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mbarker Original Posting April 2, 2018
Writer‘s Digest, September 1990, pages 50-52, had an article by Suzanne von Schussler-Schell all about dialogue. As the subtitle says, “How to sidestep dialogue‘s dead-ends and get the most from this powerful fiction tool.“ Sounds interesting? Well, let’s take a look at what Suzanne has to say.
So, Suzanne starts out with a little discussion of dialogue. "Dialogue is super stuff. It can accomplish almost anything narrative can, often with greater immediacy and freshness; it can create mood, describe setting, filling background, reflect theme…" But there are some problems. So let's look at eight different dialogue traps, and how you can avoid them.
1. The ventriloquism trap
Try reading your dialogue without the narrative. Do all your characters sound like? Whoops, the ventriloquist dummies are attacking!
What can you do about it? Develop your characters. Let it influence their speech. You need to get inside their heads, think about motivation, make each of them speak in their own particular way. Distinctive voices should identify who is talking even if you remove the tags.
2. The stereotyping trap
You want your farmers to sound like farmers? That's good, but beware the all-purpose farmer talk. Again, if all of your farmers (or other group) talk the same way… You got a problem.
How do you avoid it? The best way is to eavesdrop on some real farmers. Go listen to how they talk. Yes, there's some common language, but different speakers have different tone, rhythm, sentence structure, and vocabulary.
Be careful that everybody doesn't start sounding like your farmers. The out-of-town detective, the minister, and the girl behind the counter really shouldn't sound just like a farmer.
3. The jargon trap
Whoops. Sometimes when you're trying to avoid ventriloquist dummies and stereotyping, you end up including too much jargon. Yes, a character should include some hints of their occupation and hobbies, but don't overdo it. This can feed stereotypes and mystify the readers.
How do you avoid both of these problems? Well, first give your characters some every day jargon. Occasionally add some esoteric or professional jargon to the dialogue, when you can clarify its meaning pretty simply.
4. The dialect trap
Dialect can be a nice spice for bringing out differences in place, social class, ethnic origin and so forth, but beware of the indecipherable conversation! If there's lots of dialect, maybe because of the setting or characters, don't try to put it all in! Use a few easily understood phrases, a dash of the rhythm and lilt, to give us a taste of the flavor, but don't overdo it.
5. The background trap
Dialogue can be a great shortcut for filling in background and backstory. BUT watch out for "As you know..." or "By the way..." and other runaway torrents of information, often things that the characters would never bother talking about. Make sure the characters are talking to each other, not educating the reader!
6. The tape recorder trap
Real conversation is full of meaningless noise -- uh, um, I mean, you know, and all those other odds and ends. Don't overdo the realism! Sometimes it can be useful, to help with characterization, but you are building an illusion, not a full recording. Think about using major speech mannerisms if you want to make the characters sound hesitant.
7. The perpetual palaver trap
Sometimes as writers, we know we are good at dialogue, so... 6 pages later, all dialogue and gossip, we finally let the reader off? Nope. Pick out what really serves the purpose of the story, and save the extra words for another time. If a conversation needs to run long, put some action or something in the middle. Or do a bit in real time, and then fill in the rest in a flashback of conversation. As to how much dialogue is too much -- it depends. Look at similar books, think about your audience, and check with your beta readers.
8. The Wimbledon trap
Also known as who's talking. Especially when you jump between characters, be careful not to lose your readers. You know who's talking, but they may not. Dialogue tags, action tags, and so forth can help.
Obviously, he said, she said are practically invisible. But they may get boring. You can also identify the speaker by name, in the speech. Action tags, where you give us a little tiny bit of speaker action, are another possibility. Sometimes you can skip the tags, and depend on individual speech patterns. Don't go too far with that. And of course, you can carefully use some substitutions for said. Don't go thesaurus crazy!
There you go. Lots of traps, but dialogue is still a good part of your writing. Just be aware of what you're doing, and try balancing different methods. Use your dialogue to build realism, rhythm, and tension. You'll be glad you did.
Practice? Take some dialogue you've written, or write a stretch of dialogue, and then double check. Ventriloquist dummies, stereotypes, jargon, dialect, background, tape recorder, perpetual palaver, or Wimbledon? Revise, and make us hear those people talking.
Write!
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