FAQ: The Spirit Guide To Misdirection

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

original posting: Thu, 3 Aug 1995 14:46:24 EDT

[for those who haven't had the pleasure before--first, a few words from me. then the answers you might have thought you would find here. and, if we're lucky, something to end it all...with a BANG!]

the smoke hovers. your eyes sting.

the ancient figure that ushered you into this strange cavern of shadows seems to have vanished while you were blinking.

and...

in the east, sunrise blares up from the darkened hulks of sleeping mammoths and other detritus of the city. streaks slide in and up, widen, and slowly feed blood into the dark sky, beating it into blue life for another day.

in the west, a hungry thunderstorm slavers and scratches across the quivering backs of foothills. from time to time, it roars out a challenge to the world, afraid of nothing and showing it. do not tease it, for it is cornered and sorely fearful, and its bite is worse than its bark.

in the north, the frozen wastes quietly snore their way into crystalline dreams of glory. They glint, remembering the ancient days when ice gripped the wide spaces to the south in a clean white glove of tender glacial calm. They crackle in the cold air, as ears ache and noses drip, with sympathy for the poor enslaved relatives forced into cubes by human technology. They snort, nightmares recurring, as they think of being dunked in soda or alcohol at the hands of a human. Imagine! melting, melting, turning into mere water, just for human tastes.

in the south, outlaws cuss, horses rear, and other quaint relics of a mythical past fan their six-guns and stand tall, no matter how short they may be...

all this, while in the mystical write direction, words tumble and shimmer, coating ideas with fractal colors and incoherence, cracked! and limited by punctuation, mere passing letters on the river of ink...

in the center, spinning slowly inside a tangled web of grammar, lies...

[oh, heck, let me put down my tropes and yack at you.

this is writers. glad you could drop by. feel free to take part in the continuing mailstorm, and don't feel too surprised if things aren't exactly what you expected. just keep on writing, keep on reading, and you may be surprised to find that while it isn't what you thought you wanted, it may be exactly what you needed...:-]

and with a flashing clash of ? and !, he brought the wild sentence to a .

and there was a submission:

the beginning.
by a. writer

(next, your words, please?...yes, fill in the blank and send it soon!)

tink
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[Please feel free to print this FAQ and keep a copy for when you have questions! In fact, the author would be pleased if you did that.]

The meat in this sandwich - v. 17, July 4, 1995

[long out out of warranty, and so removed]
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the end with a bang?

well, ignoring the bad jokes which the phrase may suggest, let me recommend:

Write until it hurts.
Then write about the hurting.
Submit, and submit again.
And bang!

they sold happily ever after...

that's it!