TECH: Mark Twain's Rules for Writing

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Original posting: Fri, 18 Feb 1994 18:35:02 JST

Mark Twain's Rules for Writing

1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere.
2. They require that the episodes of a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale, and shall help develop it.
3. They require that the personages in a tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that always the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others.
4. They require that the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, shall exhibit a sufficient excuse for being there.
5. They require that when the personages of a tale deal in conversation, the talk shall sound like human talk, and be talk such as human beings would be likely to talk in the given circumstances, and have a discoverable meaning, also a discoverable purpose, and a show of relevancy, and remain in the neighborhood of the subject in hand, and be interesting to the reader, and help out the tale, and stop when the people cannot think of anything more to say.
6. They require that when the author describes the character of a personage in his tale, the conduct and conversation of that personage shall justify said description.
7. They require that when a personage talks like an illustrated, gilt-edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven-dollar Friendship's Offering in the beginning of a paragraph, he shall not talk like a Negro minstrel at the end of it.
8. They require that crass stupidities shall not be played upon the reader by either the author or the people in the tale.
9. They require that the personages of a tale shall confine themselves to possibilities and let miracles alone; or, if they venture a miracle, the author must so plausably set it forth as to make it look possible and reasonable.
10. They require that the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and their fate; and that he shall make the reader love the good people in the tale and hate the bad ones.
11. They require that the characters in tale be so clearly defined that the reader can tell beforehand what each will do in a given emergency.

An author should
12. _Say_ what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.
13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.
14. Eschew surplusage.
15. Not omit necessary details.
16. Avoid slovenliness of form.
17. Use good grammar.
18. Employ a simple, straightforward style.

TECH: William Safire's Rules for Writers

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Original posting: Fri, 25 Feb 1994 18:35:01 JST

(I put the sentences on different lines so I could read it)

*chuckles*

posted by jeremy@CSOS.ORST.EDU (Jeremy Smith) to alt.usage.english

William Safire's Rules for Writers:

Remember to never split an infinitive.
The passive voice should never be used.
Do not put statements in the negative form.
Verbs have to agree with their subjects.
Proofread carefully to see if you words out.
If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.
A writer must not shift your point of view.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
(Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!
Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.
Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.
Avoid trendy locutions that sound flaky.
Everyone should be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their writing.
Always pick on the correct idiom.
The adverb always follows the verb.
Last but not least, avoid cliches like the plague; seek viable alternatives.

I Found It!

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

You're in luck. I stumbled across a cache of notes from some years back that seem to have odd hints and suggestions about some ideas for writing. So I thought perhaps I would use them as the basis for some new exercises. I know you've been waiting with trembling fingers. So let's get right to it.

Number one seems to have been me playing with variations on a phrase. Why don't you give it a try yourself? I was starting with "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." Since one of my pet peeves is the tendency to use punishment when reward will work better, I was mangling it somewhat like this:

1. An ounce of reward is worth a pound of punishment.
2. A pat of reward is worth more than a pound of punishment.
3. A small pat of reward outweighs a pound of punishment any time.
4. A light pat in reward does more than a hard pound of punishment.
5. A light rewarding pat keeps people going long after a hard pounding has stopped all effort.

Not quite ready for prime time, but certainly a lot of fun to play with. Take your own phrase and warp those words! Try to come up with an aphorism that will live through the ages, or at least until tomorrow.

Number two. How about picking a number between one and six? Okay? Here are some phrases I had scribbled down.

1. My deathday is coming
2. innocent until traumatized (or innocent until victimized? Pick the one you like better)
3. bums are subject to grime and banishment
4. extraordinary minus ordinary equals ???
5. He's a time bopper
6. It wasn't just a story, was it? (With thanks to The Adventures of Baron Munchausen?)

Now take that phrase and do something with it. Maybe start out by doing a little brainstorming about just what the heck it means, and what it might suggest about a story or poem. Perhaps about a character, or a scene? Go ahead, what happens next?

Number three seems to be a whole collection of odd titles. So for those of you who'd like a title to start your wheels churning, here you go. Pick one that resonates for you and scribble. Or pick a number from one to 11 and see which one you've stumbled across.

1. The Songs They Sing in Hell
2. Some Days You Can't Get Out Of the Blender
3. The Rainy Season of Martha
4. High Precipitation with a Chance of Statues
5. Equations That Bite
6. Bury Me at A Crossroads
7. A Murchison by Any Other Name
8. A Little Castration's Good for the Soul
9. Boots without Laces
10. The Bizarre Tale of Love and Kippers
11. The People's Libation Fount

There are more notes on this stack but I think I'll stop here and save some for later. So go ahead and write.

When we write, we let others imagine.