TECH: Metaphors

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Original Posting 31 Dec 2009

Writers Digest, February 2008, pages 79 to 80 has an article by Steve Almond with the title, "Master Your Metaphors." Steve doesn't seem to like metaphors very much, so let's look at what he's got to say.

He starts out by defining metaphors -- direct comparison of two seemingly unrelated subjects. Not to be confused with simile, which makes the comparison explicit by adding in "like" or "as."

The reason for using metaphors is to make the prose more vivid. It's a tool. Unfortunately, Steve points out, metaphors often are assertions of the author's talents, instead of ways to immerse us in the characters' world. They're distractions more often than aids.

Realistic short stories need simple, concrete physical details -- not metaphoric overloads. An untucked shirt might well be a metaphor -- or at least a clue -- to the mental state of the character, but it seems too mundane. So writers toss in storm-tossed feelings, train wrecks of emotions, and jungles of misunderstandings... and readers can't see the characters for the metaphoric mess.

Steve's other objection to metaphors is that they distract readers from verbs. Too often, they are added around perfectly well-chosen verbs, and the reader gets lost in the metaphors (again!). Cut the metaphors, and let the verbs stand on their own. Make the reader focus on the action, not the writer's fancy metaphorical comparison for the action. The right verbs don't need the extra words.

Finally, Steve recommends that if you want to use a metaphor, be precise. Yes, metaphors are figurative. But you still need to make them accurate. Check your metaphors against this list:

• What work is this comparison doing?
• Is it essential to the story or optional?
• Does directing readers away from literal truth point them towards deeper truths?

And Steve provides three exercises! Yeah...

1. Consider the physical and emotional connotations of comparing your protagonist to:

• a hummingbird
• a walrus
• a leopard
• a dung beetle

2. Their bodies met like a _______ and a _______. Consider what the right comparison might be based on the following settings:

• a funeral
• a bordello
• a battlefield
• a family reunion
• a space station

3. Take a look at your most recent story or chapter. Underline every single metaphor or simile. Force yourself to articulate what essential work each is doing on behalf of your fictional world. Now cross them out, one by one. What have you lost? What have you gained?

Metaphors and similes. They're a part of our language, and we often use them without really thinking it through. And like most cliches (notice the simile there?), they can drag our writing into the dirt (metaphorically, of course). So we need to pay attention to them, and choose carefully when to use these tools of the writer.

Write?