[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting 3 August 1994

[just for clarification--I started to write this about July 14th. I don't even remember what the point of the argument then was, but it may still be topical, current, and not totally out of date...]

Notes on Flame Bores...
or:
How to Waste Bandwidth and Irritate Everyone

On the networks, flame baiting (posting something deliberately provocative) and flame wars are often dismissed, ridiculed, and prohibited--and far too common.

There is an underlying cycle in these cataclysmic amusements that seems to occur here (also on other network groups, but we're mostly interested in this group). This cycle runs something like:

1. Many, many submissions, crits, and other "writerly" pieces flying (this seems to be a precondition)

2. Someone posts something--a bit provocative, a bit witless, or something. (Note that this often is a posting which would pass by without comment or with very little notice on any other day of the year)

3. For some reason (often inexplicable), someone else responds with a touch of acidity or bitterness. Not especially harsh, but perhaps a bit stronger than the provocation seems to require. Often the response is fired off rapidly after writing it, without much consideration to toning down the irritation.

4. The world goes nuts. Personal attacks, grandstanding, sweeping generalizations, and all the other fallacies and befuddlements come whooshing out of whatever closet they normally are locked in. This is the classic "flame bore" syndrome seen on so many lists.

[This is usually the point where we can really identify the original post as "flame bait." In many cases, it is really a pretty innocent posting--somehow the timing, situation, and other factors have turned a minor irritant into a major trigger.]

5. [patent-pending step found here on WRITERS] Humorous seltzer bottles, laborious sandtraps of illogical analogies, and other patent-pending methods of extinguishing the blazes (or at least burying them under words) are deployed by those members of the list who manage to avoid falling under the influence of the expanding whirlpool of emotive distress. This is relatively unique on the networks. It works surprisingly well--most of our blazes get damped down in a very short time compared to some of the hotheaded conflagrations visible on other lists. Typically avoids the worst of number 6...

6. [common result on many lists] At this point, there is often a slide into flaming exits, calls to "true writers" for some kind of crusade, and other diversionary hazards. Very dangerous, although sometimes the explosive effects do disperse the original minor flickers at the expense of more major damages. (There is a certain grim irony in this step, as step one almost ensures that the "flame bore" starts as a very minor part of current postings).

Not particularly amusing, but I do see this repeated cycle in postings on the list.

My advice to everyone: Hang on when you see one starting and (as far as possible) ignore the flaming bores. Do watch for the occasional sparkling bit of writing or other wonderful fireworks display touched off by the flaming bores, but be careful playing with the embers, as they may burn your fingers.
[identity profile] mbarker.livejournal.com
Original posting 24 June 1994

[carping at the flood of inanity? tis unlike thee to cast stones while fishing, but perhaps the pain of the hook will be dulled by the tasty weight of weaseling words? onward, then, and keep thy line taut, but pray avoid tautology lest none be taught...]

small points (though none too short):

1. Consider your readers. (for those searching for the mystical magical secret of writing, there it is. have at it!)

2. Every message has a cost. Try to make sure your content or your style, preferably both, are worth (your readers) while and smile.

(for the mathematically desperate - multiply the value of your content times the wit of your words, then add bonus points for editing, revision, and thoughtful pondering before posting. if the result is great, don't hesitate. if not so fine, wait against a reputation lost, a soul hurt, and other poisoned words of vile repute.)

potentially pretentious slogans (for the sloganly...)
Time and taste wait for good posting...
I shall post no words before I've refined?
If you can't write anything good, don't spread it around.
(and other foolish sprayings of gelded words...:-)
3. Context lost is not paradise lost - but neither should one load the plate with fat and hope no one notices how small the shred of meat hiding therein. I.e., make sure your reader knows what you are talking about, but trim the extra weight of older words to what is needed...

(five minutes of your editing means 400 people don't have to wade through those missing words - and displays your points most attractively! [and we all adore admiring points?])

3. Short retorts must wait for your finest careful scribing, lest they be mere puffs of noise. Often enough, a bundle of thin reeds provides a better feast for toilers than those tossed one by one unheeded in the wind.

4. He who speaks least often is heard most clearly, and fewer postings let your readers ponder harder on the fine and wondrous writing that expresses deep and careful thinking. Besides, it leaves more time for drinking from the other wells of wisdom, wit, and wonder. Or just for beer, coffee, or ups and downs of your selection.

(again, for the mathematically inept - the more you babble, the less the impact of each one. Consider making each posting a masterstroke of your writerly craft and art. You may post less, but think of the delight we'll all find in seeing your true abilities shining.)

[enough! perhaps too much... let me recommend a reading of Strunk and White's little book, and then to read, for in those strange postings, there must be a dream or two about to awake...]

for those of you who may not have your copy of the little book handy...
  1. Place yourself in the background
  2. Write in a way that comes naturally
  3. Work from a suitable design
  4. Write with nouns and verbs
  5. Revise and rewrite
  6. Do not overwrite
  7. Do not overstate
  8. Avoid the use of qualifiers
  9. Do not affect a breezy manner
  10. Use orthodox spelling
  11. Do not explain too much
  12. Do not construct awkward adverbs
  13. Make sure the reader knows who is speaking
  14. Avoid fancy words
  15. Do not use dialect unless your ear is good
  16. Be clear
  17. Do not inject opinion
  18. Use figures of speech sparingly
  19. Do not take shortcuts at the cost of clarity
  20. Avoid foreign languages
  21. Prefer the standard to the offbeat
guilty! guilty, and guilty again.

but for my last request, may I have another fine goulash of galumphery and fiddlesticks from the WRITERS list?

<off with his head!>
tink
     ....
        ....
            t
ink lost it

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