The Place For My Writers Notes

Make a Scene by Jordan Rosenfeld

(We're making a scene, checking it twice, gonna find out who's naughty and nice . . .)

Okay. So we got the idea that a scene consists of a launch, a middle, and a bang up ending. In part two of his book, Rosenfeld looks at some of the ingredients or core elements that we use to put that together. The setting, senses, character development and motivation, plot, subtext, dramatic tension, and scene intentions (interesting, Dragon NaturallySpeaking likes to make that "and tensions" or "in tensions" rather than "intentions." And there certainly is a lot of tension :-). Quite a few ingredients in the stew, so let's start chopping.

Chapter 5: Setting starts out by pointing out that unfamiliar surroundings often make us feel unsettled and overwhelmed. The writer's job is to "act as a tour guide through each scene, expertly guiding the reader to all the important details, pointing out only what is necessary and what will help the reader understand what he sees."

So even though setting is mostly there to support and contain the scene action, and in most cases will not be the star, you need to think about it carefully and help the reader feel comfortable about where this is happening. The stage for any scene is what is seen. You're going to make a world, give the reader a framework so that they can sit down and look around. Sounds like fun!

Even though the setting is just a backdrop, you need to establish the setting to keep your characters from being floating heads. You can start out with a pretty sketchy setting and then fill in the details later, but you need to make sure it is there. Big things like the general geographic location, nature, and any homes and buildings. Locations, whether next door or across the galaxy, give the reader and the writer lots of information. A setting in Florida is not the same as a setting in California! Nature and the time of year combine to create outdoor settings that can involve weather and temperature and all kinds of wonderful background. And then there are buildings and houses and homes and rooms. All the great background of civilization, from small towns to great cities.

Next, think about the setting details. What is the time in history? Is it the wacky era of the 70s? Renaissance Italy? Or the year 9595 when it isn't any too certain that Man will still be alive? What about cultural references? Down south, up north near H'va'd, or maybe out west where the coyotes play? How about in Europe, or whatever?

And then there's props or objects. The key to this is purposeful placement, making sure that every object counts or has significance. Rosenfeld suggest thinking about it as a diorama -- all you want are the essentials that are representative in your scenes. Props that bring the scene to life! But be careful, because readers tend to think that every object you mention has significance. Especially the more loving the description and details, the more likely they are to think that it must mean something. And you really don't want too many Maltese Falcons wandering around through your scenes. Some of the possibilities for things you want to include might be mood objects, showing how the narrator feels about things. Significant objects, actually call attention to themselves. These may be plot significant -- the evidence, magic rings, dogs that don't bark, or whatever -- that actually change or influence the plot. Sometimes people are looking for it, sometimes they pop up by themselves, but in one way or another they make the plot go. There are also character significant objects -- things that have sentimental or emotional meaning, lucky pieces, and so forth. You need to make sure that the reader understands how the character feels about the object. You don't need to describe the object so much, but you do need to make sure that the relationship of the character and the object is crystal clear.

One very important point about objects is to describe them in the kind of detail that your character uses. Maybe he or she drives a jalopy, but they're more likely to drive a 1955 Camino Royale (I'm not sure if that's a real car or not, but you get the idea -- not a vehicle, but a specific one!). Avoid generics, or vagueness. Stick with specifics. "Remember that great characters and the wild plot actions they undertake need solid ground and meaningful props to support them. Always ask, what needs to be seen in this scene?"

One of the dangers of setting is that you can end up with too much narrative summary. Describing the setting is the easy and even fun, but it's there to create authenticity and ground the reader for the story. It should be a background, not upstaging the characters and plot! To help you keep the balance, think about:

• setting helps create mood or ambience as a tone for the scene
• your protagonist needs to interact with the setting
• the setting needs to support your plot
• small actions help break up setting description

The last but far from least, once you've established the place, put the props in, and you've got the characters and action going, stay consistent. Moviemakers have someone whose job is to watch continuity. Make sure that the flowers at the beginning of the scene don't turn into cactus somewhere along the way. Make little diagrams of the rooms, or even of the characters as they move around. One way or another, check to make sure that your props don't appear and disappear or strangely morph into something different.

So that's where Rosenfeld starts looking at the ingredients in the scenic mix -- with the setting. I suppose in a sense, that's the cauldron that we're going to cook in (although I'm probably pushing the metaphor a bit far with that :-) In any case, we need to know where this scene is taking place, and what kind of props are occupying the stage. Or if you like, what pieces did you put into the diorama where your story will take place?

Assignment? Take a scene, any scene -- well, one from a story you like, or one from a story you are working on. Then pull out the pieces. What is the setting for this scene? How does the writer establish the geographical location, the nature or buildings where it takes place? What about the props? How do they get worked in, and what do they tell us about the plot or characters? What is the function of the setting and props in this scene -- and how well do you think they work? Suppose you want to add one more prop or take one away -- what would it be and why? How does that change the scene? What about moving the scene from over there to yonder -- what would happen?

When we write, we let other people see a setting?

Original Posting: Tue, 4 May 1993 18:32:01 JST

"To write with taste, in the highest sense, is to write with the assumption that one out of a hundred people who read one's work may be dying, or have some loved one dying; to write so that no one commits suicide, no one despairs; to write, as Shakespeare wrote, so that people understand, sympathize, see the universality of pain, and feel strengthened, if not directly encouraged to live on."
...
"...every writer should be aware that he might be read by the desperate, by people who might be persuaded toward life or death."

From "The Art of Fiction: Notes on Craft for Young Writers" by John Gardner (Random House, 1991) p. 201.

(I wonder if Gardner talked in epigrams?)

Initial Posting: Fri, 23 May 1997 12:46:18 EDT


Who would benefit from reading this? Anyone who wants to draw on the strength and models of the oldest storytelling traditions of humanity may find this a useful summary of one abstraction from that rich field.

Vogler provides a vocabulary for writers based on observations drawn from The Hero with A Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. Specifically, he lays out archtypes of:

• the hero
• the mentor
• threshold guardian
• herald
• shapeshifter
• shadow
• trickster

describing their psychological function(s), dramatic function(s), and various types. He also describes the Journey in terms of:

1. ordinary world
2. call to adventure
3. refusal of the call
4. meeting the mentor
5. crossing the first threshold
6. tests, allies, and enemies
7. approach to the innermost cave
8. supreme ordeal
9. reward (seizing the sword)
10. the road back
11. resurrection
12. return with the elixir

What use are these archtypes and the pattern of the Hero's Journey? Let me quote from Vogler:

(p. 265) "First, Caveat Scriptor! (Let the writer beware!) The Hero's Journey model is a guideline. It's not a cookbook recipe or a methematical formula to be applied rigidly to every story. To be effective, a story doesn't have to concur with this or any other school, paradigm, or method of analysis. The ultimate measure of a story's success or excellence is not its compliance with any established patterns, but its lasting popularity and effect on the audience. To force a story to conform to a structural model is putting the cart before the horse."

and

(p. 266) "The pattern of the Hero's Journey is but one metaphor for what goes on in a story or a human life. ... Work out a different metaphor or several of them, if it helps you understand storytelling better."

"It's probably best to acquaint yourself with the Hero's Journey ideas and then forget about them as you sit down to write."

[he doesn't say whether you have to be wearing clothes or not...just sit down and write...:]

Make a Scene by Jordan Rosenfeld

Chapter 4. Successful Scene Endings

So here we are. We've launched our scene, with characters, action, narrative, or setting. And we've filled in the middle, raising the ante with complications and conflicts. Withholding, a dash of danger, and unexpected revelations with all the trimmings. And now it's time to end the scene. Are you ready?

Jordan starts out by pointing out that while we sometimes remember beginnings, endings are often the more memorable and poignant parts. In any case, "the end of the scene is a space for the readers to take a breath and digest all that they've just finished reading." This is where things add up, giving the reader more knowledge and investment in the plot and characters, while still teasing them to find out what happens next.

Jordan suggests that endings fall into two major groups: zoom-in and zoom-out. Do we end up up close and personal or pulling back and looking at the wider picture?

Zoom-in endings include character summaries, revelations especially in dialogue, and the old-fashioned cliffhangers. Character summaries -- whether interior monologues or simple dialogues -- are summaries. They're very good for emotional reflection about the character and their responses. Use them for character development, revealing more about the character -- but be careful not to overdo them. Revelations are dramatic and add tension, whether overt or even somewhat quieter emotional hints. And cliffhangers really make readers keep going to find out what happens. A character on the edge, an action that hasn't finished, or simply some change in how the character sees the world -- the suspense of a cliffhanger doesn't have to be melodramatic, but it makes readers turn pages. Again, don't overdo it.

Zoom-out endings give the reader a little relief. A visual description -- showing the reader something through the senses -- can provide a rest against the action. Simple visual scenes. Philosophical musings, often wandering into similes and metaphors, also can be used. These are more character based, not so much the plot or action driven story.

Then there are conclusive endings. Finish it up and tie up the plot point. Jordan suggests that killing a character, for example, might be a good scene ending. It's momentous, and putting it at the end of a scene lets the reader invest their own feelings in it. You can also answer questions, unmask the bad guys, or otherwise really tie up some plot thread. These are a strong contrast to cliffhangers.

Okay? So that's the sandwich, the launch of the scene that gets the reader into it, the middle filling, and the ending that rounds out the scene. You might think we've covered the whole scene, what's left? In part two, Jordan covers core elements like setting, senses, character development, plot, subtext, dramatic tension, and scene intentions in relation to the scene. In part three, he goes over a number of different types of scenes. So don't fret, the 36 pages we've already looked at are not everything. We've still got many pages to go.

And what about an assignment? Well, take a scene from a book or something you're working on, and consider Jordan's types of endings. First identify which part is the ending of the scene. What does it do for the scene? Is it a zoom-in or zoom-out ending? Which one? Does it use some pieces of others? Suppose you changed that ending for one of the other kinds - replaced the internal monologue with a visual description, for example? Or perhaps instead of the well-rounded ending, what if you wanted to make it a cliffhanger?


Don't you want to find out what happened after that?

So, that's this week's report on scenes.

When we write, we help other people wrap up?

Original Posting: Thu, 2 Jun 1994 18:35:02 JST


Just some notes - the basic thesis of this book is that you can take a plot idea, often from a book, story, or poem. Change the setting, characters, etc. and write a new story.

Part of their presentation is the notion that you add motivation - why is this happening - through one of the following:

1. Vengeance
2. Catastrophe
3. Love and Hate
4. The Chase
5. Grief and Loss
6. Rebellion
7. Betrayal
8. Persecution
9. Self-Sacrifice
10. Survival
11. Rivalry
12. Discovery/Quest
13. Ambition

Further, they recommend "spicing" the plot with one of the following:

1. Deception
2. Material Well-being (plus or minus)
3. Authority
4. Making Amends (GUILT!)
5. Conspiracy
6. Rescue
7. Mistaken Identity
8. Unnatural Affection
9. Criminal Actions (including murder)
10. Suspicion
11. Suicide
12. Searching
13. Honor/Dishonor

So, for example, perhaps you want your character to find the magic keys and save the kingdom (HOKEY!). As motivation, you pick love and hate, deciding to spice the mix with criminal actions (including murder). So your hero(ine) is driven by love (for who?) and/or hate (for who?) into criminal actions, perhaps even murder - culminating in rescue of the kingdom. Perhaps another character is driven by self-sacrifice, spiced with concepts of honor and dishonor, which lead them to oppose and then eventually to support the shady anti-hero(ine) who offers to save the kingdom.

Somehow these "roll-the-dice" plotting methods always make me a bit queasy. Still, it's another method...

original posting: Mon, 9 May 1994 18:35:01 JST


A short outline of points of the book I noted (but read the book - it's worth it!)

1. Show and Tell

• Prefer showing scenes to narrative summaries telling us about things. The scene is setting, character, dialogue, action. Every main event should be a scene!
• Balance - narrative summaries are a kind of rest, a good place for off-stage and minor action.
• Don't tell us about emotions - show them. Wherever possible, cut explanations. Then if it is needed, figure out a way to show it.
• Resist the urge to explain (R.U.E.)

2. Characterization and Exposition

• Don't stop the story to give us a summary of character - let these emerge from action, reaction, and dialogue. I.e., avoid thumbnail character sketches.
• Beware flashbacks, analysis, history - do you really need it?
• Watch for the dialogue or interior monologue that is only there to feed information to the reader - cut it!
• Give your readers the benefit of the doubt - let them interpret the character. Assume your reader is intelligent.
• Let the way the character looks at things or does things introduce us to the character.
• Rule of thumb: give your reader only as much background info, history, or characterization as they need at this point.
• Don't let your characterization and exposition show...

3. Point of View

• 1st, 3rd, omniscient - consider how intimate your reader and viewpoint should be. Then use the one that does the job.
• Establish POV fast.
• Whenever POV changes, check how fast you establish it.
• Make sure - are you using your characters' voices?

4. Dialogue Mechanics

• R.U.E. - make the dialogue show the emotion, don't tell us about it.
• Kill -ly adverbs.
• Prefer "said".
• Start a paragraph with dialogue, then attribute at the first natural break.
• Use beats (little actions).
• Dash for interruption; ellipsis (...) for trailing off.
• Make it natural.

5. See How It Sounds

• Use contractions, fragments, commas instead of periods, short words, and misdirection (let your characters misunderstand, answer the wrong question, talk at cross-purposes, hedge, lie, etc...)
• read it aloud.
• Try reading only one character all together, then another, etc.
• Are the "voices" distinct?
• Use word choice, cadence, grammar - not spelling.

6. Interior Monologue

• very powerful tool of text - make sure it's unobtrusive.
• trim unneeded - explanations and descriptions.
• change "He wondered ..." to "Why did he ...?"

7. Easy Beats

• Beats are the "little actions" between dialogue lines - stage business.
• good - show action, vary rhythm of dialogue.
• bad - overused (as I tend to do) they are distracting.
• balance - trust your reader.
• use fresh beats that characterize and help rhythm. Be especially careful of repeating the same strong characterizing beat again and again.

8. Breaking Up Is Easy To Do

• Prefer short paragraphs, but balance long and short.
• Watch long scenes - break them up!
• Watch for speeches - bust them into pieces.

9. Once Is Usually Enough

• avoid repetition. don't repeat. and, of course, saying something twice may not be a good idea, even if the words are different.
• note that repetition can be words, effects, information, characterization, characters, whole scenes... 1 + 1 = 1/2! Repeated effects lose effect, instead of increasing it.

10. Proportion

• Watch for excess descriptive detail, pet interests out of hand.
• Be careful when cutting - you may destroy proportion and balance.
• Time (words spent) on character, scene, plot element, etc. roughly indicates importance to the reader - don't disappoint them!
• Try marking the interesting parts, then consider the leftovers - are they needed? Do they add? Should they be shorter? Longer?
• Cut or rework...
• Use jump/cut - don't walk someone along every step, just jump the scenes.
• Avoid overblown details, overdone flashbacks, and excess tangents.
• But - the little subplots or descriptions not strictly advancing plot - are they all effective? if you don't have any, do you need some?

11. Sophistication

• avoid "pulling on her coat, she xxxx." and "As she cried, she xxxx." both bury an action in dependent clause.
• avoid cliches and cliched characters. at least, try warping it for effect. e.g. They vanished into thick air.
• every time you find a verb-adverb, try to find the right verb instead.
• comma string sentences, reproducing the urgency of action, pushing the reader ahead.
• Watch "quotes" ,_italics_, and exclamation points!!!
• avoid overly poetic figures of speech in the midst of action.
• sex and profanity have tended to flourish - try light use.

12. Voice

• relax - if it comes, it comes on its own.
• a mechanical aid - read your work, and note each line that "sings" to you. then read just those lines - that's your voice at present!
• now read it all again - and note the winces, the tinny lines.
• read just those, and consider applying:

original posting: Tue, 8 Feb 1994 18:35:02 JST

One of the books that is often referred to when discussing "how many plots are there" is one by Georges Polti. Having stumbled across the name several times, and having thoroughly learned to investigate original sources when possible (they often say something very different from what "everyone knows"), I have a copy of this book.

[I don't recommend this book, mostly because it is written in an older, flamboyant style that makes it painful to figure out what he's talking about. Interesting oddity of the writing world, though.]

Frankly, I think Polti was interested in a whole different question - what are the basic situations into which literature can be divided? Note that a novel or play may use several situations, and may make variations on those. He is looking for the "basic colors" used to paint the pictures - not trying to limit the combinations and permutations, but trying to identify what "underlies" all the plots.

If the artist tells us that there are only 3 primary colors (or whatever), no one interprets that to mean that there are not an almost infinite number of shadings available. Yet when Polti or someone says there are X basic situations, somehow we think that means there are limits on the plots available.

Anyway - Polti's own words, for your consideration...

The thirty-six dramatic situations
Georges Polti (1868-)
(translated by Lucille Ray)
Copyright 1977 (original copyright 1921)
The Writer, Inc. Boston

"...for there were indeed, as he [Gozzi] had indicated, thirty-six categories which I had to formulate in order to distribute fitly among them the innumerable dramas awaiting classification. There is, I hasten to say, nothing mystic or cabalistic about this particular number; it might perhaps be possible to choose one a trifle higher or lower, but this one I consider the most accurate." (p. 9)

here is a summary of his dramatic situation #1 - with the 10 varieties
that Polti noted under it!

1. Supplication (Persecutor, Suppliant, and a Power in authority, whose decision is doubtful)

a power whose decision is awaited is a distinct personage

(1) Fugitives imploring the powerful for help against their enemies
(2) assistance implored for the performance of a pious duty which has been forbidden
(3) appeals for a refuge in which to die

b undecided power is an attribute of persecutor himself

(1) Hospitality besought by the shipwrecked
(2) charity entreated by those cast off by their own people, whom they have disgraced
(3) Expiation: the seeking of pardon, healing, or deliverance
(4) The surrender of a corpse, or of a relic, solicited

c suppliant divided into two persons, the Persecuted and the Intercessor

(1) supplication of the powerful for those dear to the suppliant
(2) supplication to a relative in behalf of another relative
(3) supplication to a mother's lover, in her behalf

In the conclusion, Polti first talks about how to obtain nuances of the situations - e.g., enumerate the ties of friendship or kinship possible among the characters; determine the degree of consciousness, of free-will and knowledge of the real end to which they are moving; divide a character into two with one acting as a blind instrument of the other; modify the energy or target of the actions resulting from them; or substitute a group of characters for any single character. He also mentions combining situations in various ways. He alludes to a separate work on "Laws of Literary Invention" which would show how these thirty-six basic situations "may be endlessly multiplied."

[challenge for the librarians amongst us - did he write that book? it would probably be in French, if he did.]

He also offers ten thousand scenarios, realistic, effective, and totally different.

I think Polti was trying to lay out the basic categories, with some hints at the finer divisions, within which we might fit the pieces of all literature. He mentions that in this exposition he only cites a mere 1,200 examples. However, he seems to take care not to say that these dramatic situations are "plots" - indeed, at several points he talks about the uncountable numbers of plots that can be built using these situations. I think he was trying to identify "building blocks" or some such abstraction, without any intent of constraining the artist.

Sorry, chums, but as far as I can tell, Polti didn't mean there are a few plots - in fact, he was more interested in finding out which situations we rarely use, and in developing ways of multiplying the number of plots available by wringing variations, combinations, and other changes on these building blocks!

So - don't worry, we only got two sexes, but we make lots and lots of people out of those two basics. With 36 situations, think how many different plots you could make, especially stirring in characters, setting, etc.

Original Posting: Sun, 22 Aug 1993 18:00:03 JST

(for anyone who may be having trouble freeing yourself to write)

You might be interested in "Becoming A Writer" by Dorothea Brande. Book of the Month Club has it in their Writers 3-in-1 selection (which turns out to be one book - I thought it was three - containing three older ones), but the imprint is Quality Paperback Book Club, so you may be able to get it other ways.

Interesting - it is basically a challenge to the notion that writers are born, not made, with a psychologically oriented set of exercises to unlock your unconscious (and eventually your genius). One of the few books I've seen that tries to teach you a mental process to support writing (or other creative arts). Might be considered a forerunner to the books on drawing (pun intentional) from the right side of the brain.

Recommended.