The Moms' Club

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Original posting: Thu, 6 Nov 1997 21:58:29 EST

[did they really say...no, you must have gotten confused, trying to speedread through the mail...but wouldn't it be funny if...okay, let's do it!]

Let's see...maybe start with something like:

The engraved invitation letter was a surprise, and the message was even odder:

Dear Mrs. Smythe:

You may have wondered why other mothers know just the right ways to get under their children's skins, the best ways to make them regret leaving home, the absolutely perfect phrases for making them explode.

You don't have to wonder any more. Those other mothers are part of our club. And now, with this invitation, you too can become one of "The Best Moms."

We'll send you "Moms' Little Secrets" -- our weekly listing of hints and helps to keep your children on their toes. You can attend our training in telephone torture. And once a year, you'll have a chance to win in our contest "Just a Little Advice from A Mother."

Remember, "Mother Knows Best."

Well, something like that.

Anyway, the notion is to start by assuming that there really is a conspiracy of Moms. Somewhere that they learn how to time phone calls for maximum aggravation, how to ask if something is wrong (with that little twist that insists that something must be wrong, and how dare you keep it from your loving mother...and now that you're screaming that nothing is wrong, we can go on to fight about just why you got so upset with your mom asking if everything was alright?) Somewhere to get training in being the perfect goad...

Put that club together (is it weekly? meetings? newsletter? maybe dues? how about drops of blood and initiation rituals?)

Then you need to write up the story--of the new member? or maybe of the children discovering the club? what about when Dad finds out how Mom spends her time? Or maybe even what happens when good moms go bad?

Have fun--and write!

Quoth the Random Evermore...

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Original posting: Fri, 20 Jun 1997 18:44:01 EDT

if you go to http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3 and set the random number to six, the quotations to 20th century... push click to collect...

you might get this:

Unknown:
"The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets."
George Orwell:
"Big Brother is watching you."
Haida Indian saying:
"We do not inherit this land from our ancestors; we borrow it from our children."
Charles Wadsworth:
"By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong."
John F Kennedy:
"If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich."
Mahatma Gandhi:
"A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave."

and your assignment, should you choose to take it, is to connect the dots and make a wonderful piece of word magic. you may enter it in the summer contest, but if discovered, the secretary of state will disavow all knowledge...

So get going, back and forth, flatten that cat and make a mat...