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[personal profile] mbarker
Original Posting 2022/3/24
Okay, here we go with chapter 2 of the Novelist’s Essential Guide to Crafting Scenes by Raymond Obstfeld. Title? Jump right in — the words are fine: Starting a scene. Raymond starts by reminding us that like a complete story, each scene has a beginning, middle, and end. So, what is the mission, the goal, of the beginning?

Simple, really. Hook the reader! Make the reader want to keep reading. Some of them also introduce conflict, establish stakes, or develop the theme, but the key thing is taht it makes the reader want more. So how do we do that?

One method is beginning in the middle, aka in media res. Grab the readers interest and make them care, then go back and fill in the details. Or sometimes start just after the action that kicks things off. 

Or maybe you like dialogue? That’s action, too, you know? Which gets the reader involved in trying to figure out the context, and it’s interesting, and helps a little with characterization. 

Or maybe you want to use a jump cut? After all, you may have just finished one scene, and now… give us a new bit of action or dialogue that seems disconnected from that old scene. Like a jump cut in a movie.

Yet another approach is the “big promise” opening. Often melodramatic, but it doesn’t have to be. Just give us a broad sweeping statement or claim, and make it interesting enough that we want to see how you follow it up.

Now, sometimes, you may want to just start at the “natural” beginning. For example, a description of setting when the setting plays a major role in what’s coming. Or maybe with someone waking up, although watch for the cliche… Or you might start with the catalyst action that kicks off the story.

Of course, another beginning is having one character describe another character. Often a side character describing the main character. You get immediate suspense about who is this character. 

Which brings us to beginning with character description. Usually, either self-description in first person POV, or maybe just description via third person POV. Fairly often, the self-description is… shall we say unreliable?  Not always, but often.

Hum, what about a dream? Well, Raymond warns that they can be irritating to readers, when you reveal that it was all a dream. But they can work.

So, wrap up. How do you know which one to use to start a scene? You don’t. You may have to try several different openings, and then pick the best.

Workshop? Raymond suggests you start with an opening line, and see where it takes you. Write an opening sentence that guarantees the reader will want to read the rest of the paragraph. Maybe more than one, then pick out the best. And then write the rest of the paragraph.

His suggestion for an exercise? Take this opening line, and write the next three sentences. Try writing it three times, once with a menacing tone, once with a comedic tone, and one with a combination. The opening line?

“Someone’s sitting there,” the man in the uniform said as Bill started to straddle the stool.

There you go! Write!
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[personal profile] mbarker
 Original Posting 7/20/2019

Writer's Digest, December 1991 on pages 26-29 had an article by Jules Archer about common problems. "New writers tend to repeat each other's mistakes – errors you can easily avoid with care and rewriting. A veteran writing instructor points out 10 of the most common flaws."Here are the 10 most common errors that Jules saw and his solutions.1. Expository diarrhea. He gives an example of a paragraph filled with details, and utterly boring. Hanging up the telephone takes one long sentence. Walking into the corridor is another one. And so on. "Such scenes get written because new writers are often unsure how to move a character from one place to the next, so they do it by describing every physical movement. The correct way to reposition a character is quickly and simply, eschewing pointless detail, just as films do by a swift cut from one scene to the next. A simple space break between paragraphs can move a character to a new place, introduce a new scene, or show passage of time.2. Runaway Dialogue. "New writers believe they must reproduce such small talk to make the conversation realistic. But that's not the economical way characters talk in professional short stories." It may not be exactly the way people talk, but dialogue that advances the storyline and gets to the point quickly feels more natural to readers.3. Obscure writing. Watch out for pronouns that the reader can't identify. Anytime a reader has to stop and reread a sentence or paragraph, you, the writer, have not been clear.4. Anti-climactic sentences. Jules' example is "Sam Gordon was guilty of murder, cheating on his taxes, and cutting into supermarket lines." Unless your writing comedy, put the most serious thing, the most powerful thing at the end of the sentence.5. Unclear antecedents. Here's Jules example. "Weeping in despair for the death of his one love, the hospital was grimly silent around him." Weeping hospitals! Whoops.6. Deadly lead paragraphs. Your lead paragraph must be interesting and hook your reader. "Which lead would make you want to read on? The story lead that offers an interesting conflict or problem has a better chance of capturing reader interest."7. Change in focus. Who is the point of view? Set it up, and stick to it. "When you're telling a story through protagonist's viewpoint, you can't have anything happen outside of the protagonist's presence or knowledge."8. Think pieces. Make sure you do your research. Not just an opinion piece, but something specific with solid facts.9. Misspellings. "A more basic flaw is submitting a manuscript full of misspellings." Especially if you are self-publishing, you need to catch that yourself.10. Not rewriting enough. "Perhaps the most destructive of these common mistakes is the failure to rewrite sufficiently." Throw out the garbage language, and write the best you can.It's basics, but sometimes we all need a reminder. So take something you've been working on, and check for those basics. Expository diarrhea, runaway dialogue, obscure writing, anti-climactic sentences, unclear antecedents, a deadly lead, bouncing focus, lack of specific facts, misspellings, and not enough rewriting?Right? Write!
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[personal profile] mbarker
Original Posting 5/27/2019

Writer's Digest, January 1994, on pages 44-46 has an article by Hal Blythe and Charlie Sweet talking about anecdotes. As the subtitle says, "Anecdotes told by one character to another are an effective means of accomplishing a host of storytelling objectives."
 
They start out by recounting part of Jaws, when Robert Shaw and Richard Dreyfuss are waiting for the great white shark to attack, and Shaw tells a war story. Even while it lets us the viewers catch our breath, it adds to the tension. Now, having characters tell anecdotes to other characters is fairly common in stories, on paper, stage, and movies. So, how can you add this tool to your toolbox? Why would you want to? Well, it at least provides variety, right? But it also has a number of other advantages.
 
First, it helps you deliver information. Sure, writers may get away with infodumping, but playwrights and others usually dramatize information. Even little stories about other characters can help with this.
 
Second, anecdotes are engaging for the audience! Show, right? Well, anecdotes make things very clear. "In short, the more your audience can picture what's happening (instead of trying to decipher abstractions), and the more they wonder about what's going on, the more involved though be in your story." Simple, right?
 
Third, anecdotes often are used to illustrate themes. "An effective means of simplifying a difficult concept is to create a narrative that dramatizes your story's major insights." These anecdotes "translate complex ideas into more easily understood situations, characters, and actions."
 
Fourth, anecdotes can deepen characterization. Readers need insight into characters, and a well constructed anecdote can give them that insight. Often, they can explain motivation.
 
Fifth, anecdotes can save words. You can accomplish multiple goals. Exposition, engaging the audience, characterization, and theme? All in a short anecdote.
 
So, what if you wanted to let your audience in on a character's motivation for a dream? Well, you could just describe it, perhaps in a flashback. But you want to emphasize it, so, think about dramatizing it. When one character tells another character about something, that anecdote gets a little extra polish. They provide an example in their article. Engagement, exposition, theme, characterization, all compressed into a few words. Not bad!
 
Now, to make the-story-within-the-story most effective, use it sparingly. If a short story has four or five anecdotes, people are likely to notice. You can vary the presentation, picking a different speaker and listener, and maybe changing the length. Remember that the anecdotes don't have to be autobiographical every time, for that matter, they don't have to be about humans. The old stories about animals may be just the right anecdote for your story. Do try to have your anecdotes serve multiple functions. It's not just content. "The fact that a character chooses to tell a story, how he relates it, and to whom he tells it can all divulge something about the teller."
 
So, kind of like the cream filling in an Oreo, think about adding a-story-within-a-story, an anecdote, to your story! Where can it add just the right touch?
 
tink
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[personal profile] mbarker
 Original Posting May 1, 2019

Writer's Digest, August 1993, pages 25-27 and 59, have an article by Michael Orlofsky talking about discreet dialect. The subtitle is "When handled poorly, dialect can demean your characters and make them into superficial stereotypes. Follow these precepts, and you'll craft dialect that'll have editors saying, 'this dog will hunt.'"Michael starts by pointing out that dialect can be problematic. Substandard English, boorish concerns, perpetuate stereotypes and don't create good dialect! Basically, we all need to be honest and careful in the characterization that dialect portrays. "I think all writers need to take dialect personally. Our challenge is implicit in all the diverse and wonderful voices and sounds we hear." Beware of the natural tendency to try to write dialect that re-creates speech patterns verbatim. All too often, this undermines the character, making them parodies or stereotypes. Simply overusing contractions, dropped letters (a.k.a. elisions) and other misspelled words really doesn't make a dialect. "The best dialogue is rarely written exactly the way it's heard."So, how do we distill dialogue and dialect to their essence? Well, dialogue must reveal personality. "My cardinal rule is this: when it comes to dialect, a little contriving goes a long way." Personality and sound often come from just one word. It's easy to read, and it can convey the character. So, how do you create dialogue that has cultural verisimilitude but dodges the stereotyping bullet, the hard to understand bullet, and the bias bullet. Try these alternatives.Euphony and rhythm. No, not you phony, the sounds! Take a look at Hemingway. Standard English, but it has a Spanish flavor. Short sentences, simple clauses, no contractions.Word choice. Sometimes ethnic, cultural, and regional groups have words that are unique, but not quite slang. Valley girl talk might be a common example. Regional usage. You're going to need context clues to help the reader understand these terms, visual descriptions, whatever.Slang. This is word choice, pushed a little bit further. It's a quick and easy way to sketch dialect. Be aware, it's dated very quickly. "Basically, slang is the substitution of a usual word or phrase with an unusual word or phrase." Or, I would've said it's substituting an unusual word or phrase for a more usual word or phrase. Take a look at Shakespeare's slang. "The trick is to avoid obviously short-lived slang and to opt for slang that so classic or entertaining that it, too, lives beyond its own time."Foreign terms. Some of the immigrants will use their own words. A single word, sometimes a translated phrase, you can use the other language.Weltanschauung. A German word for world outlook, or philosophy of life. This is probably one of the most subtle, and yet very effective, ways to portray cultural identity. How does this individual look at life differently because of their culture or society? "You probably can't learn the sensitivity and sensibility needed to understand other cultures – you're born with it. But you can cultivate what you have. Listen. Watch. Interview. Research. Read."Jargon! Groups within groups often have special words or phrases, their own jargon. Workgroups, religious groups, all kinds of groups develop their own special language. "What a character does for a living should enter into his speech and help us know him."Simile, metaphor, and colloquialism. Certain parts of a country have their own phrases. Keep track of those similes and colloquialisms when you hear them.Gestures and underlining. Dialect is not always words, sometimes it's body language. Snapping fingers, gesturing hands, and so forth. Underlining gives a word a little bit more stress, which might be just what you need to remind us that it's dialect."Each of these techniques is designed to vividly render dialect while maintaining the honesty and dignity of the character."I'm not sure that I would say he has exactly defined how you use all these, but it's an interesting collection of tools for tackling the problem of dialect. You might use it as a checklist, see whether you can use one or more of his tools. He has a lot of examples in his article, but finding the article is probably going to be kind of hard. Anyway, it's something to think about. How do you use dialect to help with characterization, and what are the writing tools to build that dialect into your dialogue?
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[personal profile] mbarker
 Original Posting Jan. 29, 2019

Writer's Digest, August, 1993, pages 22-24, had an article by Dave King with the title Talk on the Wild Side. The subtitle says, "When dialogue serves two, or three, or more purposes, your characters will be better drawn, your plot smoother, and your acceptance checks more frequent."

Dave starts out by reminding us that "good dialogue is not a faithful copy of real speech." Instead, dialogue is a version that sounds like real speech, at least in the reader's head. Dialogue is much more compressed, and serves specific purposes. For example,…

Characterization. "The single most important job your dialogue can do is build character." Sure, you can show the characters in action, describe them, and reveal their thoughts. But speaking is how we really get to know the characters. So you might use dialogue to convince us of your heroine's sophistication. And because dialogue reveals character, you can't afford excess filler. Because those are conventional. They lack character. So your characters need distinct voices.

How do you get good dialogue? Listen! Eavesdrop! Pick out the good dialogue hiding in the middle of real speech. Get rid of the repetitions, stock phrases, and uhm and ohs. Also, pay attention to books and movies. You'll develop your ear for voice. Then go over your own work, and pick out the flat dialogue, and rework it.

Make sure that the character voice is your character's voice, not yours. Try picking out all the line spoken by a single character, and just read those. Check the sentence structure, the word choice, the cadence. Then do the same thing for other characters. See if they sound alike, if they have the same rhythm and flow, or do they have their own unique voices?

Beware of having every line of dialogue be brilliant, original, and witty. You want characters your readers sympathize with, not run away from. Sure, give your readers a chance to catch their breath, lull them before surprise, or just make the characters plausible.

Plotting. Dialogue can advance the plot! Plot twists are often revealed in dialogue. Sometimes blatantly, and sometimes more subtly. Check the effect the conversation is having on your characters. See what they are learning, and what the readers are learning. Are there changes revealed in the dialogue?

As with characterization, every line of dialogue doesn't have to advance the plot. Sometimes, talk is just talk. Also, you don't want your plot to be totally relentless. Give your readers a chance to breathe.

Dave tells us,  "Infusing your dialogue with character will help infuse it with plot… Much of your plot is likely to be linked to character developments. Changes in your characters will be events in your plot. And again, your characters are revealed most effectively through their dialogue."

Exposition. Instead of telling us about things, use dialogue. "Dialogue is an effective way to present information because it makes the exposition of part of the story rather than an impediment to it." Back story! Flashbacks are one way to do it, but… Try having one character tell another character about that important piece of background.

Beware of dialogue scenes whose only purpose is to pass on information. "As you know, Bob…" Or maid and butler scenes are likely to feel artificial. Pay attention to the other uses of the dialogue. Consider interweaving the dialogue with some action by the characters. Make sure your characters react to the story that is being told.

Dave says, "When you're using dialogue for exposition, you must make sure that it is dialogue your characters would actually say in the circumstances. Your expository dialogue must serve characterization and plot purposes, as well."

Characterization, plotting, exposition… "Get everything possible out of your dialogue, and then watch it bring your fiction to life."

There you go. Give your characters something to say, and let what they say show us who they are, what they're doing, and what we all need to know? Sounds interesting…

Want to practice? Take a scene with dialogue that you have written or are working on, and go through it. For each line or interchange in the dialogue, ask yourself how this brings out character, contributes to the plot, or provides important information to the reader and the characters. Ask yourself how that line of dialogue or exchange could be powerpacked with more characterization, plot interaction, or information. Go ahead and make a revised version. See what happens.
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[personal profile] mbarker
 Original Posting April 2, 2018

Writer‘s Digest, September 1990, pages 50-52, had an article by Suzanne von Schussler-Schell all about dialogue. As the subtitle says, “How to sidestep dialogue‘s dead-ends and get the most from this powerful fiction tool.“ Sounds interesting? Well, let’s take a look at what Suzanne has to say.
 
So, Suzanne starts out with a little discussion of dialogue. "Dialogue is super stuff. It can accomplish almost anything narrative can, often with greater immediacy and freshness; it can create mood, describe setting, filling background, reflect theme…" But there are some problems. So let's look at eight different dialogue traps, and how you can avoid them.

1. The ventriloquism trap

Try reading your dialogue without the narrative. Do all your characters sound like? Whoops, the ventriloquist dummies are attacking!

What can you do about it? Develop your characters. Let it influence their speech. You need to get inside their heads, think about motivation, make each of them speak in their own particular way. Distinctive voices should identify who is talking even if you remove the tags.

2. The stereotyping trap

You want your farmers to sound like farmers? That's good, but beware the all-purpose farmer talk. Again, if all of your farmers (or other group) talk the same way… You got a problem.

How do you avoid it? The best way is to eavesdrop on some real farmers. Go listen to how they talk. Yes, there's some common language, but different speakers have different tone, rhythm, sentence structure, and vocabulary.

Be careful that everybody doesn't start sounding like your farmers. The out-of-town detective, the minister, and the girl behind the counter really shouldn't sound just like a farmer.

3. The jargon trap

Whoops. Sometimes when you're trying to avoid ventriloquist dummies and stereotyping, you end up including too much jargon. Yes, a character should include some hints of their occupation and hobbies, but don't overdo it. This can feed stereotypes and mystify the readers.

How do you avoid both of these problems? Well, first give your characters some every day jargon. Occasionally add some esoteric or professional jargon to the dialogue, when you can clarify its meaning pretty simply.

4. The dialect trap

Dialect can be a nice spice for bringing out differences in place, social class, ethnic origin and so forth, but beware of the indecipherable conversation! If there's lots of dialect, maybe because of the setting or characters, don't try to put it all in! Use a few easily understood phrases, a dash of the rhythm and lilt, to give us a taste of the flavor, but don't overdo it.

5. The background trap

Dialogue can be a great shortcut for filling in background and backstory. BUT watch out for "As you know..." or "By the way..." and other runaway torrents of information, often things that the characters would never bother talking about. Make sure the characters are talking to each other, not educating the reader!

6. The tape recorder trap

Real conversation is full of meaningless noise -- uh, um, I mean, you know, and all those other odds and ends. Don't overdo the realism! Sometimes it can be useful, to help with characterization, but you are building an illusion, not a full recording. Think about using major speech mannerisms if you want to make the characters sound hesitant.

7. The perpetual palaver trap

Sometimes as writers, we know we are good at dialogue, so... 6 pages later, all dialogue and gossip, we finally let the reader off? Nope. Pick out what really serves the purpose of the story, and save the extra words for another time. If a conversation needs to run long, put some action or something in the middle. Or do a bit in real time, and then fill in the rest in a flashback of conversation. As to how much dialogue is too much -- it depends. Look at similar books, think about your audience, and check with your beta readers.

8. The Wimbledon trap

Also known as who's talking. Especially when you jump between characters, be careful not to lose your readers. You know who's talking, but they may not. Dialogue tags, action tags, and so forth can help.

Obviously, he said, she said are practically invisible. But they may get boring. You can also identify the speaker by name, in the speech. Action tags, where you give us a little tiny bit of speaker action, are another possibility. Sometimes you can skip the tags, and depend on individual speech patterns. Don't go too far with that. And of course, you can carefully use some substitutions for said. Don't go thesaurus crazy!

There you go. Lots of traps, but dialogue is still a good part of your writing. Just be aware of what you're doing, and try balancing different methods. Use your dialogue to build realism, rhythm, and tension. You'll be glad you did.

Practice? Take some dialogue you've written, or write a stretch of dialogue, and then double check. Ventriloquist dummies, stereotypes, jargon, dialect, background, tape recorder, perpetual palaver, or Wimbledon? Revise, and make us hear those people talking.

Write!
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[personal profile] mbarker
Original Posting Jan. 19, 2018

Writer's Digest, April 1994, had an article by Nancy Kress on pages eight, 10, 11, with the title, "Say What?" The subtitle explains a little bit more, "To make your dialogue sound natural, make it artificial." Nancy starts out by comparing great beauty in art with nature – guess what, art isn't nearly as natural as nature! And dialogue in writing is one of the places where what we write and what we might hear just don't quite line up. In particular, Nancy points to four key differences.

First, good dialogue is artificially concise. Repetition, interruptions, stuttering, almost funny ums and ohs, it all goes away. Written dialogue is edited. The repetitions, side trips, and all that just disappears. "Edited dialogue is… More informative, concise, and detailed than natural speech." It's the way we wish we sounded, not the way we really sound.

But, not too artificial. It needs to convince the reader. Watch out for too stilted (no contractions, too many multisyllable Latin words, and so forth…). Too informative? As you know, dialogue that explains too much is hard to believe. Too concise. Yes, perfect short statements are good for fortune cookies, but not necessarily for dialogue.

Next, good dialogue is emotional. When people are really talking, a lot of it is nonverbal. Tone of voice, inflections, facial expressions, hand gestures, body language, where you're looking and all of that. In writing dialogue, we don't get all of that. You can include a little bit in your action tags and speech tags. But you may need to jazz up the words! Make sure the emotion comes through the talking. A bit theatrical, but… Good dialogue.

Finally, dialogue needs to be individual. These are characters, and you want what they say to reflect them. Yes, a lot of talk is generic. But try to make your written dialogue "differentiate characters and make them individual." As usual, don't overdo this. Sometimes people do just say, "Which way did they go?" But… Check your dialogue. Can you interchange who said it without any problems? Try for diction, rhythm, individual insights.

"Writing dialogue is a balancing act. Good dialogue is artificially concise – but not too concise. It's artificially informative – but not implausibly so. It's consistently interesting – except for the occasional brief break to discuss mundane topics that establish verisimilitude. It's emotional and individual – but not so much of either that it becomes parody. How do you learn this balancing act? The same way you learn everything else about writing – through reading authors you admire, and through practice, practice, practice."

So there you go. If you want to practice, well, take some dialogue and work with it. You can always take some actual speech and transform it into written dialogue for story. Or perhaps take the same exchange, and rewrite it for different characters, different setting, different situations? We often talk about writing sketches as a way to practice writing – you can do dialogue sketches almost anytime, and anywhere.

Just write.
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[personal profile] mbarker
Original Posting May 25, 2017

Writer's Digest, February 2000, on pages 40-42, has an article by David Curran with the title "Step up to Stronger Dialogue." In it, David recommends three exercises to help you learn to write good dialogue. Here we go!

1. One-sided conversations. Start out with a simple one, a one sided conversation. For example, pretend you're eavesdropping on one side of a phone conversation (yes, it could be someone with a cell phone standing in the checkout line in front of you). So, write the monologue without adding any observations about the speaker's thoughts or gestures. Just the conversation. Put in a bit of mystery, why does the speaker react to the other person in a certain way? Maybe build in a little bit of conflict. Work on the voice, so that this person sounds like they have their own way of speaking. Go ahead and free your imagination. Where are you likely to get one-sided conversations? Someone talking to their pet? Someone talking to their computer? Someone talking to the hand? Tell a story, beginning with a little hook, a middle that reveals the story conflict, and an ending. Try several different conversations, and read them to your friends. See how they react!

2. Real conversations. Now, go to a restaurant, food court, bar, someplace that people are talking, and try to write down some real conversations. Record is much as you feel comfortable with. Yes, you may have trouble hearing, the conversations may well be fragments and full of extraneous stuff. But, that's what real conversations are like. The speakers know the context – but a writer has to provide that context. Tone, gesture, facial expressions, all that stuff – the writer has to work around it. Still, you may have found some useful tricks. When you overheard feelings, what gave it away? "Say as little as you need to establish context. The only way to get the hang of this is to practice, and a good place to practice is with two-sided conversations."

3. Two-sided conversations. Find a newspaper with classified ads by men and women seeking mates (yes, you can use the web, too). Now, build some characters. What did they intend to say, what did they reveal that they didn't expect to. Combine the needs, feelings, flaws and so forth to build a character. Feel free to combine ads. Now, with some characters, work on a two-sided conversation. You know the motives: lonely people looking for something. Put that in dialogue. Tell us about these ad-crossed lovers talking to each other. Then, do it again!

So, one-sided conversations, a little research on real conversations, and two-sided conversations out of advertising. Then, have fun. Try mixing it up, perhaps with letters, perhaps with videoconferencing.

"These exercises should help you with more than just good dialogue. You'll also be learning to develop believable characters with unique voices."

There you go. Let the talking begin!


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[personal profile] mbarker
Original Posting March 5, 2017

Writer's Digest October 1995 on pages 35-37, and page 60, have an article by William H. Lovejoy with the title "Creating Action Scenes That Move." The subtitle is "The two worst things that can happen in action scenes are for the events to be unbelievable or to have the action come to a screeching halt. Before your hero takes a step, learn the techniques to keep the action moving."

That sounds exciting, doesn't it? William starts off with two heroes – well, a hero and heroine. The hard-boiled detective is in a fistfight. But, with one punch he knocks out his opponent, and readers just don't believe it. On the other hand, our tired heroine is running through the dark forest, and runs, and runs, and the reader just get bored. So what happened? Well, here are the tips from William.

Get Real. Unless you're writing science fiction and fantasy, you need to obey real physical constraints. Hand-to-hand personal confrontations usually are short. Make sure you remember the physical capabilities of your character. Even the greatest hero, probably gets hurt a little bit. Deal realistically with weapons. Most of us need research.

Get their hearts pumping. Words and pace make speed. Keep it moving. Paragraphs, sentences, words get shorter. Make it faster. Simple words. Read it aloud, and make sure the pace and rate go faster and faster and faster…

Make them talk. Dialogue! You can inject uncertainty, keep the readers aware of what's happening, and dialogue is just more interesting. It needs to sound right.

Use some restraint. You want unusual, one-of-a-kind action scenes. Don't just repeat things. No gratuitous violence, all right. There has to be a reason for an action scene that's violent. "The purpose of the scene must be clear – to evoke a response and readers, to move the plot along, to reveal character traits, or whatever."

Prepare the reader, research the weapons, and pump up the pace! Avoid unbelievable or boring, and make your readers happy!

There we go. An action scene! Let's see. Sports, war, avoiding the runaway sheep, even chopping and dicing vegetables for dinner, there's plenty of action to go around. So if you want to practice, pick your action, lay in a couple or three characters, and... ring the bell, and may the best pepper steak win!

Go ahead. Write my day.
tink


[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original Posting Oct. 14, 2015

Writer's Digest, April 2003, pp. 24-27, had an article by Laurie Rosin with the title 10 Tips for a Stellar Revision. The focus was on 10 basic concepts to help you do revision. While the details are worth reading, here's a short summary of what I thought were the important points.

1. A revision takes as long as it takes. Don't get in a hurry. Relax, take your time, and see what you can learn from the process.
2. Revise toward a marketable length. Especially first-time novelists often write too long, and have trouble revising this huge mass of material. Think about cutting unnecessary material before you polish. Is everything as tight as possible?
3. Torque the power of your scenes. Scenes, characters, settings -- make sure it all works towards your story. Frame your scenes with a quick here's where we are, who's there, how much of a gap from the last scene, who is the point of view and what are they thinking?
4. Begin scenes close to the action. In media res isn't just for openings!
5. Tease the reader forward into the next chapter."Each chapter's conclusion should leave the reader excited, anticipating what might happen next. Good endings, linked to powerful beginnings in the succeeding chapter, keep your audience fully engaged." What is the protagonist planning/worrying about? What is the antagonist doing? Look ahead, but save the full impact for the next scene.
6. Replace discussion with action. Meetings and routine activities are dull. Skip it, and keep your characters in action!
7. Give your antagonist some depth. Bold, intelligent villains make heroes shine! What does he want, why, and what is he willing to do to get there?
8. Make sure your dialogue matters. Characters should talk like themselves, not all the same. Make the dialogue real!
9. Incorporate your research where appropriate. The job is inform and entertain. Help the reader learn something new, give them some fun facts, something interesting.
10. Dramatize, dramatize, dramatize. Make the events immediate and real. Watch for stretches of narrative without dialogue -- you're probably telling! Let the point of view character show us the story, instead of the storyteller.

Okay? So rvise. Revse. Revise!
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting 5 July 2011

The April, 1992, issue of the Writer, had an article on pages 15 to 17 with the title, "Plotting from A to Z" by William F. Nolan, the author of Logan's Run and other books. It starts out...
"Plot has a double purpose in fiction. Actively, is the driving force of any story or novel... Passively, it's the spine of a story, the structure around which the story is told."

"A strong, surprising plot is essential if you are to capture and hold readers. The plot must keep them engaged and draw them deeper and deeper into the narrative."
So the plot's the thing within which we'll capture the readers... With apologies to Shakespeare.
Mulligan stew )
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original Posting 2 May 2011

Fair warning! I found a stack of articles that I had pulled out of Writer's Digest to look at later. Since they are turning brown, it must be later, right? So, without further ado, here's a moldy oldie!

In June 1991, Writer's Digest, pages 37 to 39, had an article by Hans Ostrom. The title is "Eight Opening Options" with two sidebars. One on how to start starting, and one on testing your openings by Susan Ioannou. Let's take a look at them, shall we?
eight openings )
Okay? Here's tink's assignment for you to try. First, take a work-in-progress or a story that you'd like to polish up a bit. Now... pick a number from one to eight? And here's what you've picked:
1. Conflict.
2. Character.
3. Combine conflict and character.
4. Dialogue..
5. Suggestive setting description.
6. Character description.
7. Express a Desire.
8. Frame the Theme.
Your assignment? Take that story and rewrite the beginning to your new style. See how well that works, and consider whether it is an improvement or not on your original opening. For bonus points, look at the list and pick another type of opening -- and rewrite that way, too. If your new version of the opening doesn't work, take some time to look at why and think about what this reveals about this kind of opening and about your story.

So -- openings are just the beginning. But they are important. So take the time to practice different kinds, and make sure that you use the best one for the story you want to tell.

Write?
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original Posting 30 Dec 2010

Over here http://www.writingexcuses.com/2010/12/27/writing-excuses-5-17-dialog-exercises/ they are commenting on submissions for a dialogue exercise. And it's kind of a fun one, so... you might want to try it!

Here's the exercise. It focuses on dialogue, all right? So skip the dialogue tags, the descriptions, the blocking, all of that. Just write some dialogue. Take two distinct personalities and a conflict, and using just dialogue, see how much you can convey.

"What did he say?"
"Weren't you listening? Write something, just using dialogue."
"What about he said -- you know, attributions? Or a little action?"
"No, no, just dialogue. Now, take a minute, figure out what you're going to say, and then start writing."
"Well, if I have to..."

Incidentally, They're Made of Meat over at http://www.terrybisson.com/page6/page6.html is a great example of what can be done with this.

Go ahead! Make your dialogue.
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original Posting 16 July 2009

Writer's Digest, December 2006, pages 91 and 92, have an article by James Scott Bell with the title Fiction: Strengthen Your Scenes. They're also a couple of sidebars for us to look at. Bell is talking about ways to add drama and conflict to the scene. Your characters may be colorful, but they need to be doing something. Here's some suggestions about ways to make the scene (yes, I know that's a dated cliche, but it seemed to fit :-)
  1. Dialogue flow. Try writing the scene only in dialogue. Let it flow, and then look back and see what the scene is about and what your characters may have said that you didn't expect.
  2. Cut or hide exposition. Narrative exposition bloats and chokes good scenes. Put some action into it, let the characters argue, think about other ways to explain things.
  3. Flip the obvious. We all automatically use familiar types. The truck driver is almost always a burly, grizzled man, with a beat-up cap. Try making it a woman, or try putting your truck driver in a suit. Break the stereotypes.
  4. Closed eyes technique. Rich detail is crucial to a vivid physical setting. Close your eyes and imagine the setting. Then write down what you see is if you were a reporter. You can always pull out extra details later.
  5. Hotspot. "Every scene should have that moment or exchange that's the focal point -- the essential part." If it doesn't have a hotspot, can you drop the scene? Usually a hotspot is a line of dialogue or perhaps an action that changes everything or reveals something. To check your hotspot, consider: why is this scene in your story? What does it do for the story? What is the one point in this scene that has to be there? What would you lose if you drop the scene?
Look at the material before and after the hotspot. How much of it can you take out, or can you sharpen it to support the central purpose -- make the hotspot sizzle?

Sidebar number one describes three kinds of scenes.
  • set up scenes provide the necessary background information to set up actions by the characters. These scenes provide motivation.
  • verifying scenes show your characters living -- establishing skills and abilities. These scenes show that characters can do things.
  • flashback scenes take us back and show us past action. Don't overdo it, and make sure the action deserves to be dramatized. Provide adequate transitions into the flashback and back out of it.
Sidebar number two is a table provided by Nancy Kress with quick fixes for weak scenes. Symptom, diagnosis, and cure for six diseases of the scene.
Symptom: scene is too slow getting started
Diagnosis: excess exposition
Cure: get characters on stage and interacting, preferably with conflict

Symptom: scene is too talky
Diagnosis: excess dialogue
Cure: add action tags, gestures, or thoughts. Replace some speech with action.

Symptom: reader can't visualize concrete details
Diagnosis: White room syndrome (blank setting)
Cure: add descriptive details that underscore the mood of the scene

Symptom: boring
Diagnosis: lack of information, no advance in plot
Cure: cut the scene. If necessary, combine some elements in another scene

Symptom: flagging tension
Diagnosis: lack of scene variety, neglected plot
Cure: rearrange scene order [tink suggests you may also want to look at raising the stakes and adding more conflict]

Symptom: scene start strong but fizzles
Diagnosis: misplaced scene climax
Cure: rewrite with emotional high point of scene at end
So there you have it. Some ways to add strength to your scenes, a little bit of classification to help you understand what your scenes are doing for you, and a quick guide to some problems you might have with your scenes.

Exercise? Take your work in progress, and try applying one of the methods that Bell suggests. Or consider your scenes in terms of the three categories, set up, verifying, and flashback. Finally, consider your scenes in terms of the symptoms that Nancy mentions -- do you need to apply first aid?

Write!
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting 11 May 2009

Writer's Digest, October 2006, pages 95 to 96 have an article by Gloria Kempton suggesting that we can start drafting better dialogue by learning how to recognize bad dialogue. The article lists seven common mistakes, along with a sidebar suggesting some ways to create tension in dialogue. Let's start with the seven mistakes:
  1. John-Marsha syndrome. Just to make sure we know who's talking, we start including the characters' names in every line of dialogue. Certainly addressing someone by name gives a certain nuance to the speech, but we don't normally continue doing it in every scrap of dialogue. If you're looking for intensity, consider describing facial expressions or adding some actions.
  2. Adjective and adverb addiction. "Said" is the basic invisible verb for dialogue. Other verbs, along with various adverbs, draw attention to the writing. Action sentences or internal reflection are possible alternatives. Dialogue tags can replace adverbial modification.
  3. Disconnected dialogue. Certainly people who talk past each other, but whenever characters answer questions out of order or ask questions out of the blue, readers can get confused.
  4. As-you-know-Bob rambling. Writers often try to sneak information to the reader in dialogue. Dialogue can be an effective way to reveal background information, and it's certainly more interesting than simple infodumping. But it has to be something that the character would say. Not just words and information that the writer wants to put in their mouth, but something that they would naturally think of and say.
  5. Ho-Hum moments. Just because the characters are talking doesn't mean it's interesting. There needs to be information, tension, suspense -- every line of dialogue should move the story or the scene forward. If it's boring, skip it. Characterization does not justify babbling. Use dialogue to develop plot and theme.
  6. Perfect grammar. Pay attention to how people really talk. Most people don't talk in complete sentences with perfect grammar. Especially when they're excited or upset or whatever. Make your dialogue authentic first.
  7. Redundancy. When the dialogue repeats description or narration around it, it isn't deja vu, it's just redundant. This often happens because we started to write it as narration and then switched to dialogue, or vice versa. Check to see if you're repeating yourself.
So there you go. Overdoing names in dialogue, the dreaded Tom Swifties, dialogue that doesn't make sense, tour guide or narrator dialogue, all the blah that we don't need, perfection, and repeating yourself. Seven bad habits to check in your dialogue.

A good exercise is to grab a chunk of dialogue from the nearest slush pile or work in progress and take a look. Do you see some of these? Can you fix them?

And then there's that sidebar about creating tension with dialogue. Dialogue is the voices of the characters, right? So how do you increase the tension in the interactions of dialogue?
  1. Silence. View point characters can drop out of the conversation and think about what they're saying and feeling. Are they hiding things? Go ahead and let other characters continue with action or dialogue. Incidentally, when another character suddenly goes silent in the middle of the exchange, it's not unusual to wonder just what's going on over there.
  2. Pacing. Especially changing the pace of the dialogue. When speech slows down or speeds up, tension rises. Make sure there's a good reason for the shift in pace.
  3. Suspense. Whenever dialogue plants thoughts or ideas in the reader's mind about future events or situations, you get suspense. And suspense raises the tension, which is good.
  4. Dialogue in scene endings. A line of dialogue at the end of the scene can create tension that makes readers turn pages. It just needs to be open-ended, raising questions that the reader wants answered. Remember that the end of a scene or a chapter is not a place to tie things up -- unless you consider cliffhangers as tying things up?
Think about how you use dialogue, and how your dialogue can create tension. Your characters will thank you.
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting 24 October 1993

In case you're wondering, this is NOT directly relevant to writing. I hope it may provide some background and useful information for us all.

However, romance writers and anyone writing about two people trying to conduct an intimate conversation might find these useful - both as rocks in the path of true love and as a set of approaches you might try to reverse.

Just before this excerpt, Dr. Elgin points out that "CONVERSATIONAL INTIMACY IS LIKE SEXUAL INTIMACY." Men, in short, are reluctant maidens when it comes to conversational intimacy. Her prescription for women who want men to consent to linguistic intimacy is keyed to that metaphor:
  1. Be satisfied with just an intimate sentence or two at first; don't immediately pressure the man for paragraphs.
  2. Don't take off verbally in hot pursuit.
  3.   Always treat a man's attempts at intimate talk seriously and courteously.
  4. Never betray a man's intimate confidence by using the information against him.
  5. Be gentle.
This is an excerpt of p. 260-263 from the book:
GENDERSPEAK: Men, Women, and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
Suzette Haden Elgin, Ph.D.
John Wiley and Sons, Inc. 1993
Dr. Elgin has given permission for me to copy this for our workshop.
------------------------------------------------
Thirteen Ways to Stifle Intimate Conversation

The list below is based on one assembled by Thomas Gordon; I've revised it, added categories, and provided examples of each. Nothing is intrinsically wrong with these language patterns, but they contain boobytraps for the unwary. When they're used as in the examples below, their primary effect - whether their semantic content is positive or negative - is to bring conversation to an abrupt halt. All offer multiple opportunities for violations of this basic rule:

- UNLESS IT IS YOUR GOAL TO CUT OFF COMMUNICATION ABRUPTLY, DON'T SAY THINGS THAT MAKE PEOPLE THINK: "WHAT ON EARTH AM I GOING TO SAY BACK?"

In the examples to follow, unlike my usual practice, I haven't given extra information about intonation. As is true for any utterance of English, these examples could be made harmless by scrupulously careful intonation in a proper context. However, with almost all likely melodies they cut off conversation by making response difficult or impossible.

1. NAMES AND EPITHETS
"You sexist pig!" "Airhead!" "Creep!" "You're a saint!" "You genius!" "You wonderful, generous person!"
2. EVALUATIONS
"You lost your job because you weren't willing to turn in your work on time"
"You're always so good to other people; you never think of yourself at all."
3. DIAGNOSES
"I know why you won't go out with me. It's because I remind you of your mother."
"You're only saying that because you're so tired; you don't really mean it."
"You wouldn't say no if I had a bigger car and more money to spend."
4. DIRECT COMMANDS
"Go take off that awful tie!"
"Don't just throw the tinsel at the tree! Put it on there one strand at a time, carefully!"
"Don't do that! Here, let me do it!"
5. PROPHESIES
"If you marry that woman you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
"You're going to hate yourself in the morning."
6. SERMONS
"It's wicked for you to dress like that. The money you spend on your suits would clothe a large orphanage."
"Because you spend more money than you earn, you are always going to be in debt. Decent people budget. You should lie awake at night and thank Providence that you aren't living in an alley and eating out of a dumpster."
7. INTERROGATIONS
"Why did you do that? What did you have in mind when you decided you were going to behave like that? Why didn't you talk to me about it first? What was going on in your head?"
"What did she say to you? How did she look? Did she look like she was angry or did she just look bored? What kind of expression did she have on her face?"
8. UNSOLICITED ADVICE
"Let me tell you what I'd do if I were you."
"The first thing you have to do is find an apartment. I'll tell you where to look first."
9. HIJACKINGS
"You think you had a bad day? Let me tell you what happened to me today."
"You think you work hard, but you don't know the meaning of the word! I'll tell you about hard work."
"Before you go on, that reminds me of a story I heard this morning."
10. REDUNDANT INFORMATION
"You have long red hair."
"You're very tall."
11. REASSURING SQUELCHES
"You'll get over it; you'll see. A year from now you'll look back on this and laugh about it."
"Just put it out of your mind and don't worry about it anymore. By the end of the week, you won't even remember that it happened."
12. CUTESIPATION
"You're so cute when you're mad!"
"Well, of course I think your little stories are worth reading; they're charming."
"That shirt makes you look tall."
13. CONTRADICTIONS
"You are not hungry. You just finished eating."
"You're not tired. You couldn't be tired."
You can't eliminate these structures from your speech. There are going to be times when you need them, times when they are the proper and appropriate way to communicate. But you can be aware of the hazards they present and use them with special care. It's difficult enough to keep intimate conversation moving without adding these additional roadblocks.

It's important not to fall into the trap of thinking that as long as what you're saying is "a nice thing to say," everything will be all right. Many people who never allow an unkind word to cross their lips are baffled by the efforts others make to avoid conversation with them. It's hard to think of a response to "You're a _pig_! I can't stand the _sight_ of you!" that will allow the conversation to continue. But the same is true of "You're so _brilliant_. I'd give my right arm for a mind like yours - it's a privilege just to be _around_ you!" The speaker may mean that sincerely and deeply; that doesn't make it any better. The listener can't say "Thank you" without appearing conceited. A modest "No, I'm not," will only lead to "Yes, you are!" and another utterance like the first one. There's no way for the conversation to go on after something like that, and the most usual response is an uncomfortable silence while the listener searches for words.
------------------------------------------------
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting 19 March 2009

Random dialogue?

Writer's Digest, January 2006, pages 34 to 37 (and a little bit on page 65) has some suggestions by Michael Levin under the title "12 random (but useful) thoughts about dialogue." For more details, read the original article?
  1. Keep your characters ignorant. Actors and writers sometimes make the mistake of letting characters know what's coming. Sure, as a writer, you know where the plot is going -- but the characters don't. "Even though you know how the scene will end before you start to write it, don't let your characters act or speak as if they know where it's going." Let them be surprised.
  2. Become the character. Put yourself in the character's shoes. Then write the dialogue that they speak.
  3. It's not a transcript. Take your time and pick out the important dialogue. You don't need all of the hemming and hawing that we are likely to do while getting ready.
  4. Make every word count. He uses examples from Amy Tan to show that even short three word quotes can do a lot. Make your words work.
  5. Realistic dialogue involves rising conflict. Lajos Egri describes three kinds of conflict. Nothing happens, or static conflict, is the story that doesn't go anywhere -- and bores readers. Jumping conflict takes us from setup to resolution without any steps in the middle, which may be okay for stage magicians, but is just confusing for readers. Step by step, slowly they turned -- rising conflict -- with a confrontation that moves little by little to the inexorable conclusion. That's what you want in your story, in every scene, and in every bit of dialogue. Levin suggests thinking about dialogue in terms of arguments, which usually start with a tense moment, rise in intensity, and then explode into conflict. So good dialogue is as easy as having an argument with someone.
  6. More on why less is more. Go back and look at a movie or a story that you liked. Usually, the scenes are much shorter and the dialogue less wordy than what you remember.
  7. Writing dialogue is a multi-draft thing. First draft -- get the basic ideas down. Second draft, make it sound the way that character should sound.
  8. Yes, you can use adverbs -- judiciously. Readers don't read. They use your writing as a script to let them play the part of the main character and the other characters. Make sure they understand how to read each line. Usually, the dialogue is clear. If it's not, go ahead and adverb.
  9. Avoid repeating what the reader already knows. When a previous scene shows something, don't have a character repeat it.
  10. Stick to people you know. When you try to make a character from a stereotype -- Southerner, mobster, foreigner, whatever -- you're likely to end up with a stereotype. Use the people you know.
  11. When rewriting dialogue... read it aloud. Read it into a tape recorder and listen to it. Dialogue is best spoken!
  12. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. When you write a great line of dialogue, don't tinker with it just to be tinkering with it. Just because it's familiar to you, doesn't mean it got less good -- it's just that you've read it so many times. Leave it alone.
Some things to think about when working on dialogue. Your assignment? Try putting them to use on your work in progress. Or take a look at dialogue in the book that you enjoy, and see if these principles seem to work.

And of course, write.

Two airplanes that passed in the dark? It doesn't have quite the same romance as ships, now, does it?
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting 8 March 2009

Yakkity-yack

Writer's Digest, April 2006, Fiction Essentials column by James Scott Bell pages 20 and 21 talks about dialogue. It's not just for talking! In the writer's hand, it can set moods, change the pace, and make theme deeper. So how do you make your character's dialogue really work.

First, use the dialogue to set and support the mood. "Dialogue that's consistent with the mood of the novel can help pull readers into emotional moments and deepen the reading experience." Look at the dialogue independently of the action beats and description -- what mood does it set? Now revise so that the tone of the dialogue complements the action.

Second, use dialogue to speed up or slow things down. Short verbal exchanges with few action beats read fast. Use that to speed things up. Or if you want to slow things down, add in action beats, thoughts and reactions, and descriptions. Or of course you can make the dialogue longer. Aunt Sally's rambling version could slow down anything! Just make sure that it's true to the character.

And third, dialogue can reflect the theme. The characters are thinking about things -- and they talk to each other about it. We, the reader, get to think about it too. To get thematic dialogue, take it in three steps. First, as you write the novel, think about the theme that is emerging. Don't try to force one into your novel, just to see what is coming out naturally. Second, let several characters talk to each other about that theme. Go ahead and write too much -- you can always cut the extra dialogue out. And third, edit the dialogue, so that the characters explore and touch on the theme from the edge. Don't let them preach to the readers either.

Dialogue is probably one of the strongest tools in the fiction writer's hands. Think about how you're using it. Add in the mood, pacing, and theme so that your dialogue adds layers to the story. Now that's meaningful dialogue.

Write?
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting 5 January 2009

The Silver Screen

Writer's Digest, June 2005, pages 29 to 31, have an article by Chris Eboch with the title "the Hollywood touch." The question is whether there are some useful techniques that novelists can borrow from screenwriters. Adaptation doesn't have to always go one way. "Screenwriters know a great deal about efficient storytelling -- keeping a plot moving forward, writing snappy dialogue and making characters unique, for example." So what are some guidelines or techniques that can be borrowed?
1. Open Big. Start with a big opening scene -- visuals, color, movement. Action to grab the reader's attention. Something exciting, different, weird. And it needs to be an event that affects the character. Establishing the protagonist role and goals? Sure. The key here is to make the opening grab the reader -- and then don't let go.

2. Scene by scene. "Set high expectations, then satisfy them. Consider each scene in your novel. How can you make it bigger, more dramatic?" What's the worst thing that could happen? That's what you want in your novel. You also want set pieces -- big scenes that the reader remembers. At the same time, you need a good balanced mixture of action and dialogue.

3. Get to the point. Edit. Focus on making the most of your story points, and get rid of flourishes and lazy writing. "Novelists who focus on action over description are a step closer to making their books page - turners.... Make up for the lack of visuals by appealing to all five senses. Just keep the story moving and use short descriptions to advance the plot, not distract from it."
Big openings, drama in every scene, a mixture of action and dialogue, and ruthless editing.

What about an exercise? Take your work in progress, and consider how each scene would be turned into a movie segment. Where would it be shot from (is the point of view clear?) Does it have clear setting and objects, so that the props department can produce it? Does every scene have some good dialogue and action for the characters? Is their motivation clear, so that they can act? Do the rewriting needed by thinking through your story as a movie.

And who knows, you might get your name up in lights!
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original Posting 11 August 2008

From Make a Scene by Jordan Rosenfeld, we're now on Chapter 16: Dialogue Scenes.  And without further ado . . .

Dialogue is a very versatile element in fiction writing, and it's used in most scenes. This chapter talks about scenes that are primarily dialogue. Dialogue scenes usually feel fast to the readers, so they pick up the pace and move the plot forward. You can also use them to build conflict with characters arguing and expressing themselves. You can also build tension with characters struggling for position or caring.

Opening a dialogue scene. Before starting a scene, decide if you're going to use dialogue to convey action or to reveal character, plot, or background information. Don't use dialogue is filler, with characters prattling along. You probably don't want to start in the middle of a conversation, because it's confusing. Instead, use a scenic launch, or narrative, action or character -- then move into dialogue. Try to start by:
  • get the reader settled firmly in the setting to begin
  • start the conversation in the first couple paragraphs
  • make the protagonist an active part of the conversation; don't let them just listen in
  • make sure the reader knows who is talking
  • build the dialogue around conflict and opposition
Dialogue for big revelations. Use dialogue to give the reader information about the plot or characters. Dialogue can show who characters are, reveal effects on other characters, and introduce new plot information. Reveal characters by:
  • show them speaking under pressure or in conflict. Dialogue should not be mundane.
  • use conversational style to reveal true nature
  • express feelings or thoughts about significant events or situations
Always suit your dialogue to the character. Each of them should talk in their own way.

Reveal plot information by:
  • make sure the information is earned. Don't let mysterious strangers reveal important information without a reason. Deus ex machina applies to information, too.
  • show the protagonist's emotional reaction to the new information
  • the greatest emotional impact is in the middle of the scene or at the end.
Make your revelations important, and build into them. Make sure that the revelation has consequences, that the plot and the protagonist change.

Use tension and subtext to make dialogue scenes rich. Build your dialogue around bartering or negotiation. Rosenfeld calls this tug-of-war dialogue. Think of each character asking for something and withholding something at the same time. Different points of view, dynamics of relationships, exchanges of insults or arguments, attempted manipulations or seductions, attempts to convince another character of something, and fending off accusations -- all of these can use tug-of-war dialogue. Even without actual physical movements, this kind of tug-of-war can help make a dialogue scene feel active.

But if people are just volleying words back and forth, you can lose the sense of a meaningful interaction. To keep that, pay attention to subtext. People don't always say what they mean, they withhold information and feelings, and they use language to manipulate each other. So use flashbacks, body language, setting details and objects, symbolic objects, or even avoiding certain topics.

Ending dialogue scenes. So dialogue scenes give the reader more understanding of the characters or of a plot element. Revelations near the beginning of the scene usually mean that the rest of the scene explorers their feelings and reactions. However, an effective approach is to make the revelation near the end of the scene, so the reader rushes into the next scene to find out what happened. If the next scene turns to something else, the reader is left with a mystery, wondering just how the characters will react. So you want to end your dialogue scene with the protagonist:
  • on the final words of a spoken revelation
  • shook up in some way
  • starting an action in response to the revelation
  • starting to reflect on what happened
Rosenfeld suggests that dialogue scenes should:
1. Does your dialogue scene reveal new information about characters or the plot?
2. Does the dialogue feel like action to a reader and add energy to a scene that would otherwise be plodding
3. Does the dialogue scene have enough setting details for foreshadowing, subtext, and an even pace?
4. Does the dialogue reveal plot information in a realistic way, not just a convenient way?
5. Does the dialogue that a character uses reveal intentions?
6. Does the dialogue use opposing forces or a tug-of-war to build tension?
That's what Rosenfeld had to say about dialogue scenes.

So, let's see. What about an assignment? Perhaps the first might be to consider an existing novel and a scene that is largely dialogue that you remember? Perhaps the final scene in many mysteries, where the great detective explains just who done it? How does the author start the scene, and how do they keep us grounded in the scene in the midst of all that flying dialogue? How do they wrap up the scene?

Or take a scene that you've been working on, and consider doing it as a dialogue scene. Does it fit? How does writing it as a dialogue scene help or hinder? Consider replacing the car chase (action!) scene with a dialogue scene -- how does that change the pacing and approach?

Take a look at your story overall. Does it have a dialogue scene in it? Is there a good place for one? What would it do to the structure? Why would you add one -- or take one out and replace it with plain old fisticuffs and other violence?

Go ahead. Consider the advantages and disadvantages of a dialogue scene. Remember the talking heads of TV, and make sure your chatterboxes have at least a sketch of a setting around them. Then let the voices rise, let tempers flare, let the exchange of conversation show us characters engaged with plot.

And don't forget,
write!

When we write, characters talk.

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