writercises | Entries tagged with revision

Original Posting 2022/1/20

Hi, ho... over here on Writing Excuses, https://writingexcuses.com/2022/01/16/17-3-chekovs-surprising-yet-inevitable-inverted-gun/ they have a bit of homework at the end of the podcast that I think deserves some attention. The rest of the podcast is a discussion of various examples based around the maxim that if you hang a gun on the mantle in Act I, you should fire the gun in Act III, or at the very least, do something with it!

But the exercise is fairly simple. Basically, take a work in progress (you have one of those, right?). Now, pick a character, a place, a thing, some bit that you included near the beginning that you did not intend to use later on the story. Perhaps a waiter at the diner where the protagonist had breakfast, or the gas station where they filled up the car, or... something that was not intended to be a major player. And... make it one! Write it into the big climax, revise things to make this a major part of the story.

Yes, you may have to do some revision earlier in the story, and in other parts, to really make this work. But that's part of what the exercise is pointing to, is the changes that are needed to make that gun on the mantle shoot someone in the final action.

Remember, as the actors tell us, there are no small parts, only small actors. So, let your character/setting/whatever take the center stage and show you what they can add to your story!

Write!

mbarker

Original Posting 2021/5/10

Elsewhere, someone asked for advice about whether or not to stop and make a revision to their work in progress or not. They explained they were about 50% or better into their story, but had just realized that there was a bit character in the early part who could play a bigger role as a red herring, and they wondered whether to go back and rewrite the early part now, or press on to the end and then do the revision. Here's my response...

I think the answer is yes. Seriously, I've seen advocates for both approaches to handling that great idea that comes in the middle of writing. One group suggests that you write yourself a note, to be used during revision, but then press ahead and write the whole thing. Their argument is that you may (and probably will) come up with other changes that need to be worked in, and pushing to finish first (a) ensures that you do finish, and (b) let's you work in all those changes during a revision pass or two, instead of repeatedly restarting during the first draft race to the end. Another group says no, when you have a change like this, go ahead and rewrite, patch it in, and then work forward from a strong base, with the change already in place. That way you don't have as much rework to do on the later parts, since you already worked in the change.

I think a lot of it depends on your own approach. If you are trying to keep the whole thing in your head, and writing, writing, aiming at that finish (aka discovery writing or pantser), then it probably makes sense to just make a note and keep going. You're going to keep on discovering things to work into the story, and that revision is going to be fairly hefty anyway, so go ahead and get a whole list before you go back and start making changes. On the other hand, if you have a pretty good idea of where you are going, and the change will be fairly major, (aka plotter?) then it may make sense to go back and work it in now. Incidentally, Lois McMaster Bujold has talked about her process, which involves writing herself a series of fairly extensive side commentaries while writing (I think of this as co-writing), which lets her keep track of changes like this for later revision, while still pushing ahead on the mainline without too much major upheaval. I suppose that might be a third approach, pause, write up bits and pieces without working them in, enough so that you think you have the idea well in hand, then go ahead.

So, yes. You may want to take a little time and at least write yourself a note, perhaps some character scenes and such, to help you keep track of that new red herring until you come back during revision and work them in everywhere. And go ahead and write the rest of the story as if you had made those changes already, but go ahead and push for the finish. OR stop now, go back and rework things to at least bring out that new character, add some scenes and dialogue and so forth, and then pick up again with a firmer base to work from.

Your choice. Whichever works best for your writing process, at this time, for this story.

mbarker

Original Posting 7/20/2019

Writer's Digest, December 1991 on pages 26-29 had an article by Jules Archer about common problems. "New writers tend to repeat each other's mistakes – errors you can easily avoid with care and rewriting. A veteran writing instructor points out 10 of the most common flaws."Here are the 10 most common errors that Jules saw and his solutions.1. Expository diarrhea. He gives an example of a paragraph filled with details, and utterly boring. Hanging up the telephone takes one long sentence. Walking into the corridor is another one. And so on. "Such scenes get written because new writers are often unsure how to move a character from one place to the next, so they do it by describing every physical movement. The correct way to reposition a character is quickly and simply, eschewing pointless detail, just as films do by a swift cut from one scene to the next. A simple space break between paragraphs can move a character to a new place, introduce a new scene, or show passage of time.2. Runaway Dialogue. "New writers believe they must reproduce such small talk to make the conversation realistic. But that's not the economical way characters talk in professional short stories." It may not be exactly the way people talk, but dialogue that advances the storyline and gets to the point quickly feels more natural to readers.3. Obscure writing. Watch out for pronouns that the reader can't identify. Anytime a reader has to stop and reread a sentence or paragraph, you, the writer, have not been clear.4. Anti-climactic sentences. Jules' example is "Sam Gordon was guilty of murder, cheating on his taxes, and cutting into supermarket lines." Unless your writing comedy, put the most serious thing, the most powerful thing at the end of the sentence.5. Unclear antecedents. Here's Jules example. "Weeping in despair for the death of his one love, the hospital was grimly silent around him." Weeping hospitals! Whoops.6. Deadly lead paragraphs. Your lead paragraph must be interesting and hook your reader. "Which lead would make you want to read on? The story lead that offers an interesting conflict or problem has a better chance of capturing reader interest."7. Change in focus. Who is the point of view? Set it up, and stick to it. "When you're telling a story through protagonist's viewpoint, you can't have anything happen outside of the protagonist's presence or knowledge."8. Think pieces. Make sure you do your research. Not just an opinion piece, but something specific with solid facts.9. Misspellings. "A more basic flaw is submitting a manuscript full of misspellings." Especially if you are self-publishing, you need to catch that yourself.10. Not rewriting enough. "Perhaps the most destructive of these common mistakes is the failure to rewrite sufficiently." Throw out the garbage language, and write the best you can.It's basics, but sometimes we all need a reminder. So take something you've been working on, and check for those basics. Expository diarrhea, runaway dialogue, obscure writing, anti-climactic sentences, unclear antecedents, a deadly lead, bouncing focus, lack of specific facts, misspellings, and not enough rewriting?Right? Write!

mbarker

Original posting Feb. 21, 2019

Inspired by #20 of Pixar's 22 Rules of Storytelling (one version over here https://www.fripp.com/pixars-22-rules-of-storytelling/). The Rule says:

Exercise: Take the building blocks of a movie you dislike. How do you rearrange them into what you do like?

Okay, let's see...

1. Take a movie, TV show, story, or even a work in progress that you don't like, that isn't working, whatever. It's broke, okay?
2. Take it apart! What are the elements that are there? Setting, characters, plot (events, scenes, you know?).
3. Now, what would you change to make it work, for you? What's missing, what's extra, what's wrong with it, and how can you add/subtract/modify to make it work?
4. (bonus points!) Now that you know what's wrong and how you want to change it, as Nike advises, DO IT!

I think of this as revision at the strategic level -- building blocks, not details.

mbarker

Original Posting Feb. 13, 2018

Writer's Digest, May 1994, had an article by Nancy Kress, with the title "Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch…" And a subtitle "Transitions are the signposts that guide readers smoothly – or not – through your story." Aha. Those funny little transitions.

Nancy starts by pointing out that we all struggle to smooth out the bumps between paragraphs and scenes. Well, what are the guidelines for transitions?

First, there are lots of transitions you don't need! Nancy says she sees more student writing with superfluous transitions than missing ones! Superfluous transitions call attention to the mechanics. But which ones don't you need? Well, first look for the ones within a single scene, instead of between scenes.

"Eliminate transitions between types of narrative modes." Dialogue, description, action, thought, and exposition are the ways we narrate our stories, and most of the time, you don't need to signal when you're switching. For instance, between dialogue and thought, you don't need to say Henry thought or something like that. The reader will figure out that you are telling us about thoughts.

"Eliminate transitions between flashbacks." The tense change, from past tense to past perfect tense, often is enough to let the reader know that we've switched. Yes, we can remember that first summer, but "Her first summer had been so different." is enough to let us know we've jumped into a flashback.

"Minimize locomotion writing." Unless the trip is necessary, just do a cut. Tell us where we've arrived, maybe when it is, and go on. We don't really need to know all the steps.

"Don't become the Weather Channel!" Weather reports are often used for transitions. If it's important, maybe. But be careful, don't overdo it.

At the same time, there are transitions you do need. At the start of each new scene or chapter, orient the reader. Time and space, who's there. The straightforward approach is to do this immediately. Although, that can get tiresome. So you might change it up, some action, some dialogue, and then orient. Do watch for what I call lurking characters – scenes where you think two people are talking, and there's a whole chorus group just waiting to surprise me when they start talking.

Oh, if your story uses multiple points of view, make sure that the scene transitions also tell us which POV this scene uses.

Transitions you might need. Nancy talks about large chunks of time. The easiest thing is, skip the time between chapters, and start with a clear indication of how much time has gone by. It was 1936, six years later… You can also fill in with a little expository summary. That's right, you get to tell, not show! Toss in a little characterization, maybe reveal some interesting changes, and… On with the parade.

Nancy summarizes her advice in three principles:

1. If you can leave a transition out, do.
2. Make clear the where, when, and who of each new scene.
3. Present the where, when, and who in varied ways that also contribute to characterization, description, or plot.

"Transitions are the guideposts that direct readers through your story. Provide them as needed – but put them by the side of the road, where they belong, not under your story's wheels."

So, a squeaky wheel needs some grease, but not too much. Make those transitions help your reader slide right through the story!

Practice? The obvious thing is take a work in progress, or a piece you like, or something like that. Now look closely. You might even want to highlight the transitions that are there. Is this transition necessary? Try taking it out and see what happens. Look for the beginnings of scenes. Does it have a clear who, when, and where? Does it need a smoother transition? Again, try adjusting the transition in that beginning and see what happens. Then look at the ways that the transitions are handled across the scenes. Do you use the same one repeatedly, too many times? Could you do a little bit more with characterization, description, or plot in the transitions? You might even consider adding to your revision checklist a piece about checking the transitions?

Write?

mbarker

Original Posting Dec. 5, 2017

Writer's Digest, February 1994, had a two page article on pages 38 and 39 focusing on what to do when your editor says cut. "I want 25,000 words cut from your manuscript. When can I see a revision?" Yipes!

So, start out by separating thematic (content) and mechanical (text) editing. Then…

Thematic chops

1. Get into the story right away. In medias res? You know, get to the good stuff!
2. Chop character development. Secondary, minor – cut the lengthy characterization, but keep a essential action.
3. Pare character background. Will readers still know what's going on without this background? Will the plots suffer? Cut the extra.
4. Delete characters. Are there extra characters who don't play pivotal roles? Can you combine them with other characters?
5. Cut multiple motivations. If more than one motivation drives the same outcome, get rid of the extras.
6. Simplify atmosphere characters. Yes, waiters, taxi drivers and so forth are wonderful, but… Focus on the main guys.
7. Cut linking scenes. That walk along the river to get from one scene to another – use the movie camera cut, and just jump the transition.
8. Rely on the present. What's happening now is more important than the past. Get rid of the old.
9. Simplify writerly touches. Excess foreshadowing, contrasts, allusions, comparisons, imagery. Necessary description, but not purple prose.
10. Pare interrelated scenes. The same scene from different viewpoints, narrative scenes about a secondary storyline, try cutting it.
11. Cut action. If the dialogue is the most important part, cut down on the description of action.
12. Delete secondary storylines. Yes, they make the story richer – and longer!

Mechanical chops

1. Cut the "he saids" and "she thoughts." If there's only one or two characters, or they have unique styles, you may not need dialogue tags. Try it without them. The same for interior monologues -- we probably know who is thinking, right?
2. Line edit. Rephrase, rewrite, active tense.
3. Delete extra adjectives and adverbs.

All right? Start with the high level structural changes. Then get down to line-by-line tightening. See how many words you can take out!

mbarker

Original posting Sept. 22, 2017

Writer's Digest, February 2001, has an article by William Hutchinson on pages 36-38 and 53, talking about your second draft. As the subtitle puts it, "Spilling a story out of your heart and onto the page is easy sometimes. Putting your thoughts into usable form can be the tricky part." But William provides you with a guide…

How do you sort out the first draft and turn it into a great second draft? Well, here's one approach.

1. Start with 250

Do a story summary. If you've got several stories or your story has lots of twists and turns, you might expand the summary to 500 words, but keep it simple. You're looking for the story inside your plot.

2. Set the total count

Now, how many words do you think it takes to tell your story the way you want to tell it. You may have overwritten, and need to cut a lot, or you might need to add. Decide how long you think your story should be.

3. Count chapters

All right, now you know how many words. But how many chapters? This is partly style, genre, and what kind of a story you're trying to tell. Some people like one page chapters, others have long chapters with many scenes and points of view. Thrillers are likely to have short chapters, romance longer chapters. Action? Brief chapters. Character driven? Probably longer meditative chapters. Estimation? Say 2500 words per chapter, so divide your length by that size and see what you come up with.

4. Separate scenes

Most chapters have more than one scene. Three or four chapters is fairly common. Go ahead and lay out how you think the chapters break up into scenes.

"If you're lucky, your first draft will reveal the story you want to tell; not necessarily the story you set out to tell, but the story that has emerged in the writing. Outlining means focusing in on that single thread, recognizing extraneous plot twists and characters for the distractions they truly are and ruthlessly eliminating them, no matter how painful that may be."

5. List your scenes

Make a written list of the scenes in your current manuscript. Check for good scene construction. Does each scene have a beginning, middle, and end? Does it start with action? Does it clearly and quickly establish where we are and who is present?

Now check whether the scene advances the plot, establishes character, and describes setting.

6. Add and subtract

Now, fit that list of scenes into the distribution of scenes over chapters that you have developed. Cut, combine, add, shift the order. Eliminate scenes about people, places, and things that don't match the story you're telling now. Subplots about people that aren't really important to your story? Cut them. Scenic travel that doesn't do anything? Hop a jet plane, and get to the action.

7. Eliminate repetition

One or two good scenes are better than several mediocre scenes – get rid of the extras! If your characters keep doing the same things, show us the best version or two, and then something new.

8. Consolidate

Combining scenes and characters can give your scenes richer texture. One outstanding secondary character will stick in the readers mind, where several bit players just vanish.

9. Build bridges

You may need some bridge scenes to advance the story. Go ahead!

10. Count to three

Construct your outline, using the classic three-part dramatic structure. The first act is about the first third of your manuscript, and it's the character section. Lots of description, get us into that world, and quote tantalizing nibbles of plot." Development and exposition of characters is what you should be focusing on here. The second act? About half of your manuscript. Conflict! Complications. Plot driven, lots of action, keep it moving. The third act, the resolution, is your shortest. 15 to 20% of the pages. "When the monster dies, the movie's over."

So that's it. Then you get to write that second draft! Yay.

Practice? Well, take something you've written, a first draft that you haven't cleaned up, and walked through the steps. Here's the short version that William provided in a sidebar:

1. Summarize your story in 250 words.
2. Set the total word length of the book.
3. Divide the number of words by 2500 to decide how many chapters you need.
4. Divide your chapters into scenes.
5. Make a list of the scenes in the current draft.
6. Cut, combine, add, and reorder scenes.
7. Eliminate repetition.
8. Make sure scenes and characters work together.
9. Create bridge scenes as needed.
10. Make sure you have a beginning, middle, and end.

10 steps, and you're on your way to your second draft.
Write?

tink

mbarker

Original Posting July 14, 2017

Revision! Just how do you tackle that? Well, Writer's Digest, April 2000, on pages 30-33, as an article by Raymond Obstfeld with the title "A Four-Step Plan." And indeed, Raymond lays out four steps to doing revision. I'm just going to grab the headings from each section, and maybe a little bit of the discussion. If you're interested, look up the article!

Now, Raymond recommends two key things. First, compartmentalize the approach – do it in four steps, and focus on only fixing that thing while you're doing that step. Second, he doesn't suggest revising the whole thing in one great big swoop. Instead, he recommends tackling short, self-contained sections – scenes or chapters. Unlike many, he actually discourages writing the whole draft and then starting to revise. Instead, he likes to do short pieces and revise them. Your mileage may vary?

Step one: Structure

Goal: Develop a clear and compelling plot.
Look for: too passive, talking head characters; no plot buildup/anti-climactic action.
How to fix: basically, you're looking to see that the events are in the right order, and that if they are, the scenes build toward a satisfying climactic payoff.

Talking heads happens when nothing's going on – make the scene more active. Every scene should have a beginning, middle, and end! Conflict, complications, and resolution. Now, you may also need to revise the overall structure. Easiest is to create notecards for each scene or chapter, who is in the scene, what happens, how big is it? Then look at the notecards, move them around, add or subtract as needed.

Step two: Texture

Goal: Sharpen descriptive passages to make characters, setting, and action more vivid.
Look for: too much or too little description, research info dump, too many adjectives, info in the wrong place.
How to fix: this step has a lot to do with defining your own style.

How much description? If there's so much that it bogs down, you need to cut. If there's so little that we can't imagine the characters or settings, you need more. Poetic, wonderful stuff that makes you admire the author – probably cut, maybe use later? Watch for word choice, and use strong, rich, evocative terms. Imagine adjectives are $100 bills – don't waste them.

Step three: Dialogue

Goal: Elicit character personality through conversation.
Look for: Too many taglines, too few taglines, taglines in the wrong place, bland or melodramatic lines.
How to fix: Taglines are the "he said" and "she said" parts of dialogue. When there are only two speakers, several lines can go on without telling us who the speaker is. The reader already knows. [Also, the dialogue should be identifiable!]

Make the character voices individual, cadence, tone! Try rearranging where you put the taglines, and vary your use of speech tags and action tags. Keep your tags simple.

Step four: Editing

Goal: Tighten pace and continuity.
Look for: Repetition through implication, slow passages.
How to fix: Cut. Cut. Cut.

Cut. And then make sure your transitions are clear.

Go through all four steps. Now, are you comfortable sending it or publishing it? If not, start again. But at least you know you have looked at all aspects of the work!

There you go!

Practice? Sure. Take a piece you have written, and try walking through the four steps. Now, did your piece end up improved?

Good time to submit it to Writers@mit.edu and see what happens!
tink

mbarker.livejournal.com

Original Posting Oct. 10, 2016

All right! While you probably won't want to use this as a way to revise your story during Nanowrimo, you can certainly use these ideas to help get yourself set and ready, and even to spark some excitement while writing, writing, writing during Nano! Sound like a plan?

Writer's Digest, March 2003, pages 38-41, had an article with the title Your 6-Step Storytelling Workout by Steven James. He suggests that using these six steps will give your story punch, power, and poignancy! Oooo... Ready?

1. Crystallize characters!

Steven starts with a short anecdote about an acting conference, where a director said, "Every time a character steps on stage, he wants something. To develop your character, figure out what he wants while he's onstage."

Simple, right? Why is this character here? What they want? How far will they go to get it? MOTIVATION! Yes!

What does this character want?

Hum... Steven says "At the heart of every story is a character who faces a struggle and makes a discovery." So... who is that character?

2. Intensify struggles.

Steven talks about teaching children to write. He doesn't ask them to write about their vacations, that's boring. He tells them, "You don't have a story until something goes wrong. Tell me about something that went wrong over vacation." And stories pour out!

What is the struggle of your main character? What are they trying to achieve, overcome, or accomplish?

Note, Steven recommends struggles, intimate and personal, rather than conflicts, external and distant. Make the struggle deeper, richer, don't just add conflicts. Then show how facing that struggle transforms the character.

Personal, emotional, hard to overcome. Escalate those problems, make the setbacks serious, and the dangers bad and closeup.

3. Hint at emotions.

Here's where you need to be subtle. Don't worry, an interesting character busting themselves in an intriguing struggle is going to bring out emotion. But you, as writer, don't want to be bashing the reader over the head with telling them about it. Hint!

Get the reader to identify with the characters, get them to feel the struggles, then let them ride along. Action, dialogue, and body language, don't just tell us about it.

4. Clarify discoveries.

Beginning, middle, end? Well, how about origination, muddle, resolution? The beginning originates everything that follows. The middle is the central struggle. And the ending? That's the culminating event, the big climax, surprising and yet inevitable.

"What makes a story worth telling is the causal relationship of events that produces a change in the condition or circumstances of the main character.… Stories reveal the transformation of characters or situations."

Make the revelation or discovery by the character clear!

5. Muddy the choices.

Choose the right thing or the wrong thing? Too easy. Make your character choose between two right things! Dilemmas, situations that demand the character be in two places at once, choose between two promises, or otherwise figure out which pile of straw to go to.

Internal struggles with all the choices there, and external struggles with tasks. Play them off against each other, and look for "a moment of realization when a choice from the outer story helps the main character overcome her inner struggle."

Highlight those moments of decision! Raise the ante! Life or death consequences! Make your reader wonder what's going to happen!

6. Ratchet up the action.

"The more personal the struggle and the more impending the danger, the more suspenseful the story." Make sure you introduce the central struggle early.

Keep the pace moving. Watch for long flashbacks, dialogue that doesn't move the story forward, and getting stuck in one scene for too long. Movement, contrast, action, suspense… Keep the reader interested.

Rising tension, more and more action. Always add a new struggle before you resolve an existing one.

Motivate your characters, make them struggle, hint at emotions, bring out those decisions and discoveries, make the choices hard, and crank up the action! Keep your stories working!

There is a sidebar on page 40 labeled creativity starter. It's got one exercise for each of these points! Here we go!

1. Characters. Select a character from your story. Write a scene that shows your character's personality through his actions.
2. Struggles. Take a key external conflict in your story and make it more personal. Brainstorm possible internal struggles that the characters affected by the conflict could simultaneously face. Make a list. Consider both the antagonist and the protagonist.
3. Emotions. Word choice is key to expressing how your characters feel. Practice the art of subtlety. Describe your character waking up in the morning. Do not tell us how she feels. Show us through descriptive words.
4. Discoveries. Stories shouldn't just end, they should reveal. Whether you've completed your story or not, you should consider the final resolutions – for the conflict and the characters. Articulate what transformations your ending will unveil.
5. Choices. The difference between right and wrong is often a fine line. List the pivotal choices that occur in your story, and brainstorm elements you could add to gray the distinction between right and wrong.
6. Action. Peruse your story and find a long section of boring exposition. Spice up the action by rewriting the scene as dialogue or having it take place in a new location.

There you go! Obviously some of this is aimed at revisions more than initial writing or preparation for writing, but I think there are parts of it that can help you get ready for nanowrimo, or even add some spice during Nanowrimo. I mean, can you imagine getting stuck during nanowrimo, and running down this list of ideas or creativity starters, just to get your writing going again? I certainly can!

tink

Current Mood: fiddlefaddle

mbarker.livejournal.com

Original Posting Oct. 14, 2015

Writer's Digest, April 2003, pp. 24-27, had an article by Laurie Rosin with the title 10 Tips for a Stellar Revision. The focus was on 10 basic concepts to help you do revision. While the details are worth reading, here's a short summary of what I thought were the important points.

1. A revision takes as long as it takes. Don't get in a hurry. Relax, take your time, and see what you can learn from the process.
2. Revise toward a marketable length. Especially first-time novelists often write too long, and have trouble revising this huge mass of material. Think about cutting unnecessary material before you polish. Is everything as tight as possible?
3. Torque the power of your scenes. Scenes, characters, settings -- make sure it all works towards your story. Frame your scenes with a quick here's where we are, who's there, how much of a gap from the last scene, who is the point of view and what are they thinking?
4. Begin scenes close to the action. In media res isn't just for openings!
5. Tease the reader forward into the next chapter."Each chapter's conclusion should leave the reader excited, anticipating what might happen next. Good endings, linked to powerful beginnings in the succeeding chapter, keep your audience fully engaged." What is the protagonist planning/worrying about? What is the antagonist doing? Look ahead, but save the full impact for the next scene.
6. Replace discussion with action. Meetings and routine activities are dull. Skip it, and keep your characters in action!
7. Give your antagonist some depth. Bold, intelligent villains make heroes shine! What does he want, why, and what is he willing to do to get there?
8. Make sure your dialogue matters. Characters should talk like themselves, not all the same. Make the dialogue real!
9. Incorporate your research where appropriate. The job is inform and entertain. Help the reader learn something new, give them some fun facts, something interesting.
10. Dramatize, dramatize, dramatize. Make the events immediate and real. Watch for stretches of narrative without dialogue -- you're probably telling! Let the point of view character show us the story, instead of the storyteller.

Okay? So rvise. Revse. Revise!

Current Mood: smoggy

mbarker.livejournal.com

Over here

http://madgeniusclub.com/2015/09/23/stop-the-revisions/

Sarah Hoyt talks about doing revisions, and especially the danger of over-revising. You can polish the story right out while you're fixing typos, grammar, and all that for the umpteenth time! Not that this means you shouldn't do some revision, or that some stories don't need time to age (or for your skill to reach the level to tell them), but... be careful about falling into the eternal revision cycle, where there's just one more thing to fix... and one more... and one more...

She recommends thinking about different approaches. Polish -- every story needs a basic polish. Revise -- make sure the story starts in the right place, ends in the right place, and doesn't go wandering off into a rabbit hole along the way. Recast -- take the idea, the great character, and toss the rest.

So, the rules of revision, ala Sarah A. Hoyt:

1. Polishing? Three passes: sense, wording, typos. Stop! Too much polish wipes out flavor.
2. Try something different. Don't get hung up on polishing, revising, and recasting the same old just one more time.
3. Forget the kitchen sink. Sure, you could tuck another cool idea into this story, but think about the reader. Keep the flow going, hit those beats, and avoid adding another kitchen sink.
4. Watch out for your darlings. Sometimes other people don't really want to read about your favorite cookies.
5. Don't cut the individual stuff. Personal, witty, revealing yourself... leave it in. Your story needs a touch of your blood in it.
6. If the story isn't working and you don't know why, put it in a drawer (okay, a virtual folder). Give it time. You may yank it out later and know exactly how to make it sing. But don't just keep bashing your head against the wall.
7. Do recast stories! Grab the character/idea/situation/bit that you love, toss the rest, and start fresh. You don't have to use that dead story line, those twisted words. (Remember the sunk cost bias -- we all hate to waste the time we've already spent, but sometimes you just have to change lines)
8. Write. Writing teaches you how to write, and how to revise. Keep going!

Exercise? Take a story that maybe you've had sitting around, and think about what it needs. Should you polish, revise, or recast? Try doing all three! What happens if you polish the little darling? What about cutting, reshaping, or even adding some stuff? Finally, if you were going to rewrite it, what would you save, and how could you make a whole new story out of it?

Or should you tuck it back in the drawer and let it ripen a bit more?

'saright? Get writing!

Current Mood: meep

mbarker.livejournal.com

Original posting 1 Oct 2011

Wait a minute! Last time we were writing, and now you want us to revise it? Well, yes. As with so many things, a little bit of aging, some trimming here and there, adding in some details... And you can make something really great. So, let's take a look...

You do have all these other steps done, right?

Step One: A list of traits (with action tags!) that you like and dislike?
Step Two: Answer the questions! What kind of story, setting, time? What are the name, age, traits, problems or faults, and motivation for the main character, their opposition, and the major secondary characters? Where does your story begin and end? What research do you need to do? If it was onstage (or a movie or TV -- straight to DVD?) what would be the dramatic scenes? Who might publish this?
Step Three: Expand those main characters. What is their dominant trait (and tags)? What is their goal and motivation? When do they enter the story and leave it? What is their physical description and role in the story? Oh, and what is their self-concept?
Step Four: What is the story question and answer? What is the scene/sequel chain linking them? For each scene, what is the goal or scene question, problem, conflict, and disaster or scene answer? For each sequel, what are the emotions, thoughts and planning, and decision?
Step Five: write that first draft. Get it started, keep going, and finish it. Find the change, keep yourself on track with the story question and the answer at the story ending, and keep going.

Writer's Digest, June 1992, pages 26 to 29, have the article by Jack Bickham. Jack starts by reminding us why revision is hard -- you can't see your story as a "cold reader." You don't have that curiosity, and you don't have that lack of knowledge. Readers want to find out what's going to happen, you already know. So how can you do your own revision?

Jack suggests three parts. First, let it cool off. Second, analyze it in several objective steps. Third, know when to let go, make up the final draft, and go on.

Cooling-off? That's right, putting it away for a while helps. But before you do that, write down any revision notes that you already have, and put them with a copy of the manuscript. Put all of that out of sight. Then, the hardest thing, go do something else. Write another story, plan something else, or just take a break. Writing down your notes let you forget about it. Putting it out of sight avoids reminding yourself about it. Starting another story... Well, that's one way to get your brain off of this story and into something else.

Next, tackle one thing at a time. Start out by trying to get a general impression of the story. Try to read it quickly and casually, just like an editor or a reader might. Relax, read through it the way that you would read a story by someone else. When you finish, take a few minutes to think about what you read. What was good about it? Were there any mistakes that you caught? Now, write out some notes -- what do you want to change, what you really like about it, and so on. You might want to make notes about the style, pace, handling of the character -- the kinds of things that editors often note. If you see something that really needs to change, change it. Don't bother trying to make it perfect, just paste something in or make notes.

Next, you might want to try syntax analysis. Check your words and sentences and paragraphs against the kind of publication you want to sell to. Start by checking spelling, punctuation and grammar. Just marking things that need changes is enough, you don't have to fix it now. Now take a published story from the magazine you're trying to sell to and pick out three random segments. Compare these with your story. Are the paragraphs about the same length? Is there about the same amount of dialogue? All you need for this is a rough visual comparison, not detailed. If the magazine likes long, long paragraphs and you have plenty of dialogue, with short snippets of paragraphs... Well, you may want to reconsider.

Now look at three segments of your own story. Check the number of words in every sentence. Is there a comfortable range of variation, or are you writing almost all the same kind of sentences? Now check out how many three syllable or longer words you got? How many words are longer than 15 characters?

When you're done with that, try tactical analysis. Jack provides a checklist of points. Ready? Here is a summary:

Background
-- Do you need more study, or research, for any part?
-- Does every major story character have enough motivation from their past lives?
-- Do you know enough about the market that you're aiming at?
Characters
-- Are your character names sufficiently varied?
-- Are your major characters bigger than life? Are they vivid? Where do you show them?
-- Does every major character have a self-concept and tell or show it in the story? Do their actions, occupations, goals match their self-concept?
-- What is the essential trait of each major character, and what tags show this? Does each character show their trait three or four times?
-- Do your characters speak realistically, with interruptions and all that?
-- Are there brief physical descriptions of every major character?
-- Do the major characters have different appearances, attitudes, and ways of talking?
-- Does the reader know what the major characters want and what's bothering them?
Viewpoint
-- Look for places where the viewpoint fails. In particular, watch for sudden momentary shifts into the point of view of someone else. Make sure the reader knows who the viewpoint character is.
-- If you changed viewpoint, was the change mandatory? Was it clearly signaled to the reader?
-- Are there some direct statements about the thoughts and feelings of the viewpoint character and nobody else?
-- Is the viewpoint character active, doing things, changing?
-- Is the viewpoint character someone you personally could understand and even like?
Plot
-- What is the story question?
-- Is the story question apparent early in your story?
-- Does your story focus on the story question?
-- Does your ending answer the story question?
-- How many scenes are in your story?
-- How many sequels?
-- Do the scenes lead logically to the sequels, and vice versa?
-- Does each scene open with a clearly stated or understood goal for the viewpoint character?
-- Does each scene have conflict or opposition to hook the reader and create sympathy and suspense for the viewpoint character?
-- Does each scene end with a disaster -- a twist that makes life worse for the viewpoint character?
-- Does each sequel provide feelings and thoughts for the character? Does it show why the character decides to go off to do something else next?
-- Comparing your story with your plan, have you left out any scenes or sequels? Do you remember why?
-- Have you introduced secondary story questions that might confuse the reader, instead of enriching the story? Are their struggles or discussions that don't relate to the story question?
-- Does something happen in your ending, even if it's not very big?
Miscellaneous
-- Are there any real people in your story who might sue you?
-- If you started with a real life situation, have you changed enough details to avoid hurting someone?
-- Is your story opening as arresting and interesting as you can possibly make it?
-- Is there any "fine writing" in your story? Poetic flights of fancy, long colorful descriptions? Consider killing them.
-- Is your final manuscript correctly formatted and ready for submission?

That's it. Background, characters, viewpoint, plot, and the miscellaneous (although I might argue with Jack that the question about story opening really belongs in the plot section). Go over your story, consider these various points, and make notes about what you want to change.

And then it's time to let go. Take the notes, changes, and all that that you've accumulated, go through your story one more time to clean it up, and make your final copy. Be careful about major changes, because it can be difficult to keep the story consistent. Compare your final version with the publication that you planned to submit to, and decide if you need to change the market. But next, get the manuscript ready and submit.

By the way, Jack doesn't mention it, but I kind of think if you have a writing group such as WRITERS, one thing you might want to do as part of the revision process is submit it to the writing group and collect their comments. You don't have to agree with all of them, but at least it gives you another set of eyes.

And forget it and start to work on the next story.

Write!

Current Mood: scribbling

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Original posting 18 February 2010

Writers Digest, February 2009, pages 30-34, have an article by Elizabeth Sims with the title, "Rough It Up." The subtitle is "Get messy with your first draft to get to the good stuff."

Elizabeth starts with Ernest Hemingway's quote, "The first draft of anything is shit." And she talks about how she went from trying to get her writing right the first time to a more relaxed approach. And she assures us that as the first drafts got rougher, the finished work got better. Some of her points...

Be Honest. A careful first draft often leads to a stilted product because you haven't let yourself go. Creativity in writing depends a lot on honesty, and when you write fast, you don't have time to hide from yourself. So let the words flow -- and watch the ideas bubble.
Learn to love anarchy. Write what you think of, not what comes next. Get the words and the scenes and the thoughts out there -- then straighten them out.
Get loose. Relax. Scribble. Make notes of other ways to say things -- or just write them both down. Keep notes for things to check, etc. Don't try to save paper, you're exploring. When a notion strikes, write it down. Circles, arrows, loops, scratch it out and overwrite. If you use the computer to write, work at making the words flow, and don't try to make it pretty. Think! But don't let yourself get stuck. Suspend judgment. Hang it right up there on the wall, and don't let it come down until you've got the first draft done.
Face your second draft. Admittedly, the first draft is rough. But that makes the second draft fun! Now you can edit, rewrite, sequence, do all that stuff. And drop the crud that got written just to let you see the diamonds in the muddle.

Elizabeth talks about rhythm. For her, that's a couple of days writing longhand, then a day writing and editing on the computer. Other people like to spend longer on the first draft, even writing the whole book and then going to the second draft. Whatever works for you. The key is to let the first draft be a rough draft, an exploration in words, instead of trying to make it perfect.

"During the course of writing six novels, I realized that the days when the truth shone brightest were the days my pen flowed the freest and messiest across the pages. And I was rewarded with longer and longer satisfactory passages. It's paradoxical that giving up control rewards you with what you seek most: concise, insightful work."

So, that's Elizabeth Sims take on first drafts. I have to admit, it reminds me of the blue-pencil cartoons, the rough scribbles that cartoonists use before they finish up. The lines are wild, sketchy, and messy. But that will all be overwritten or erased by the final. Or actors, dancers, and others practicing -- trying things out, sometimes even bumping into each other, and... then there is the real performance, where it all looks so smooth.

I'm not sure why we think that writing has to be perfect the first time. Especially with the computer for editing and changes, why not give yourself permission to try things out in the first draft? Nobody needs to see it but you -- and you do need to see what those other notions would look like if you put them in words. So do it!

Write!

Current Mood: messy

mbarker.livejournal.com

Original posting 30 Dec 2009

A.k.a. pacing...

Writers Digest, December 2008, pages 61-62 has an article by Steve Almond with the title, "Pacing." It comes with a sidebar about pacing mistakes, and exercises. So... first the article.

Steve starts out by reminding us that Anton Chekhov recommended throwing out the first three pages of every initial draft. The reason? Well, mostly because we all spend a while getting started, and fairly often the real beginning of the story is buried a ways in. So...consider slashing the start. Some questions to consider -- is the protagonist alone for the first pages? Is he in bed or bathtub? Is he worrying, and mostly thinking about stuff? If so, you might want to cut, slash, and burn.

Second, Steve passes on some wisdom from Jim Shepard about pacing. Pacing is the rate of revelation. So when readers are learning new things, the pace is fast. When the revelations slow down, the pace slows down. Note that chronology and rate of revelation are not necessarily related.

So -- look for the real beginning of your story, and keep the pace moving by revealing new things to the reader.

And on to pacing mistakes:

Covering too much ground. When stories are sketchy, just outlines, they don't engage readers. So make sure that you are setting scenes, not just outlining them. Remember, readers don't really want a list of facts, they want living characters.
Front-loading the background. Readers need to know what the main character knows before plunging too far into the scene, but... don't infodump. Get to the story, then give the necessary background.
Cutting the B+ material. Go ahead and write the bloat -- and then cut it. You want to make your stories tight, and stay focused on top-notch material. "That's what proper pacing is all about: making sure the reader is pulled through the story, as if by an invisible thread."

And, since you've been patient, here's the exercises...

Look at your most recent rough draft. Try cutting the first three pages-- where would it start? Or at least, take a look at the background material in the first few pages. Is it essential? Cut the extra.
Read your favorite short story (or novel) again. Look at the passage of time -- how long does the story really take? Then look at the revelations, and especially the rate of revelation in the climactic spots. How does the pacing work in that story?
Print out two copies of a rough draft of a recent story. Then try cutting every word that isn't absolutely needed. Cut at least half the story. Then identify the most dramatic, climactic points and rewrite them. Try slowing the pace.

Go ahead. Keep things moving, and pace yourself.

Current Mood: pixilated

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Original Posting 20 August 2009

Writers' Digest, October 2004, pages 26 to 33, has a collection of short "nuggets of wisdom" related to getting published. Maria Schneider is the author of the compilation. Take a deep breath, and here we go:

"Writers love words -- it's one of the greatest of our occupational hazards. Consequently, when a first draft comes rushing out of us, it invariably contains too many of them. It's your job to go through the manuscript and identify the bones that require scoping. To do this, monitor your own response to the rhythms of your sentences and paragraphs. You'll know when the sentence is too long if, by the end of it, you feel as you would listening to someone share an anecdote that drags on too long." I.J. Schechter

It's kind of fun to see how these various people think about writing and revision. Schechter seems to see the first draft as an outpouring, flooding the page with words. Then revision is paring it down, getting rid of the extra junk around the edges so that you can see what the core is. And the suggestion about paying attention to your own response to your own rhythms. Do you read your work out loud? Can you hear the words?

I do wonder if there is a difference between the reader who listens to the words, the reader who sees the scenes, and perhaps the reader who is there? I mean, if we're paying too much attention to the words, to the singing beauty of the writing, are we missing the story? Or...

Anyway -- beware of the flood of words, drenching your story in muddy swirls. Clean it up!

Current Mood: swirly

mbarker.livejournal.com

Original Posting 6 August 2009

Writer's Digest, February 2008, pages 46, 48, 49, have an article by Jordan E. Rosenfeld with the title, "Novel Revision for the Faint of Heart." Jordan lays out 10 steps to relatively pain-free rewriting. Yes, revision can be your friend!

1. Let your work breathe. Before you start revising, set your novel aside. Take some time off. Go ahead and think about how you would like your novel to change, just don't dive right into the details. Step back, take a deep breath, and think about what's important to you about your novel.

2. Deep cleaning. There's a temptation to try to do things with little fixes -- add a little bit of backstory in dialogue, maybe a bit of language tuning here and there, tack in a little explanation, and other superficial changes -- instead of really delving into the restructuring, a real flashback scene, and cutting that may be necessary. You don't have to do everything at once, but take a look. If you need to do major surgery, don't put it off.

3. Take inventory. Sometimes it's hard to see the forest for the trees -- even if it is a cliche. You've written a lot of details, and now you need to know the key points for consistency. You may have made notes while you are writing, but you will need to check them and make sure that you are consistent. Focus on the big critical pieces of information and important characters. Go through each chapter and list the key points. Watch out for inconsistencies.

4. Seek high voltage. As you're re-reading, you'll find passages that are really good. "They sparkle with life, clear writing or lyrical beauty. They make you feel excited, glad or hopeful that you actually wrote them." Highlight those passages. Pay attention to why they work, and try to bring everything up to that level.

5. Purge. A big part of revision is helping to get rid of the clutter. Identify and then reshape or junk

adverbs and similes that are over the top
overt explanations, infodumps, and other descriptive backstory
scenes that don't contribute anything new for plot or character
melodrama!
verbal diarrhea

Just the story.

6. Point of view. Doublecheck the point of view. First person, third person, omniscient? What's the best for each and every scene?

7. Make a plot promise. You promise your readers that you are going to take them somewhere meaningful and lead them carefully. There will be some surprises, but no deliberate misleading. To do that, you need to make sure the plot is solid and that everything contributes to it. Funny scenes, beautiful scenes, but not part of this plot? Kill them. Tie up the plot points, make sure major characters' storylines are resolved, and fill in any plot holes.

8. Deepen your characters. Check for flat characters. Anybody lurking under a simple label? Do all the major and most of the secondary characters have layers, flaws, seem like someone who could walk around the corner and shake your hand tomorrow? Make sure that everyone is a real character.

9. Write scenes. Check for narrative summaries. Replace them with scenes. Remember, you want your reader to experience your story, not just listen to you lecturing. So put in the action, setting, dialogue, plot information, and physical movements that bring your story to life.

10. Be concrete. Floating heads talking against an indistinct setting? Bring in the details. Put your story in a specific place, with specific characters. Vagueness, abstraction, ambiguity -- stick their feet in a bucket and pour in the concrete. Bring them down to earth.

Key point: set up a plan and do your revision an aspect at a time. Trying to fix everything all at once is guaranteed to be overwhelming. So fix one kind of thing at a time.

And remember, you don't have to make it perfect. You just have to make it good.

Current Mood: checkered

mbarker.livejournal.com

Original posting 16 July 2009

Writers' Digest, October 2004, pages 26 to 33, has a collection of short "nuggets of wisdom" related to getting published. Maria Schneider is the author of the compilation. Take a deep breath, and here we go:

"Dive deeper into your manuscript. Break it down into components and analyze where it goes off track. Maybe the lead-in is too long, the buildup is unevenly paced or the payoff isn't satisfying. Dissect the story and examine how you can make each section as powerful as it can be." I. J. Schecter

Revision by chopping and weighing? Sure, why not? After all, if we have five pages of lead-in, two pages of buildup, and a single flaming page of climax... perhaps it is a bit lacking in balance? Or consider the act one, two, three structure? How are you handling the incitement to action, the kick that gets the hero off their duff? And then walk across the room and out! What gets them going, what forces them through the first door of no return, what makes them decide to take on the bad guys? Complications and trials, the middle of the sandwich -- as the old ad has it, "Where's the beef?" Make it a dagwood! And then... what forces them into the second doorway of no return, the final commitment to stand and do or die, to fight the unbeatable...well, you know how that goes, right?

Look at the different parts. How does the story balance in terms of action and reflection? Or was that action and dialogue? Plot vs. character? You got some setting in there for ballast?

Rotate the tires, check the pressure, a little lube, dipstick for the oil...

You get the picture. Run your own checkup and make sure that your little darling is ready for a spin.

Current Mood: balanced

mbarker.livejournal.com

Original Posting 13 July 2009

Writers' Digest, October 2004, pages 26 to 33, has a collection of short "nuggets of wisdom" related to getting published. Maria Schneider is the author of the compilation. Take a deep breath, and here we go:

"Remember that verbs are power words. Adjectives are weaker words that can dress up your work but can also interfere with the smoothness of the writing. Make sure each adverb you use is essential. Ask yourself if you can eliminate the need for the adverb by choosing a different, stronger verb." Bob Mayer

Adverbs? That would be the "ly" words, such as "he wrote smoothly?" It seems to me that part of the trick here is noticing that we often add add adverbs instead of really describing things. If we've set the scene properly, described the characters well, and shown the reader what's going on in this scene -- we don't really need to say, "Joe stomped angrily across the room." The reader knows what Joe was feeling, so all we need to say is, "Joe stomped across the room." The impulse to add that adverb either comes from feeling that we can't quite trust the reader to figure it out or perhaps knowing that we haven't really done the description. Trust the reader. Do go back and doublecheck that you've done the foreshadowing and the description needed to make sure that the reader knows what's happening, then you can use simple verbs.

Nouns and verbs. The meat and potatoes in the writer's meal? Some spices, a little pepper, some garlic, but by and large, nouns and verbs. Although I have to admit, I do like a salad and maybe some dessert, too :-)

Current Mood: spuds

mbarker.livejournal.com

Original Posting 17 June 2009

Writers' Digest, October 2004, pages 26 to 33, has a collection of short "nuggets of wisdom" related to getting published. Maria Schneider is the author of the compilation. Take a deep breath, and here we go:

"If I want to see a story in print, I simply have to become that story's biggest enemy, so why not dig in and begin slashing?" Mark Wisniewski

Now that's a different approach to revision. Goes along with kill your darlings, etc. I guess. To make your story the best, tackle it as if you were the enemy. Don't sit there and say I know my story is wonderful because it's mine -- ask yourself what's wrong with this story? Point out the missing logic, and then fix it. Put your finger on the scene that doesn't do anything except look pretty -- and cut it. Grab hold of that scene that didn't get written and force it in there. Be the maniacal monster who is going to make this story cry, and then win.

Mitsuko has been watching American Idol. There's a guy on the end who usually says things like, "That was self-indulgent, boring, and useless." You can almost see the contestants brace for his critiques. But every now and then, when one of the contestants really does well, he smiles and says, "That was great!" And you know, I think most of the contestants would rather get one of his rare compliments than any of the "I like you" or "You've got a great personality" or whatever that the other judges are handing out.

That's what your story needs. Not you complimenting it for having good intentions and a nice smile. You tearing it to pieces and making it the best possible story you can! Go ahead -- be your story's worst nightmare.

Current Mood: itch

mbarker.livejournal.com

original posting 14 June 2009

Writers' Digest, October 2004, pages 26 to 33, has a collection of short "nuggets of wisdom" related to getting published. Maria Schneider is the author of the compilation. Take a deep breath, and here we go:

"Continue to learn the craft. Try to make each book better, stronger. Never settle for adequate. Learn that the delete button is your best friend. Know that every time you do a rewrite, the book is going to shine that much brighter." Katherine Sutcliffe

What can I say? Sing another verse of The Impossible Dream? Beyond satisficing -- upwards and onwards! Yeah, wordily, though I write through the night, there are still pages to go and plots to twist before I sleep?

As I've said a time or two,
WRITE!

and I know, if I'll only be...

Current Mood: committed

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