The Place For My Writers Notes

Original posting 2 November 2008

Chapter 26: Scene Assessment and Revision

Wrapping up Make a Scene by Jordan Rosenfeld, we take a look at judging your scenes and revising them. Rosenfeld suggests that when you finish with the draft or just even a scene, you should set it aside for a while. Let it cool off. Then after a while you'll be ready to revise it.

The first step is identifying vignettes. Rosenfeld calls these free-floating vignettes -- small, graceful literary sketches that don't necessarily do anything for the plot and are really extraneous. Oh, you may prefer baroque or rococo styles hung about with descriptions of whaling and so forth, but the current mode is more sparse. So how can you tell if something doesn't fit the plot context, or is missing important elements of the scene? Start by considering these questions about the scene:

• Is new plot information introduced?
• does it relate to the significant situation?
• does it build on the last scene?
• is the protagonist involved, informed, or affected?
• does the reader feel smarter and more involved because of it?
• does the clock tick? Does the scene move us forward in time?

Relevant scenes will usually have yes answers for all of these questions. No to any of these means you have a vignette, and you need to decide whether to expand it to fill in the missing element or simply to cut [I suggest cutting to a save file -- you may never actually use it, but at least for me, tucking it away for later use is easier than throwing it in the trash].

Why not keep the vignette? You're building a set of scenes for the reader. Vignettes puzzle the reader, because they don't seem to do anything. The key question is whether the narrative makes sense and flows without the scene. If the answer is yes, save that vignette for later. [Oil and vignette salad, anyone?]

Turning vignettes into healthy scenes often involves filling in one of the following elements:

Character motivation. When characters behave in unrealistic or unrelated ways, it's time to think about the character and figure out what they really want to do and why.

Pertinent dialogue. Dialogue can be lots of fun to write, but you need to make sure it goes somewhere, is interesting and exciting, and pertains. Clean it up, get some conflict into it, and don't let the talking heads take over.

Setting. Sometimes the setting doesn't matter or it is so ill-defined that the characters might as well be in a white room. How important is your setting? Do you need to change it, tell the reader about it, or cut it?

Information. A scene where nothing is revealed probably means nothing happens. What happens next? How can you reveal that?

Action. Every scene doesn't have to be a whirlwind of gunplay and car chases, but readers to get bored with sitting on the porch. "Remember to think in forward motion." What action would get your plot or characters moving in interesting ways? And as someone said, if things are boring, bring a gun in! Sometimes those surprise entrances and offstage explosions can be helpful.

Conflict. Make the conflict real and difficult. Consider the consequences, and up the ante if you need to.

If you decide to cut the vignette, after you cut it, take a minute to go back and reread. If the plot suddenly is missing something, or you feel like you really want that there after all, put it back. Then fix it up so that it belongs there. The good news is that electronic editing makes this kind of revision and undoing a whole lot easier.

You may find that you have stretches of narrative summary that you'd like to cut back on. The guiding questions are:

• Will cutting this narrative hurt the plot or characters? No? Cut.
• can I use dialogue, flashback, or action to reveal the background information or explanations from the narrative summary? Yes? Replace it.
• is this information repeated in another scene? Yes? Cut it.

Scene architecture -- when you're revising, you can look at how the structure of the scenes hangs together, how the scene itself works and how it connects with its neighbors. So you want to check whether each scene:

• has a beginning, middle, and end?
• has a vivid launch that engages the reader immediately?
• has rich subtext, with texture, themes, and imagery?
• makes things harder for the characters and raises the stakes?
• ends with the reader eager to keep reading?
• has a logical ending that still leaves the next scene room for launching?

And then of course, the scene itself deserves a checklist. Are the setting and senses well-established? Do the characters jump off the page? Is there enough tension and suspense to keep readers turning pages? Specifically, for each and every scene:

Visual and Sensual Details

• is there a vivid, effective setting that doesn't overwhelm the story?
• Are the time, place, and culture revealed in details?
• do the background objects reflect plot and character for the reader?
• is there enough sensory detail to make it feel real?

Characters

• do the first two paragraphs include a distinctive protagonist?
• are there useful minor characters stirring the plot as catalysts or antagonists?
• do voice, dialogue, and behavior -- the action -- reveal character? Avoid using narrative summary to reveal character.
• are the points of view consistent?
• does the protagonist get a chance to act or react?
• is the protagonist forced to reevaluate or change?
• is the protagonist engaged in the plot?

Plot

• is there at least one new piece of information introduced?
• is information revealed in the last scenes built on?
• does revealed information say something about the significant situation and its consequences?
• is significant information revealed slowly, creating mystery and suspense? Is there a sense of secrets yet to come?
• are flashback scenes instead of backstory used where needed?

Dramatic Tension

• "employ subtlety over melodrama?" [Although melodrama has its place :-)]
• does the scene create an emotional response in the reader, not just in the characters?
• is there a feeling of potential conflict?
• are the goals and plans of the protagonist thwarted, delaying and sidetracking his satisfaction? [Frustrated protagonists make the best kind]
• are unexpected changes thrown in without immediate explanations?
• does power and understanding shift back and forth?
• is the rug pulled out from under your protagonist? Are pieces of plot information introduced that change or alter the protagonist in some way?
• do setting and senses create a tense atmosphere?

There, you've got it. 26 chapters, all about making a scene, and a lot of information. I recommend buying the book -- I skipped a lot of examples and elaboration that you probably want to read.

A practice exercise for revising? One thing to consider is that story or novel that you liked. Go through and look at how it fits Rosenberg's checklist. Are there vignettes left hanging? What about the narrative summaries -- those infamous infodumps? Does the overall architecture of scenes hang together (or we shall assuredly hang apart? :-) What about each scene? Does Rosenberg's checklist of setting, characters, plot, and tension help to see why this scene does the job?

You can always take your own work and run it through the wringer, too. Right now you could also borrow the Halloween stories.

Nanowrimowers, naturally, are excused from revision at this time -- next month, or maybe in January or February, though, you might very well want to think about these guidelines for revision.

I suppose the other twist that you could use is to consider these as guidelines for writing. After all, taking a checklist and trying to make sure you cover the main points while writing should make it a little easier during revision? Just as long as the checklist doesn't become a barrier to the writing. But some of the reminders about making sure each scene has strong setting, vivid characters, a remorseless plot, and plenty of twists and changes could certainly help fill in some of the edges.

discard a pet hypothesis before breakfast -- you'll feel lighter all day!