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FAQ: The Writer's Secret
Sep. 5th, 2008 09:36 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
mbarker.livejournal.comOriginal posting: Sat, 5 Feb 1994 18:35:01 JST
FAQ: The Writer's Secret
The Mohair Rashly lecture on writing? Yes, you have come to the right place. Please go write.
I'm sorry, that was just a little joke. Now, if you will take a seat, the Mohair will explain the secret of writing.
The Writer's Secret
[the house lights dim slowly, then flash to full bright, then flick off. strange curly wiggles of light and pinwheels of color dazzle your eyes. a strange unearthly sound begins somewhere in the glowing darkness. the seat seems to be pushing up and gripping you in a warm familiar way.]
<actually, one of the stagehands is whistling behind the curtain with no sense of melody or tune, but we'll take whatever atmospheric effects we can get>
[the lights rise on stage, revealing a strange little man draped in white cloth staring at his bare feet poking out of the cloth in front of him. after a moment, he looks up and smiles.]
I wonder where I left my socks tonight? I thought I had them on, but it was so dark behind the stage. I must have lost them when I wasn't walking.
<someone in the audience coughs>
Oh! Hello. I almost forgot, you are all here to find the secret of writing, aren't you? If you are looking for the meaning of life lecture, that's down the hall in the padded room.
<a few people mutter and get up, rushing to the other lecture.>
So you are all in the right place now. Good, good.
Let me tell you about yourself. You have searched long and hard, pondering and paying for conferences and workshops and books. Perhaps you have even bought some of my books. If not, please see me after the lecture and I'll tell you where to get them.
But tonight you have come to the place where you will learn the real secret of writing.
You see, once I was like you. I tried exercises, I thought about famous schools that would let me take a test to decide if I could pay for lessons, I read, I complained bitterly that I had a good job and happy life which made it impossible for me to suffer enough to write, I even worried about which paper to write on and all that.
Then, one day, I learned the secret. And now I will tell it to you.
Are you ready?
Of course you are! So let us start.
First I want you to reach around with both hands as if you were going to scratch the back of your head. Yes, do it now.
Now lift the hair on the back of your head. Go ahead and scratch a little if you want to.
Feels good, doesn't it?
Okay, while you have the hair up, I want you to stretch your mind back, to reach back with your nerves and will. Feel the back of your head - from the inside. Let yourself focus on the back of your head.
Now. Open the eye of the writer, hidden in the back of your head!
Did you feel it quiver? Just a little?
You see, the secret of the writer is this third eye, waiting for you to learn to open it. It is not easy. You have all that hair, and the muscles in the back of your head aren't used to opening that sleeping eye, but you can do it. I know you can.
Just stretch, then relax, and try again. Feel the muscles, feel the hidden bulge in the back of your mind, and try to lift those eyelashes you can't see.
If you get the eye of the writer open, even the tiniest little crack, don't be surprised or scared when it shows you something quite different than you have ever seen before. After all, you've never tried to look through the back of your head before, have you?
Once you get even a little glimpse through that eye, you will write. And then take another glance, or even a glare, through that eye and keep writing. What you see through that third eye may startle and shock you, but as long as you keep looking through it, the sights will rush into the back of your mind, bounce around inside, and then come streaming out. Don't stop that flow - keep writing as long as you have the third eye open.
Sometimes you may want to rest the poor aching eyelid in the back of your head, or it may even drop down by itself, blinking as the scene changes, or dazzled by the lights. That's okay - take some time to let your regular eyes see the writing you've done, and squint a bit to get the writing in good shape.
Polish up some of that writing and put it in the mail, because what you have seen with your third eye is never boring, and editors everywhere are waiting to hear about the mystic sightings. Really. In fact, if you do this regularly, they will send you paper marked with our secret mark - look at the pyramid and you will see it.
That's really all there is to it. That is the secret of the writer - opening the third eye hiding in the back of your head and taking a look around the places it shows you. That isn't so hard, is it?
So, right now, before you forget, try again - let your mind reach back, and feel that eyelid rise slowly, just a crack, and the eye in the back of your head foggily focuses on...
What did you see?
Incidentally, what color is your third eye? I can't quite tell from here...
Keep that eye open whenever you can, and you'll learn to see flea circuses dancing on the high wires of spider webs, miles and miles across vast desserts (burp!), and other strange and wonderful places.
Take a moment or two to let your friends on WRITERS know what you see with your third eye - and let people in on the secret of the writer.
FAQ: The Writer's Secret
The Mohair Rashly lecture on writing? Yes, you have come to the right place. Please go write.
I'm sorry, that was just a little joke. Now, if you will take a seat, the Mohair will explain the secret of writing.
The Writer's Secret
[the house lights dim slowly, then flash to full bright, then flick off. strange curly wiggles of light and pinwheels of color dazzle your eyes. a strange unearthly sound begins somewhere in the glowing darkness. the seat seems to be pushing up and gripping you in a warm familiar way.]
<actually, one of the stagehands is whistling behind the curtain with no sense of melody or tune, but we'll take whatever atmospheric effects we can get>
[the lights rise on stage, revealing a strange little man draped in white cloth staring at his bare feet poking out of the cloth in front of him. after a moment, he looks up and smiles.]
I wonder where I left my socks tonight? I thought I had them on, but it was so dark behind the stage. I must have lost them when I wasn't walking.
<someone in the audience coughs>
Oh! Hello. I almost forgot, you are all here to find the secret of writing, aren't you? If you are looking for the meaning of life lecture, that's down the hall in the padded room.
<a few people mutter and get up, rushing to the other lecture.>
So you are all in the right place now. Good, good.
Let me tell you about yourself. You have searched long and hard, pondering and paying for conferences and workshops and books. Perhaps you have even bought some of my books. If not, please see me after the lecture and I'll tell you where to get them.
But tonight you have come to the place where you will learn the real secret of writing.
You see, once I was like you. I tried exercises, I thought about famous schools that would let me take a test to decide if I could pay for lessons, I read, I complained bitterly that I had a good job and happy life which made it impossible for me to suffer enough to write, I even worried about which paper to write on and all that.
Then, one day, I learned the secret. And now I will tell it to you.
Are you ready?
Of course you are! So let us start.
First I want you to reach around with both hands as if you were going to scratch the back of your head. Yes, do it now.
Now lift the hair on the back of your head. Go ahead and scratch a little if you want to.
Feels good, doesn't it?
Okay, while you have the hair up, I want you to stretch your mind back, to reach back with your nerves and will. Feel the back of your head - from the inside. Let yourself focus on the back of your head.
Now. Open the eye of the writer, hidden in the back of your head!
Did you feel it quiver? Just a little?
You see, the secret of the writer is this third eye, waiting for you to learn to open it. It is not easy. You have all that hair, and the muscles in the back of your head aren't used to opening that sleeping eye, but you can do it. I know you can.
Just stretch, then relax, and try again. Feel the muscles, feel the hidden bulge in the back of your mind, and try to lift those eyelashes you can't see.
If you get the eye of the writer open, even the tiniest little crack, don't be surprised or scared when it shows you something quite different than you have ever seen before. After all, you've never tried to look through the back of your head before, have you?
Once you get even a little glimpse through that eye, you will write. And then take another glance, or even a glare, through that eye and keep writing. What you see through that third eye may startle and shock you, but as long as you keep looking through it, the sights will rush into the back of your mind, bounce around inside, and then come streaming out. Don't stop that flow - keep writing as long as you have the third eye open.
Sometimes you may want to rest the poor aching eyelid in the back of your head, or it may even drop down by itself, blinking as the scene changes, or dazzled by the lights. That's okay - take some time to let your regular eyes see the writing you've done, and squint a bit to get the writing in good shape.
Polish up some of that writing and put it in the mail, because what you have seen with your third eye is never boring, and editors everywhere are waiting to hear about the mystic sightings. Really. In fact, if you do this regularly, they will send you paper marked with our secret mark - look at the pyramid and you will see it.
That's really all there is to it. That is the secret of the writer - opening the third eye hiding in the back of your head and taking a look around the places it shows you. That isn't so hard, is it?
So, right now, before you forget, try again - let your mind reach back, and feel that eyelid rise slowly, just a crack, and the eye in the back of your head foggily focuses on...
What did you see?
Incidentally, what color is your third eye? I can't quite tell from here...
Keep that eye open whenever you can, and you'll learn to see flea circuses dancing on the high wires of spider webs, miles and miles across vast desserts (burp!), and other strange and wonderful places.
Take a moment or two to let your friends on WRITERS know what you see with your third eye - and let people in on the secret of the writer.
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