TECH: Hey, Buddy, Have You Got A Goal?

[mbarker.livejournal.com]

Original posting 30 December 2008

Writing with a Partner

Writers Digest, June 2005, pages 45 and 46 have an article by Jennifer Lawler and Bev Bachel, with the title, "Who's Your Buddy?" The subhead tells the story: "If self-discipline isn't your strong suit, pairing up with a goal buddy can help you keep your writing goals on track. But make sure you pick the right partner."

Jennifer and Bev start out by remarking that writers have something to work towards -- whether it's getting a byline, having that novel published, or just finishing a short story. And most of them have concrete, manageable goals to help keep us pushing along. A writing quota. Sending out queries. Spending time at the computer. But at least some people find it easier to stick to those goals if they're working with a partner. They do suggest some guidelines for getting the right partner:

1. Seek a like-minded partner. Sharing some interests and being roughly at the same stage helps. Similar goals makes it easier to help and support each other.
2. Accept no excuses. Keep each other on track. Accountability is what the partnership is for. Don't let the other person down -- hold their feet to the fire and help them make that goal.
3. Agree on the rules. Decide how you're going to do things together.
4. Be open with your goals. Partnerships are based on honesty. Share your goals and be honest about them. Tell your partner what you want to do, not what you think people expect.
5. Be free with support and information. Share the resources, share the encouragement, and enjoy it.
6. Report and track your progress. "Measure what you want to improve.... For each goal your goal partner has, ask for a regular progress report..."
7. Take a holistic approach. "Goal partners help each other achieve their goals, but they also help each other deal with the roadblocks that get in the way of success, such as perfectionist tendencies and fear of rejection. Sharing your nonwork issues with your goal partner will help you clear the way for achieving your goals."
8. Celebrate each other's success. Reinforce success with rewards. Congratulate each other, celebrate reaching a goal or a milestone. Motivate the other person! Sometimes we have trouble recognizing our own success -- a partner can pat your back without you feeling embarrassed about it.

I think it's really a good idea. One of the difficulties of writing often is the solitude -- a partner, someone to talk about goals and direction, someone to help stay on track, can help with that. Notice that this isn't a writing partner that you share work with necessarily -- this is just someone that you tell about your deadlines, your quotas, your goals -- and then they help you by cheerleading and reminding you to meet those.

So try setting your goals with the buddy system. Just like in swimming, you're less likely to drown that way.

(So, have you got your resolutions ready? Which way do they go, which way do they go? I must follow them, for I am their leader?:-)