EXERCISE: barnyard chit chat?

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Original posting 5 April 2009

Remember Dr. Doolittle?

Writer's Digest, December 2007, page 21, offers the contest prompt:

"A dairy worker develops the uncanny ability to communicate with livestock." From the Writer's Book of Matches by the staff of fresh boiled peanuts, a literary journal.

If I could talk to the animals... what happens? Do cows really want to get up that early? And what do other people think about it?

Variations? Well, there are lots of people who work with animals. Or what about the Kansas farmer learning to listen to his crops? Heck, what happens when a laptop computer decides to answer the user that is complaining about how the computer made a mistake?

Just remember, you do the writing.

and babbling brooks or other voices in nature?

TECH: what did you say?

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Original posting 5 April 2009

Tags for the dialogue

Writer's Digest, November 2005, pages 20 and 21, in the Fiction Essentials column by Nancy Kress, talks about Who Said That? Not so much what they said, as how do you tag the dialogue. So here's Nancy's thoughts:

1. Substitutes for "said" Lots of people try using synonyms or substitutes for said. Most of the time, it's a mistake. Said is almost invisible. However, occasionally you may want to use a substitute that identifies a tone of voice. Shouts, whispers, murmurs, and screams, for example, may need a different verb. Just don't overdo it -- most of your dialogue is just said.
2. The great adverb controversy. This is almost as controversial, with Tom Swifties as the culprit for those who recommend wiping out adverbs when using said. In many cases, the dialogue should carry the meaning. Which makes the adverb redundant. But sometimes they add something. Nancy offers the example: "I did try to kill you, yes," he said tenderly. That little "tenderly" at the end raises some questions that leaving it off would hide.
3. Avoiding tags completely. Sometimes you have character actions. "You don't have to add anything when the action identifies who said it." Or when you have two people going back and forth. Although if they talk too long, and don't have different vocal styles, toss in a tag to help keep the reader oriented. And of course, if there are more than two people or it is ambiguous who is talking, use said.
4. Pacing. Sometimes you want to slow down the dialogue and emphasize key points. Adding a tag, or even a interspersed chunk of action and description, can slow it down. You might not think he said or she said do very much, but they do slow it down just a bit.

Tags are tricky. It's easy to overdo, ornamenting the dialogue with unnecessary character twitches. At the same time, you need enough to keep the reader oriented and interested. You don't want floating heads chattering away.

As an exercise, you might take a look at a book or story that had some dialogue that you really liked. See how they handled the tags. Then try to write a scene yourself using mostly dialogue. Take a hard look at the way you use tags.