[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting: Wed, 4 Jun 1997 22:55:23 EDT

I think I'd call this a ramble? or maybe it's a bramble, a thicket of meaninglessness?

Since it is possible that some of you don't read the weekly FAQ, (I know that it may be hard to believe, but I'm sure there are a few who don't peruse every puerile pucker of that oft-repeated post) allow me to pull this out and post it for your pleasure.

I'm not sure quite what to make of this, but I do like it, I think.

Comments?

tink

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The Springs of Writing

Sometimes, out tramping around on a mountainside, with the crack of a twig underfoot and all the other fine sensual awakening that seems to be part of celebrating the out-of-doors, you may come across a spring. A tiny ripple of water, perhaps not even that so much as a soaking, but a place where the earth lets go of the water again, and it begins.

I love to stop and think about where that little spring is going. The drops of water, seeping out, touching me, and then slowly passing on to...

Sometimes, of course, you'll find larger, clear springs, pushing up forcefully, and sweeping away obstructions.

But no matter where the springs start, after a while the tiny drips and great gushers join, form streams, laughing, chuckling along, feeding the bushes and trees, alive with insects and fish.

And rain falls, adding muddy roils and softer plink-plink-plink touches, criss-crossing, draining tastes of new growth and ancient mold into the mix, wandering here and there...

Sometimes snow melts, or ice CRACKS and shakes, spins, softens, and adds its weight to the rushing waters...

Here a pond collects the tastes of many streams, the runoff of the hills, the silt of fields growing, and provides a place for spirits to cool and calm, listening to the burp of frogs diving into the depths, the soft rustle of grass growing, the quiet of a summer evening...

Down centuries of time, across chasms of cultural division, from momentary leaves of today's crops, the waters roll. Fine streams, heavy flood waters, grinding, bursting, laving and washing the best and the worst...

When the shower touches you, you can put your head down and trudge through the mud, angry at the weather...

Or...

You can lift your face to the wonder, search for the promise of the rainbow, and laugh into the rain, into the thunder, into the lightning

as the waters mix again, meeting, parting, on their way to the ocean of life through the rivers and streams, the dams and meanders, the wandering and late-night tears...

all in the waters of writing.

Whether you want to just wash your hands, or maybe dip your head in and refresh yourself, or even dive in and be baptised into the depths of that life, feel free. And let your own springs gurgle forth, adding that fine clear flavor of yourself to the mix.

The waters will return, in time.

The gentle rains, the fierce riptides of the ocean, the hidden aquafers that wet the footing of all lands...the ebb and flow of waters, the ebb and flow of writing...

and the moon holding sway over all.

A muse of rain, perhaps...
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Tue, 26 May 1998 16:38:10 EDT

Going to take a vacation? Leaving your terminal for some viewing of whatever it is that lies outdoors?

Congratulations! But...

before you run off...

1. Print yourself a copy of this message.

2. Set your mailing list to nomail

3. Put the copy of this message on your terminal...

4. GO! Have fun, dance, eat, drink, feel the solar rays freckle the pale glistening of your epidermal layers...

5. When you get back, take the copy off the terminal. peer at the paper. find the next step.

6. Set your mailing list to mail.

7. Relax. Write us a note about your travels with indigestion, your tete-a-tete with the uncrowned rulers of the world, your little tumble down a rabbit hole into wonderland...

[yes! by taking these simple precautions, you too can avoid the heartbreak of overfilled mailboxes, the agony of bouncing mail, the fear of accidental removal...and make sure that truth, justice, and bad jokes continue to pester you when you return...]

if the gold is at that end of the rainbow, then what's at the other end?
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original Posting: Thu, 1 Sep 1994 18:35:02 JST

FAQ: A Sandcastle for 400 or so

Hope you enjoy Labor Day!

tink
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"Can I borrow your bucket for a minute?"

The white sand shimmers under the sunshine here in cyberspace. It's a little bit damp, just perfect for building sandcastles. Or for laying back and enjoying the bright, warm sun. Or for digging moats, covering toes, or running, running, running down the endless summer of our discontent.

Matter of fact, it's just perfect for whatever project you have in words.

Of course, sometimes your neighbors will have something to say about the shape, the form, the content, the slope of your wall, the holes you forgot to fill, or something else. Sometimes anything else.

But oh, what a wonder when the castles rise!

Sometimes the towers seem to reach to the sky, with a princess silhouetted against the moonlight, giants and ogres stolidly crunching along, and heroes and heroines too few. Sometimes there is just a sandy puddle, with a few cryptic marks around the edges where a prehistoric relic dragged itself momentarily into the air, then vanished again into the safe salty depths.

Most of the time, there is traffic, heavy and light, skidding and throwing plumes of sand this way and that, as the keyboards click and the terminals sweat.

The picnic crowd likes to toss dill pickles, ham, and other little treats around while we're working on those major and minor touches of literary delight. Don't worry, they'll pay attention when your castle goes up, but the snacks in the middle do help keep the fingers working and the brain going during those long, hot afternoons.

Even the occasional fireworks and sprays of foam help make the sandbox a place for everyone.

Just try to keep the sand out of your eyes.

If you visit this sandbox from BITNET, the address is WRITERS@NDSUVM1.BITNET. If you're visiting from the internet, the address is WRITERS@vm1.nodak.edu. [addresses well out of date]

But either way, the sandbox waits for your architectural touch, so grab a shovel, pack your bucket, and start building your dreams.

We're all waiting to see that castle rise here.

"Sure! Can I help?"

Always room for another sandcastle here.

One that only you can write.

So start digging.


And from the earth arose a great shining castle, hulking in the eldritch light, with stained glass windows glowing...

From the water, strange mists and sleek swimming beasts arose and danced in curling spouts, leaping upward from wavetops, skidding toward the land in the surf and spume...

From the air, cool breezes, hot dry Chinooks, and transparent figures of clearest invisible form blew through...

And from the fire, the sand grew into glass bubbles, domes, great shimmering webs reaching into hearts and minds...

As keyboards and terminals joined in the sandbox...

of the writers.

See you there!
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original Posting: Mon, 1 Aug 1994 18:35:02 JST

FAQ: Glimpses of A Writing Convention

"Yuiop!"

The cry starts small, then bounces and grows as they rally, and finally roars, echoing from storefronts and mountainsides, spacecraft and kneeling benches, and other curious locales.

The writers are in town.

And out of town.

And all around the town, wherever keyboard taps cyberspace into terminal networked delirium.

"Qwerty!"

Respond those who feel the earth move, the air flow, the water roll, and the fires glowing.

The muses muse, rationales bemuse, and sparkling wits amuse.

There is a party going on.

And Coven Mint of the party, by the party, and for the party, shall knot poor ice from dessert. Strange knots they be!

Words sluice, punctuation taps and scratches, and messages fly in the wilds of the list.

Oh say can you read, in the massed confusing messages, that our star is still shining, that lights our writing madness? Those broad metaphors and silly japes, through the parries and frustrations, give proof everyday, that writers like to write...

The cheers and jeers of the crowd may seem a bit hard to follow as the poetic brigade lays out its demands, the tale tellers recount their popularity polls, essayists pan for fool's gold and other precious flakes in the midst, and all the folderol fiddles wheee and far. But wait a bit, ask what you will, and lay your best out for the committee of the whole to ponder.

You may be surprised at the response.

For here there be writers. And in that jungle of words, burning bright, who will bind that fearful symmetry of writers and readers, the clawing need to communicate, to turn inner turmoil into measured prose and poem, ringing with the meat and blood of our humanity, burning in the night as a beacon for you...

And when you can, or when you must, put yourself in that arena with a dash of trust--lions and tygers and bears there may appear, but pussycats and teddy bears oft hide behind loud roars and raised claws. The verdict and judgment is--when all the sport is read and done--for life.

Welcome to the writers' convention! Our platform is a soapbox waiting for you to rise to the occasion, our smoke-filled backrooms are open for your breath of fresh air to sweep away the smog, and your word is always good here (even when fictional, faked, rhymed, or otherwise prepared for impersonation--we like characters!).

Have fun!

Have a cigar? How about kissing a few babies?

Hear ye, hear ye, the dishonorable Judge Crit is now reading submissions--get yours in soon.

And don't forget, every convention needs pros, amateurs, filksingers, balloons, razzle-dazzle peddlers and hawkers in the sales rooms, but mostly, quite especially, they need...

You.

So support your WRITERS convention.

Write!
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting: Sat, 2 Jul 1994 18:35:02 JST

FAQ: Pedal Down on the Infohighway

I was rolling along at an easy 40 or 50 Kb per second, thinking about just what the old infohighway had coming up out there in the high-speed lanes--fractal environments dripping down and around your visor, jumpspeed datadumping at 100 Mb or better when the cybercops aren't monitoring, and those huddling melts of mixed infospace where human and AI rarely dare venture--daydreaming about a fast game or two of RPG, maybe a little IRC chatter.. when I caught a datalink reflection and flashed the place I really needed to scramble.

So I backed down, hit the blinker, ignored the tired cursing of the serious infotruckers swerving and dodging down the lines, and took a write. Slid down the lines, slower, slower, and there it was.

The infocrossing known as WRITERS. Coming from BITNET, the roadsigns said WRITERS@NDSUVM1.BITNET. Coming from internet, I know they say WRITERS@vm1.nodak.edu. even if I don't get out that way much. [psst- addresses long out of date!]

Backed it way down, and started looking for an empty slot to fill.

Can't go too fast here, the place is always jammed with words and strings and themes and conceptual gridlocks and dilemmas and all the rest of that runaway vegetation that springs up in the corners and gratings where writers hang out. Keeps your reflexes toned up just watching, and when you're trying to drive, it can be wild.

No matter what you think of the clutter, it's a good place to stop and check your map. I know some people always think their map is tuned into reality, but this is one of the finest places for finding out how far out of touch you've gotten. And it only stings for a while...

It's pretty scenic along this part of the road less taken. Whether you just sit by the side and watch for bumperstickers and traffic jams or go speeding down the passing lane honking your own horn, you'll find plenty to read. Watch for the inforunners breezing along, maybe a Sunday writer wobbling in and out of the traffic, and those serious truckers working their loads. Check out the talegating around here, too.

Say, why do all the infotruckers have MAC written across their foreheads?

This place has some of the best diners with gas to go and all the amenities around, too. 'Course they're all self-serve, so don't go abusing the help or you'll find yourself in a vicious circle. Just help yourself--and give other people a hand when you can, too.

And every bit of it is home-made originals--none of that prepackaged slop from the factory around here. Gives me a shiver sometimes, meeting all those real authors in the virtual like this. And when you serve up your goulash of words, they'll help you spice it to the taste of editors everywhere. Without complaining--too much.

If you're lost, there are backseat drivers who will happily tell you where to go, griping about the way you hold the handle or telling you to brake or speed up. There's a few old coots who hang around and try to show you how to tune up and burn words, though. Sometimes they make sense, sometimes nonsense, so just listen to what helps you, and ignore the rest.

Plenty of hitchhikers around looking for a short ride with you, or even a long one if you'll put up with them. It's all part of the traffic here on the strip, and after watching a while, you'll probably want to do a wheelie or two. Go ahead, just watch for the curves and don't crack up. If you end up in the gutter--you aren't the first.

If you happen to get lost in the interchanges, slow down and pull off for a while. Don't get overheated or take a chance on boiling over, it just isn't worth it. Then when you're ready to go again, signal and move on with the traffic.

There's a lot of construction along this way, and sometimes the road gets awful bumpy. Don't be afraid to point out some of the dips, but watch out for falling stones, wild lightning, and other infotrail hazards.

I always watch for oil slicks and heat mirages here after rain storms. The oil slicks make some of the most beautiful rainbows and sliding colors, and those dancing heat waves hide some of the best illusions of our times.

Watch for your own visions, the little reflections of your headlights or the major lights of our times, and let us know what kind of roadkills you find along the information highway. Heck, we'll even let you spin us a road never taken and guide the whole bunch write off the beaten track over the ruts and byways of your mind.

Fasten your seatbelt! Green light!

*rrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRR*
WRITERS CROSSING AHEAD!

Hey, let's do it in the road!
Come on, come on, just one for the road?
A little intro, a little poem, maybe a short story...
pretty soon you'll get your kicks on WRITERS 66 ...
lots of good intentions around, so this must be the road to...
well, I thought so.
Speed limit 9600 baud, eh?
Roll on little bits... read all about it on the infohighway!
Be reading you on the flipside--we goin' write-write!
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sat, 4 Jun 1994 18:35:03 JST

FAQ: Writhing in the Mists: A Diffident Hello (v.1)

It's been a while, and I'm feeling lazy, so here's a re-run!

Writhing in the Mists: A Diffident Hello
April 1, 1993 (Vers. 1)
mike barker (tinkerer's apprentice)
614 words

Delving in the deeps of the electronic jangle, you've found this. And like others before you, you may wonder just what you've found.

Looking closely, you'll learn this is a mirror. It may be called WRITERS@[bitnet address] or writers@[internet address], but in the mists, the mirror dangles at the end of electronic vines that wrap around the world, thrusting tendrils searching for those the mirror can brighten.

What kind of mirror? Sometimes brassy, sometimes glassy and quicksilver gleaming, but always changing and ever the same, a flowing stream casting reflections across the jangle.

Beware of what you may find here, for the writers' mirror can reflect a terrible swift sword of sight, slicing the wings from angels to make them walk the earth, burning you with a blackened wisp of sad regrets, or bringing life to the diamond heart. Swinging again, you may see moonbeams dancing on elven toes, glimpse the navel of the buddha, feel the poet's wild fire. On another swing, who knows what will look out from that mirror, bringing laughter and fear, heartbreak or drear?

But try the mesmerizing crystal for a while, watch it swing and twist, sway and turn, sooth and burn, and you may learn to crave its oddly comforting swirls and curls dancing in the night.

Add your own trembling dashes to the invigorated bobbing of this mystical mirror and you may find it a doorway, opening again and again into worlds of wandering wonder, blundering banter, tactless technique, even friendship now and then.

Watch as it swings, lightly it sings, sometimes prosaic, sometimes too terrible for human hearts breaking, now there's your face, here comes a race, and there.. a truth you've never dared to show? words your heart had ready to flow? tears and smiles, too many miles yet to go, before you reap the work you seek, yet walking with others is twice as fast as digging alone into the past.

Be aware of the mirror, let it guide you and mind you, but mostly hello, from one tale twister to another.

Hello, writer.

Keep an eye out for yourself in the mirror - you may enjoy what you learn about yourself!
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sat, 2 Apr 1994 18:35:02 JST

FAQ: Up, up, and Away!

Just before true sunrise, the air is still and the light is faint and tricky. The clanks and squeaking sounds of cloth and plastic and metal rubbing and sliding are clear in that pause before the world wakes. Colors jump from the overall grayness as vaguely seen figures bustle around, unrolling fragile skins, bolting odd skeletal frameworks together, yanking cords that make sudden flames roll, puffing shimmering life into the bulging strange mounds that wobble and bounce oddly, waiting for the sun to come.

Then the fleet flounders up, firming, rising suddenly into the sky with a bound as hot air balloons lift themselves into glory.

There a bright red one glistens in the sunshine for a brief moment, then sinks again. Here a dull brown one swells, riding serenely in majestic silent display amongst the flock. Some faster, some slower, some higher, some lower, but all scudding lightly in the morning air.

Perhaps today's ride will be bouncy. Cold air, raindrops, storm tossed currents, even lightning bolts from the blue, all may sometimes make one falter, or even go down despite all the friendly help and advice from other members of the flotilla. Some coast ahead, some lag, but when the evening comes, the talk isn't about who was first or fastest or highest, it's about being there, taking part, enjoying the ride wherever it may have taken us.

Welcome to WRITERS. The balloons are being prepared, the air is still right now, and the sun will rise again soon. If you can, we'd love to have you with us, as we rise again, and go up, up, and away on the winds of words into those places only readers and writers share...

Come take a trip with us? We've got sights to see and places to go, and words that flow and tickle and tease across the thin skins warm and high... to glory we must fly, and soon... come fly with me...

So breath softly in the early morning hush, and wrestle with your undercarriage, but tug the lanyard lustily and let the rising warmth of your own flames fill your fragile skin and lift you into the light, raising you to where the world is serene and wider than your dreams. Don't forget to tell your friends here on WRITERS how you liked the ride, okay, and point out any special sights or wonders you have found as you fly with us today and into the future, bright or dark, together.
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sat, 5 Mar 1994 18:35:02 JST

FAQ: The Wheel of Writers

good luck, writers!

The Wheel of Writers

Yessiree! Step right up and watch the little wheel spin. Around and around she goes and where she'll stop nobody knows. But you can't win unless you have a bet down, so get your bets down now.

That's it, just put yours on black or white, on odds or evens, or pick your lucky numbers and spread your winnings. Every bet is a winner, every time, here in the House of Rising Words, so don't be late, don't hesitate, just take a chance and you'll be great!

Say, if you prefer, try the cards. Five-card stud, Tarot fortunes, joker's wild, what's your pleasure, let's dig for treasure. Sit down, let the house buy you a drink, and play!

One-armed bandits? No, our vice is all done by hand, no mechanical mistakes, no electronic bugging, just human error. Preferred by gamblers of distinction like you every time.

Excuse me? You can see quite easily that there is no physical coercion, no bodily harm, although there may indeed by a slight chance of psychological dependency, of course. Yes, some of our players do seem a bit overextended, and they may skip an occasional meal or even some sleep to keep on playing, but just because they enjoy it is no reason to suggest that this is a drug, please. Why, how many honeymooners do you know that get enough sleep?

So, let me run through the rules real fast, then you settle down to your choice of our games of chance and happenstance. The rules are simple - every post is a gamble, and the house will multiply it and make sure every player gets it. Since many of our players also gamble, you're going to get your initial winnings (you wrote it and took the chance of sending it out - you have already gained!) PLUS those automatic winnings from everyone else's posts. Now, that's a game with a difference - everyone wins, everyone gains, just as long as you post!

Get your words down now, and start raking in those chips! The sooner you play, the more you win!

[the devil made me do it!]

So, the wheel is spinning! Put your words down - I'll bet you've got a winning hand! Even a busted flush wins here, so don't wait for a another minute, get into the game of your choice now!
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting: Sat, 5 Feb 1994 18:35:01 JST

FAQ: The Writer's Secret

The Mohair Rashly lecture on writing? Yes, you have come to the right place. Please go write.

I'm sorry, that was just a little joke. Now, if you will take a seat, the Mohair will explain the secret of writing.

The Writer's Secret

[the house lights dim slowly, then flash to full bright, then flick off. strange curly wiggles of light and pinwheels of color dazzle your eyes. a strange unearthly sound begins somewhere in the glowing darkness. the seat seems to be pushing up and gripping you in a warm familiar way.]

<actually, one of the stagehands is whistling behind the curtain with no sense of melody or tune, but we'll take whatever atmospheric effects we can get>

[the lights rise on stage, revealing a strange little man draped in white cloth staring at his bare feet poking out of the cloth in front of him. after a moment, he looks up and smiles.]

I wonder where I left my socks tonight? I thought I had them on, but it was so dark behind the stage. I must have lost them when I wasn't walking.

<someone in the audience coughs>

Oh! Hello. I almost forgot, you are all here to find the secret of writing, aren't you? If you are looking for the meaning of life lecture, that's down the hall in the padded room.

<a few people mutter and get up, rushing to the other lecture.>

So you are all in the right place now. Good, good.

Let me tell you about yourself. You have searched long and hard, pondering and paying for conferences and workshops and books. Perhaps you have even bought some of my books. If not, please see me after the lecture and I'll tell you where to get them.

But tonight you have come to the place where you will learn the real secret of writing.

You see, once I was like you. I tried exercises, I thought about famous schools that would let me take a test to decide if I could pay for lessons, I read, I complained bitterly that I had a good job and happy life which made it impossible for me to suffer enough to write, I even worried about which paper to write on and all that.

Then, one day, I learned the secret. And now I will tell it to you.

Are you ready?

Of course you are! So let us start.

First I want you to reach around with both hands as if you were going to scratch the back of your head. Yes, do it now.

Now lift the hair on the back of your head. Go ahead and scratch a little if you want to.

Feels good, doesn't it?

Okay, while you have the hair up, I want you to stretch your mind back, to reach back with your nerves and will. Feel the back of your head - from the inside. Let yourself focus on the back of your head.

Now. Open the eye of the writer, hidden in the back of your head!

Did you feel it quiver? Just a little?

You see, the secret of the writer is this third eye, waiting for you to learn to open it. It is not easy. You have all that hair, and the muscles in the back of your head aren't used to opening that sleeping eye, but you can do it. I know you can.

Just stretch, then relax, and try again. Feel the muscles, feel the hidden bulge in the back of your mind, and try to lift those eyelashes you can't see.

If you get the eye of the writer open, even the tiniest little crack, don't be surprised or scared when it shows you something quite different than you have ever seen before. After all, you've never tried to look through the back of your head before, have you?

Once you get even a little glimpse through that eye, you will write. And then take another glance, or even a glare, through that eye and keep writing. What you see through that third eye may startle and shock you, but as long as you keep looking through it, the sights will rush into the back of your mind, bounce around inside, and then come streaming out. Don't stop that flow - keep writing as long as you have the third eye open.

Sometimes you may want to rest the poor aching eyelid in the back of your head, or it may even drop down by itself, blinking as the scene changes, or dazzled by the lights. That's okay - take some time to let your regular eyes see the writing you've done, and squint a bit to get the writing in good shape.

Polish up some of that writing and put it in the mail, because what you have seen with your third eye is never boring, and editors everywhere are waiting to hear about the mystic sightings. Really. In fact, if you do this regularly, they will send you paper marked with our secret mark - look at the pyramid and you will see it.

That's really all there is to it. That is the secret of the writer - opening the third eye hiding in the back of your head and taking a look around the places it shows you. That isn't so hard, is it?

So, right now, before you forget, try again - let your mind reach back, and feel that eyelid rise slowly, just a crack, and the eye in the back of your head foggily focuses on...

What did you see?

Incidentally, what color is your third eye? I can't quite tell from here...

Keep that eye open whenever you can, and you'll learn to see flea circuses dancing on the high wires of spider webs, miles and miles across vast desserts (burp!), and other strange and wonderful places.

Take a moment or two to let your friends on WRITERS know what you see with your third eye - and let people in on the secret of the writer.
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sat, 8 Jan 1994 18:35:03 JST

 FAQ: A Living Tree

[Please feel free to print and keep this, especially anyone new to the list. There is some helpful information. But before we get to the facts...]

Do not adjust your terminal...

you have entered...

THE WRITERS ZONE!

(please adjust your seatbelt now, the trip is about to begin!)

A Living Tree

As mists bubble and thicken, filling your email, if you are lucky and sick, you may be graced with glimpses, tantalizing, incomplete, and partially obscure, of the tree.

Watch for it.

It is an odd tree, multiple trunks thick, twisted, and vanishing into ancient pits of deception, and with branches, so many branches, all kinds and sorts, wrapped here, grafted there, working and jerking all the times and places anyone can dream of and some unimagined.

Those branches are so varied, so laden, so bent, that you know at one glimpse they've come from too many places and times to account. There are thin ones, whipping in non-existent breezes, with light green slivers of leaves shivering, quivering, and dripping. Others thickly poke out, slow growth of decades, almost decadent with age, bearing huge palmate fronds, or waving careful five-pointed outlines, or slowly baring ragged feathery glories of autumn.

Amongst the leaves, if you peek quite cautiously, and the wind teases just right, you may find strange fruits, huge berries, or sometimes popcorn! Go ahead and try that one, watch out for the thorns, but you might have, well it looks like, no I guess it isn't really the fruit of knowledge, just a tart little taste of unwilling extension of belief. Still, those fruits are varied, keep looking and you'll find.

Under the tree, where the passerby walks, is a mulch of drying leaves, thick, absorbent, and rich. For those who may dig in that mulch, they may find poetic whimsies, long tangled tales, and deeper, still deeper, a rich bed of past soils, mixed and enriched with the lighter leaves of today.

And up from that bed, through the roots and the branches, rises a potion quite heady and strong. That sap, driving up, into every branch, distills poisons and brews wines, sugars trunks, and slickens slides of such flowers as the tree sometimes shows.

Here, in one nook somewhat sheltered, out of the furies, yet quivering to their stormy blasts, with some sunshine, some rain, and even some winds, cluster some branches with intertwined twigs. Their leaves have yet to drop to the littered mould below, or to flutter free on the wind startling walkers and chased by snapping dogs. Yet they let each other see some of the patterned smoothness, or the prickly edges, or even the ragged roughness of leaves battered and torn, and in that sharing there is shelter and comfort sometimes from the worst of the dry sunshine or the snap of the lightning.

Where you are, reading this, one branch thrusts up strong. Lean back in the embrace of the tree, little bud, and shake a few leaves in the nook for us to see, to share the triumph of spring growth, the fullness of summer shades, the falling bittersweet red-gold frosts, or even the delicate chill traceries of winter.

And enjoy the fruits, whether true taste of knowledge, sweet grapes of disbelief, or unknown wobbling globe of imaginary bursting joy.

For the tree of the writers always has room for another bud.

This one's on me!

Don't let your leaves disappear in the dark! Stick some out in the sunshine and let us admire the dance of sunshine and shade on your writhing veins and tender green webs, the living words of the tree.

Who knows, we might get a wood nymph to help you...
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sat, 4 Dec 1993 18:35:01 JST

FAQ: 'Twas the Night Before... (Silent Night? NOT!)

It's beginning to look a lot like ...

Hi! Oh, you're here for the holiday play? Sit down, it's starting right now. The old saloon is packed, and here come the words...

'Twas the Night Before... (Silent Night? NOT!)

It was quiet on the net, not a piece of mail in sight, so you prowled through the lists, and you hung your name out there in a North Dakota lodge.

Then you closed your eyes and waited.

And it happened.

Creeping down the keyboard to your PC (Mac, Sun, or other terminal), peeking through the mailings, you couldn't believe your eyes! What a pile of mail had gathered in the twinkling of an eye!

If you squeeze your eyes shut, and blink away the dust, you may think you see a most absurd character at work there, stumbling over his fingers as he sets a pile under the tinsel, whistling half-cracked tunes as he slips messages into your socks and shorts, and laughing quite inanely as he ponders over the words.

Then he turns and looks right at you, and you surely have to say, "Just who are you and why are you handing out mail without pants?"

He grins and chuckles, rubs his belly and wrinkles his face, and then in complete disgrace, he says, "Why, tis plain as the nose on my face, which I very rarely see, that I'm Insane Clause, here with mail for every ghoul and ghoy, just to make writing your joy!"

Then he slaps you on the back, and introduces his elves, brings the reindeer inside for a snack, and sets your mind a whirl.

Then you blink again, press a key or two, and he's gone - but he'll be back!

It certainly wasn't what you might have thought you'd find, but it may be just the thing to keep your brain alive, this list with its Insane Clause, and elves, and trees, and piles of exercises stretching, subs gaily diving, crits scratching itches, fillers gurgling merriment, and all the other fine surprise packages tumbling down the chimney to your electronic home. Don't shut the door, don't go back to bed, just read and enjoy, and...

When you are ready, with or without pants, feeling or romance, give old Clause a rest and tell us of your plants. Sing us of your prose, punctuate us with rhyme, give us of your time. For the fact of the matter is that Insane Clause is in his workshop, fiddling with the plots and pants, trying to cover up the invisible with strings of words and cloth of holes, and he'd dearly appreciate some company.

Join in?

tink - scribe to Insanity!

Jingle bells, jingle bells... oh what words we mock and pun a writing here tonight! writing through the snore, with a pun or two to ignore, over the net we go, writing all the way!

Hey! Grab hold, 'cause its time for hot words roasting in an open plot, and other seasonal variations on a tale! Enjoy yourself, and don't sit under the misty toes of the muse with anybody else but us, anybody else but us... "Bah. Humbug." Not bad, but would you like to elaborate your story a bit, Mr. Scrooge? Go ahead - we're waiting to read you!
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sun, 7 Nov 1993 13:25:21 JST

FAQ: Unmasked on Blacklight Stage

Hello. May I see your ticket? Oh, yes, you've signed up for WRITERS. Well, if this is your first time with them, may I suggest you look at this? And your seat is just through these curtains...

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Unmasked on Blacklight Stage
(A One-Act Play With An All-Star Cast of Bit Players)

[alone and a bit nervous, you push through the black felt curtains and feel your way to a seat in the darkness. you sit down quickly and peer into the darkness, wondering what will happen next. slowly your eyes adjust, and you get the impression there might be a stage somewhere in front of you. on one side, a spotlight flashes on an odd costumed figure...]

Hey! Look at this! Some really weird stuff happens when I stand on my head in the shower. Water gets down my nose.

[the light flicks off, and you shake your head. What does that have to do with... another spotlight flashes on the stage, hitting a white masked figure there.]

When I was sixteen, there were fires in the street and ghosts walking. Not fun, my fellow freaks, but bone-chilling horror for people without skin.

[the light fades again, and you are even more confused. Who are these... then many lights flash and fade, exposing and concealing various figures, faces, and costumes, all weaving a ballet of madness before your eyes...]

Send me a postcard, please?

It's that time of the month, and I WANTA SCREAM!!!!

Hemingway, clearly, is THE author of our times. Still, Melville's prose and Whitman's poetry cannot be ignored. Neither should we turn our noses up at the rich heritage of literature. Instead, we need to mine that ore for as much richness and variety of techniques as we can find. Then we can write true romances of stature.

Hey, has anyone heard from the Black Eye recently?

Here is the story I have been engraving in stone for the last twenty years. Do you have any comments?

[the verbose comments and the dancing lights continue, and you wonder what kind of asylum this is. they look like they're having fun, but it is so confusing and lonely sitting in the dark. Why don't they notice...

YOU!

<a spotlight flashes, then settles on your startled face, bringing tears>]

Hey, writer, this stage is open and waiting for you to put on an act of your own. We can't see you until you post, but don't let that hold you back. Spend a little time thinking about it, then join in.

Try starting with a little INTRO - let us know who is behind the words that will be coming.

Then, you should join in wherever you have something to add. Stories and poetry are always appreciated. Critiques (comments about someone else's writing, the style, the feelings they brought) also are good ways to contribute. You can also join in any of the little exercises, various cooperative forms of writing, and other exchanges of wittiness.

The "small" chatter, the talk of interests and memories and who we are, may not seem important, especially if you are used to classes or workshops where such discussion is frowned on as a "waste of time" or "off the subject." However, it is a good way to practice one style of writing and relax with the members of the list, gives everyone a little more feeling for the person behind the plays wherein to catch the conscience, and can provide critical sparks igniting the muses to a fiery dance. Besides, those small steps are sometimes easier to use to get up on the stage.

Lastly, ask questions. Tell us about your discoveries, from the wonderful new trick for plotting New York Time's Bestsellers to the funny red bugs eating your peppermint plants. And keep posting - it takes time to become known, and the care and feeding of friendships may take even longer.

So, join us in the 365 day a year masquerade ball. Your costume will be hand-crafted by you out of words and wonders that you post, and sometimes it helps to give us a peek behind the draperies (those fright masks and demon faces can be quite a shock!). But don't just sit in the cheap seats unless you want to, because while all the world's a stage, here you have an interested audience - your fellow writers.

[the spotlight fades, but now you know the magic for calling it up again whenever you want. Post. You smile in the darkness, knowing that you too have a place in the fake sun on the blacklight stage called WRITERS. Your email box will rarely be empty again...]

Don't wait for a gold-engraved invitation, the stage manager isn't that organized. This is an amateur, write-your-own-play effort, quite a bit off-Broadway, and we really need audience participation. Grab a mask, throw us a line, and help keep improvisational theatre off the streets and on the computers! This is the dawning of the Age of Escritier...
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sat, 2 Oct 1993 18:00:04 JST

FAQ: First Lines

The poet frowned, fingers posed as words swirled in his mind, almost but not quite right for this part of the glowing vision. Just then, the doorbell rang...

The factory seemed to come alive in the fitful dance of moonbeams through the cloudy overcast. Dark shadows lurked and stretched, making her glance up again and again to be sure the silent machines weren't moving, weren't reaching metallic fingers out to catch her. Then she glanced back...

Every day, the quotes changed. Read and passed by quickly, a ritual of inattention. Then one day, eyes locked to the short saying. The world seemed focused on the brief lines. It was...

A dark and stormy night folded over the tiny figures, exploding out of their inner storms into startled reality. As one angry mouth opened, lightning cracked. As another mumbled and glared, hard driven rain stuttered across them. Then...

The wheat was a golden carpet, embossed patterns revealed by the occasional light wind, the heavy heads glowing in the sunshine with their promise of food. The smell of hot, rich earth and baking yellow stems was a subtle perfume, pulling the farmers to their daily chores, sinking the land in a celebration of growth and peace. Those were golden days...

The Z-nine fighters spread out ahead of the flotilla, exploring and testing for danger with electronic senses. They swept over and past the small asteroid...

She stopped at a small inn below the castle, surprised by the ancient relic set in the foothills. The innkeeper told her it had no name, and suggested that there were far better places for an American tourist, places with guided tours and giftshops. She thought about it for a moment, remembering the crowds and Marley. Then she looked at the rocky pile lit by the evening sun...

(pssst! want to know how these and other stories end? want to write poems and tales of wonder or glee? Stick around. Writers has a place for you...)

First lines to last, rewriting, markets, poetry - put your own work out on display on Writers. We can make beautiful words together!
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sat, 7 Aug 1993 17:57:01 JST

FAQ: Shock Treatment

I'm glad I never claimed to be a medical writer. Still, maybe this'll get some hearts beating...

-------------------------------------
Shock Treatment

The body was still, unmoving on the table under the bright lights. The ER staff seemed to be moving twice as fast in compensation.

"What have we got here, Doctor?"

"OD'd. Full stop. And nothing seems to get him started again."

The traces on the monitors were flat.

"OK, I'll take charge now. Nurse! Yes, you. Quickly, 100 lines of Walt Whitman, right to the heart. Stet!"

"Now, you. Keep those pages of Faulkner turning. Steady, now, feed it to him steady."

"OK, Doctor, if you'd take the P.G. Wodehouse and apply it, we'll see if there's any reaction."

"What about Thurber?"

"Well, some times. Try one, then the other. But I'm afraid..."

The team moved. Still, the traces were flat.

"All right, everyone. I'm going to try one more thing. Clear!"

The body convulsed. The traces all jumped, then settled down.

Then, as everyone watched, one ticked. Another ticked. Bump, whoosh, bump, bump, bump, whoosh.


The young intern shook the older doctor's hand.

"Amazing. Simply amazing. What was that last dosage, Doctor?"

The older doctor leaned forward, letting a nurse wipe his forehead.

"That? Oh. Pure, hard SF. It's always a shock to the system, but I think it did the trick. I was ready to try space opera if that failed..."

The young intern nodded.

"Yes, I've heard of it, but I'd never seen it. Well, now I'm a believer. Uh, what kind of treatment would you prescribe for maintenance?"

The older doctor glanced once at the body, then at the intern.

"Keep him hooked up to WRITERS for a while, at least."

The intern grimaced.

"Yes, he'll have some disorientation, maybe some confusion. But remember, you're dealing with a serious block, and that's the best treatment I know for it."

The intern nodded.

"Well, I suppose. Imagine, a mainstream writer OD'd like that on mass media. Classical, grand writer's block. I know it happens a lot, but I hate to see them wasted like that."

The older doctor squeezed the intern's shoulder.

"Don't worry, you'll learn. Just keep those pages flowing, and .. oh, no T.V. in ICU, ok? When he comes to, would you let me know?"

"Sure, but why?"

"Well, as long as he's here, I've got this great idea for a book..."

If you get blocked, battered, or even bored, try WRITERS!
Recommended by better writing treatment centers everywhere...
--------------------------------------------
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Sat, 10 Jul 1993 17:00:03 JST

FAQ: Golden Eggs of Cyberspace

Chirp, chirp, chirp... no birdbrained jokes, ok? Enjoy...

mike (the mani-faq man...)
--------------------------------------------------------------
Golden Eggs of Cyberspace

In the midst of the untamed wild growth on that strange field known as cyberspace, somewhat shaded, tucked away in a ravine far from the maddened masses that run unchecked elsewhere, sits an incubator.

No ordinary chicks come out of this incubator, no setting hens, no crowing roosters, no pullets gobbling feed to become fat dinners for lazy consumers. No, this incubator houses odd and sometimes frightening forms of dream and nightmare.

From time to time, one will scream, a primal roar of agonized humanity that rings as it breaks through the walls.

Another may chitter and gape, chitter and gape, waiting for some fat little worm to fall into its hungry maw. Snap! Gobble, crunch, and chitter and gape again.

Still others shake wings, newly downy and sleek, stretching and grooming towards the day when they will fly, wobbling and faltering, but at last reaching up into the sky.

Some open lives with a thrust and a twist of scavenging beak, while others sing a song born in primeval dawn, polished by ages, and healing all pain.

The incubator houses eggs, still growing and unopened; odd chicks whose voices, feathers, beaks and claws are working and stretching; older cuckoos, just begging to play; and quite a few others in every stage of growth. Not so quiet, of course, and perhaps there are times when the feathers fly for no reason. Still, it's a home and a place for growing, with warmth when they are cold.

On the side, under a leaf, sits a small, discolored plate. It announces that the incubator is named writers@[ancient address]. Sometimes an egg may smell a little, but there are no bad eggs, because this incubator works with the golden eggs of cyberspace... fledgling writers breaking the shell.

When you're ready, chip your way out of that shell and spread your wings out in the warmth of the incubator. We're waiting for your song.
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original Posting: January, 1995

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First Nut, 1995!

(Hey, glad you could join us here this year. Keep writing!!!!)

Once upon a time...

The page just sort of sits there, waiting for words. Or (since this is the year of our electronic savor 1995) the screen sits there, blank and dark, with the little blobby cursor blinking, winking, waiting for you to tap at the keys, except...

You don't know where to start.

Or perhaps you scribble, secretly, around the crack of midnight or over the yawns of sunrise? Five minutes every day in the bathroom, twenty minutes every noon, and now you've got boxes and boxes of words that no one has ever seen?

Make this your year on your list.

Write here. Write now. And...

(pardon me while I slip into something metaphorical?)

Plant an acorn.

Take that apple core out of the trash and plant a seed for Johnny.

(we'll ignore the fertilizer--there's usually plenty around, no need to hunt for it:-)

Add water, sunshine, and just a touch of exposure--then stand back!

Because you are about to plant a tree, that may grow into a copse, or even a grove, which could turn into a thicket of wildwords, and--in time--a veritable forest of giant red words leaping out of the icy tundra of cyberspace into the glistening future!

(with Firewords at midnight! and light zephyrs of poetic musing in the morn!)

But new beginnings can be worrisome. You may wonder about your plot.

"When should I plow?"
"Should I till it or turn it or what?"
"Does dancing in the light of the full moon with a neighbor really ensure a good harvest, or just a good fence?"
"Is dancing with beagles or butterflies or some other friendly animus necessary for happiness?"

And this is a great place to get some advice on your own little garden.

I know, I know, sometimes we get noisy and seem too wrapped up in patting each other on the back and confused about who's leading the band.

(hah! got you fooled! there isn't a conductor. Some of the folk are playing jazz while others prefer classical rhythm and boos. And the drummers all beat to different marches, ides, and rittles. Really! So sit down and add your own odd notes, grace tones and melodies as the band plays on...)

But when the keyboard hits the end of the cable or the mouse runs off the edge of its cute little pad or even when quill-dipped ink slips slickly across smooth pressed bond paper...

It's words, writing, putting together fiction and poetry--that craft of dreams and art of the blackest inkspots, that mystery of bemused inspiration, that wonder of the storytellers' way which ties these humble (and some not so humble:-) practitioners together. That's why...

When the lightning of fairy poems crackles and the hairs on the back of your neck prickle...

When the explosive crash of ice snapping resounds across ponds and lakes of frozen talents caught by an unreasonable thaw...

When wordy flows remind us of the slow grandeur of the avalanche, the glacier, and the iceberg advancing implacable and awful in all their white glory...

When the dry slither of sunbaked air draws mirages, dustdevils, and Englishmen out in the daylight...

We'll know that you've been here!

Look forward to reading you on the list!

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[Please feel free to print this FAQ and keep a copy for when you have questions! In fact, the author would be pleased if you did that.]

The meat in this sandwich - v. 13, Jan. 1, 1995

[removed to avoid spoilage]
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Should old plot engines be forgot...
And never poetry rhyme...
We'll make the words to ring again...
And sing of old plot lines!

Happy First Nut, 1995!

And look forward to many more words from you!
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting: April 6, 1995

FAQ: Lures and Other Attractions...

For those of you who haven't done this before--welcome! This may look a bit long, but give it a read. Print it out. Keep a copy around. Go on, I want you to do it. Okay?

Once again, it's time for that ever unpopular distraction, the irregularly appearing Frequently Asked Questions! So, let's get on with the show!

tink
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Writers On Parade

and in the circle, where the dust settles slowly after the pounding hooves of the stallions and the huge shoes of the buffoons have plodded past...

darkness falls.

then a faint glimmer rises...and a voice cries out!

who are you what are you why do you
ask
who am I what am I why do I
ask

the mirror sings gently in the clearing, calling sweetly for you to come near, to look in, to see...

the spotlight flashes down. scintillating reflections fill the tent, turning the greying canvas into that truest of fairylands, the memories of youth, where...
 
you step into a web, spun and laid so carefully--with a touch of craft, a dose of art, a dash of animal cunning, and a generous helping of decei...

[enough! stop the verbal pyrotechnics, this is supposed to answer questions, not raise the dread...]

(oh. okay! ask away!)

> who? <

simply you.

> what? <

simply writing.

> where? <

I suppose you think that's a simple question? Well, the list address is WRITERS@[old address]. But the writing goes on nearly everywhere, and the reading! Round the world, south and north, west and east and west again, probably in places never meant for human tears to flow...

actually, of course, we can't take any responsibility for limiting the whole shebang. it sort of goes wherever the imagination wanders, and that goes pretty darn far. take my word for it, okay?

> when? <

When do you think? NOW! Today! Well, tomorrow, too, but mostly when the keyboard hits the screen, you know? Pack it down a bit, tidy up the loose edges, post and be damned!

> why? <

(hardly a question you'd let a stranger answer, is it?)

[come on, don't get coy now!]

(well, if you insist...)

> I repeat--why? <

why not?

[boo!]

because it's there?

[hiss!]

because we care?

[third time's usually the charm--I suppose we'll let it pass...]

> and, last, but not least, how? <

HOW?

with words, punctuation, rhythm, roll, maybe some sprigs of rhyme, mortar of logic and bricks of purest gold imagery (unless you don't believe in imagery, of course, in which case you can use adobe:-)

shucks, you put what you like in, mix it up, hash and dash, and before you know it, there'll be a castle of irony there by and by, or a little sugar shack of love, or maybe even a towering metropolitan operetta just made for a cast of a thousands...

So, did that answer all your questions?

okay. you still want to know how things work. read on...
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[Please feel free to print this FAQ and keep a copy for when you have questions! In fact, the author would be pleased if you did that.]

The meat in this sandwich - v. 15, April 5, 1995

[removed to avoid confusion]
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sigh. oh, that was booring! educational, perhaps, but booring!

but, look, here comes the ringmaster again! and there...there's something stirring behind the curtains! and up in the high trapeze, isn't that someone moving?

Listen to the calliope starting to toot!

LOOK! Here they come, WRITERS ON PARADE!

A hundred and one keyboards led the big parade,
with a hundred and two fountain pens right behind,
they were followed by rows and rows of the finest alphabets,
and the climax was a total surprise!

Stand Up and Sing Along!

[now doesn't that answer your questions?]

join in on the beat of a different drummer...
keyboard thumping and cliffs ahanging!

*you gotta believe!*
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting: Mon, 3 Jul 1995 22:45:49 EDT

FAQ: Firewords and Revolutions

[welcome, one and all...before I get down to drudgery, let me invoke a bit of the magic of words, just for fun. I'll try to avoid grinding salt or dipping water, though... :-]

Hi. Glad you could make it. Why don't you sit down, and we can talk a little about this place.

[that chair? well, okay, it's not an ordinary chair. a little electricity, a few pixels, and a dash of imagination. Not bad, eh?]

By the way, what do you think of the place?

Oh, no, that's okay. I can understand that you might want to hear some of my ideas about it first. Let's see...

I suppose I might call it a bar apres les workshop, a theater mostly absurd, a mere reflection in the midst of the cyberspatial jungle--almost any of those might be a place to start. But they're not quite right, are they?

[back to basics?]

I guess at one level it's just a mailing list. You send your message to WRITERS@[old address], it bounces around in the gears, and copies are
sent to at least 450 places. Simple. Just like a hundred other lists.

[She could have posted to any other list, but she posted to mine...sorry, that's another story]

At another level, it's a kind of community. Many lists form such a group, with some well-known characters pontificating on anything and everything that strikes their interest. In some places newcomers are bashed and beaten severely if they dare to express something different from the prevailing blasts of hot air--and that is a shame, because such groups all too easily become sour and strange beds of inbred stagnation, no matter how loudly they proclaim their doctrines.

[be ye a star-bellied sneetch or be ye not? declare yourself, so that we may smite you if you be different...]

So, what do you think about those?

Oh, sure, well, yes. trite, but true. So...

You're right, the list really isn't a thing or an object. It's more like a way--kind of a path. Today, maybe, there's a pile of animal excrement that you have to shovel out of your way, looking for anything that might be buried in the muck. Then another day revels with displays of fine worked words and braids of great artistry and talent. And, of course, there are all the days in the muddle, with some gems, some flames, and a great deal of chatter and patter...so you walk along, watching where you step, and enjoy the scenery, eh?

[walk this sway, my star? and swing low croons of delight, fantasy?...]

On the Fourth of July--Independence Day in the United States--I suppose I could appeal to firewords, patriots bleeding on oaks, and such. Take a stand on the flag, and see who salutes it?

[oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave? over the land of the free and the home of the brave...Play BALL!]

Okay, you've been patient. Listen, lean over here and I'll tell you the truth. I'll just whisper it in your ear, just between you and I, okay?

Writers is...

[hey, is someone else listening? get out of here, this is just between my buddy and me, okay? private, you know?

sorry about that. I hate eavesdroppers, don't you? so, let me see...oh, yeah, writers...]

well, it's real simple. the truth is writers is whatever you make of it.

So write soon--and write here on your list.

and you thought it was going to be a surprise, didn't you? thought I'd have the magic hidden truth of the ages locked in my grimy little keyboard?

actually, you do.

let it out.

[O say, can you see, by your login's early light,
What so proudly we posted at our screens' last gleaming?
Those broad jokes and bright tears, thro' the cyberspatial night,
on the terminals we watch'd, were so constantly streaming?...]

Put your words where your fingers are, and I'm willing to bet we can make a revolution happen--or at least get someone to read between the lines...

Viva Writers!

The unending revolutionary party!
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[Please feel free to print this FAQ and keep a copy for when you have questions! In fact, the author would be pleased if you did that.]

The meat in this sandwich - v. 17, July 4, 1995

[chopped out for safety]
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[you say you want a revolution,
well, you know, it all begins with you...]

open a vein--blood!
one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration--sweat!
and
something is rotten in Denmark...a tragedy--tears!

(pass the vampires, skip the deodorant, and don't spare the tissues!
full text ahead!)

if we don't write together, we shall assuredly rot separately!

It's your list--write on, writer!
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[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Thu, 3 Aug 1995 14:46:24 EDT

[for those who haven't had the pleasure before--first, a few words from me. then the answers you might have thought you would find here. and, if we're lucky, something to end it all...with a BANG!]

the smoke hovers. your eyes sting.

the ancient figure that ushered you into this strange cavern of shadows seems to have vanished while you were blinking.

and...

in the east, sunrise blares up from the darkened hulks of sleeping mammoths and other detritus of the city. streaks slide in and up, widen, and slowly feed blood into the dark sky, beating it into blue life for another day.

in the west, a hungry thunderstorm slavers and scratches across the quivering backs of foothills. from time to time, it roars out a challenge to the world, afraid of nothing and showing it. do not tease it, for it is cornered and sorely fearful, and its bite is worse than its bark.

in the north, the frozen wastes quietly snore their way into crystalline dreams of glory. They glint, remembering the ancient days when ice gripped the wide spaces to the south in a clean white glove of tender glacial calm. They crackle in the cold air, as ears ache and noses drip, with sympathy for the poor enslaved relatives forced into cubes by human technology. They snort, nightmares recurring, as they think of being dunked in soda or alcohol at the hands of a human. Imagine! melting, melting, turning into mere water, just for human tastes.

in the south, outlaws cuss, horses rear, and other quaint relics of a mythical past fan their six-guns and stand tall, no matter how short they may be...

all this, while in the mystical write direction, words tumble and shimmer, coating ideas with fractal colors and incoherence, cracked! and limited by punctuation, mere passing letters on the river of ink...

in the center, spinning slowly inside a tangled web of grammar, lies...

[oh, heck, let me put down my tropes and yack at you.

this is writers. glad you could drop by. feel free to take part in the continuing mailstorm, and don't feel too surprised if things aren't exactly what you expected. just keep on writing, keep on reading, and you may be surprised to find that while it isn't what you thought you wanted, it may be exactly what you needed...:-]

and with a flashing clash of ? and !, he brought the wild sentence to a .

and there was a submission:

the beginning.
by a. writer

(next, your words, please?...yes, fill in the blank and send it soon!)

tink
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[Please feel free to print this FAQ and keep a copy for when you have questions! In fact, the author would be pleased if you did that.]

The meat in this sandwich - v. 17, July 4, 1995

[long out out of warranty, and so removed]
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the end with a bang?

well, ignoring the bad jokes which the phrase may suggest, let me recommend:

Write until it hurts.
Then write about the hurting.
Submit, and submit again.
And bang!

they sold happily ever after...

that's it!
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
original posting: Fri, 1 Dec 1995 12:54:19 EST

FAQ: Somewhere Near The Dudley Do Write Inn, (rev. 8)

walking down memory lane, I turned into this place in the moonlight...
thought some of you might enjoy taking a stroll with me.

[for those who wonder what the heck this is, keep reading...]

tink
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Somewhere Near The Dudley Do Write Inn,
On a Dark and Stormy Night
Nov. 28, 1995 (rev. 8)

You look a little lost, so let me introduce you to the place. It can be a mite confusing at first.

What is this? Well, let me invite you into the WRITERS Saloon, part time grill, and (sometimes) font for libations (all kinds welcome). Some people think of this as the bar for after the workshop, which isn't a bad way to describe it.

Don't you go listening to those rumors about us being a front for liberations, we just like candelabra on our piano now and then. Nothing to do with libertines, fraternizations, and eggheads, really.

I notice you're admiring that bar. Let me tell you, it's pretty special. Starts at WRITERS@[odd address], also called writers@[another address], but the bar (whether you're looking for drinking, ballet, or judgment) stretches around the world with plenty of odd kinks and twists. You can get caught in those angles in no time.

The place is open for business any time. Serves stories, poetry, essays, and those big bowls of chatter for your pleasure. If you don't see what you like, feel free to whip some up and set it out on the bar for everybody to enjoy. Don't let the comments about seasoning get to you, everyone seems to have their own notions about the best way to get the taste right. Try some of the bubbly humor or those dark poetics and relax with the folks.

Darn! Oh, not you. Someone stuck some of their gum up under the edge of the bar here. Just a minute, I got to get that out before it gets hard. That stuff seems to turn up everywhere.

Oh, now that's really pretty disgusting. Someone left their ear under here. Those artists!

Where were we? Oh, if you like gambling, try the Dare. Best game in town, I think. Simple, too, like drinking a shotglass of beer every minute. Just write a new story every week and send them all out to the magazines. Ask around, someone can tell you all about it.

There's usually a Quote Of The Day going on, and some of the folks toss in a game of words now and then. Some of the exercises are good ways to stretch your writing, too.

Aside from that, there's a fair amount of friendly talk, sometimes making it hard for your order to get through. But be patient, we will get around to you in time. If you get in a hurry, help us out.

Let's see. There's lots of dark corners, and always an empty seat for another lurker. So if that's what you want to do, set down, take a sip from the pop bubbling around or fill your plate at the smorgasbord of literate delights and relax for a while, watch the show.

If you get to feeling rowdy, go ahead and take a swing. Fair warning, plenty of these folks carry loaded words, so you may find yourself looking down a double-barreled thesaurus full of words. Some of the folks also like to dance, though, and you may get invited onto the floor. Can't tell until you try, and even then you may not be sure.

Oh, if you get into a real knock-down drag-'em-out fight, please take it outside. If you've got some real fancy wordwork, we might all watch for a while, but don't just keep on wasting everyone's time. Take it out in the alleys, and let us know how it comes out.

Whoops! Turn your head a little, that's it, there you are. Got to watch out for that mirror, it's a specialty of the place. Liable to show you almost anything. Fellow that made it, let me think, oh, yeah, Marlin, British fellow, I think, he said it's just like those ones they had way back in Greece and Rome, maybe before that, but he added in a lot of fancy new stuff. Sometimes you can see forever in it, sometimes just the back of your head... Takes some getting used to, but then you start to like seeing yourself in new ways. Bet you never knew about that little extra something back there on your neck, now did you?

If you get curious about something, ask around, and someone will usually help you out. Friendly bunch, even if they don't have a lot of spare time. They're all writers, you know, just like you, so don't yell at them about not doing something until you've tried doing it yourself. I mean, look at who has to sweep up - and I'm not getting paid for it, either.

Who am I? I run the popcorn, peanuts, and candy concession out at the east end of the bar, near Ha'va'd. Got a special on bubble gum this week, if you want some. I'll help pop your bubble, too. Just call me tink.

Okay, I'm going to put away the broom and leave you alone out here for a while. Whenever you're ready, step up to the bar or kick off your shoes and jump on the dance floor and show the folks your stuff.

They'll be looking for it. Just remember the key - write and write and write and...

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[Please feel free to print this FAQ and keep a copy for when you have questions! In fact, the author would be pleased if you did that.]

The meat in this sandwich - v. 18, Nov. 28, 1995

[removed because it is way past the use by date]
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You know, I think that storm's clearing up. Maybe you can find what you're looking for, or we can see you, dancing by the light of the moon at the Saloon... Won't you come out tonight?
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