writercises | TECH: A Critique of Beginnings? (Reply)

Let's see. Writers Digest June 2004 has a page and a half selection from someone's submission, along with a critique by G. Miki Hayden on pages 54-55. We won't bother with the submission, but the critique is kind of interesting.

"The main contribution the first few pages of any novel must make is to hook the reader. So often, as writers, we focus on developing our characters were being splashy, when, really, at this point, we have to ask ourselves what effect our writing will have on our audience. Have we provoked a question that needs to be answered?"

The heading on this first section is called "Set out the Bait." That's the critical question. "Readers must have a strong need to know what happens next." You need to entice, reach out and grab the reader, make them want to keep reading. Being smooth, clever, interesting dialogue, nice description and so forth is good, but somewhere you need to set that hook, to get the reader involved.

Hayden's second point concerns using flashbacks in the early story. Hayden says, "Flashbacks can have a kind of dead or irrelevant quality about them. They aren't immediate and don't incite a reader's emotion in the way a current (past tense, of course) scene will do. ? Any backstory injected for development early on mustn't stop the forward motion dead in its tracks."

Hayden suggests that the regurgitation of past incidents may come from authors trying to show too much. Sometimes motivation, explanations for action or emotions, and similar background really doesn't need to be shown to the reader in detail. Don't get lost on the side trips, at least until the reader knows where the main action is going.

Third point concerned the setting. This particular story was in a small city, Midwest setting. Unfortunately, it could've been any small town or city anywhere in the world. While Hayden doesn't recommend encyclopedic descriptions, there need to be some details that help us realize that this is a unique town and unique characters. Instead of looking down the street and seeing people, policeman, firemen, the character needs to look down the street and see Helen Winters wearing a flowered hat even in the middle of winter. Or something else that gives us the essence of this town, this city, and the people who live there. Not anytown, but yourtown!

Since this story was a mystery, the other pieces of information that need to be there are the clues, the trappings of the genre that let the fans know you are going to play square with them. So there are two kinds of information that should be there. Information that the readers need, and information that the readers of the genre expect. Make sure there are enough bits to give the readers the setting and characters and genre, and no more!

Finally, Hayden talks about how to rewrite the beginning. The first question is whether we've picked the best point of departure. Think about the alternatives, think about whether starting a little earlier or later would work better. Do we have reasons to be interested in the characters, and to keep reading? Hayden suggests that one of the best tools for rewriting is a sharp scalpel, and that we excise anything that doesn't contribute to the story.

"While details helped to build pictures in the reader's mind and make the characters and story real and concrete, painting in a sentence or two with key elements can be worth more than several paragraphs that detract or distract from the actual plot line. The balance here may be a fine one, but such an equilibrium between blabbing too much and establishing a foundation is worth seeking."

So there you have it. From the titles of the sections: set out the bait; don't stop the progression; give them the info; and how to rewrite. Four suggestions about points to look at when you're working on the beginning of your story. Make sure you get the reader interested, avoid distractions, put in the details that need to be there, and don't be afraid to rewrite.

Write!
tink